Friendship Is All I Ask
by VenustusLovesJames
Summary: It's the 8th year for the survivors of the war and everyone has returned for their last year at Hogwarts. During the welcoming feast, everyone is openly insulting and talking loudly about being disgusted with the returning Slytherins. For some reason, Harry decides to walk over to Draco, and ask him to be friends. Warning: Self-harm etc. Check inside for more. (Work In Progress)
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This is a little story that was inspired by a really nice prompt that was posted on my Drarry page. The idea is solely theirs, they just wanted someone to write the story for them, since they didn't believe they had the writing skills to do so; though I must dissagree, everyone can write a story with this amazing prompt. :3 Anyway, hope you guys enjoy, I'm sorry that I haven't been active in a long time, I'll try seeing if I can write new things, and check out some old ones that I was concidering of posting after editing. Enjoy!**_

_**Read and Review please!**_

_***EDIT***_  
_**A/N: I am returning to this story for various reasons. I have edited the first chapter, changed the "Complete" into "In-Progress" state, changed the rating (warning bellow) and I have decided to turn it into a multi-chaptered fanfiction. Thanks for being patient, I know I wrote this a long time ago, but I felt it needed to be fixed and continued. :)**_

**Rating: M (changed from T)**  
**Words: ~2500**

**WARNINGS: This story will include self-harm and suicide attempts. If you are easily triggered, please don't read, I will try to make it as less graphic as possible and there will be a major warning on the chapter that there is something to be warned about. Thanks for understanding. **

**Disclaimers: I do not own and never will own any characters/places that are used in my stories, unless stated otherwise. All rights belong to the writer and publishers, and I don't make any profit out of this story.**

_**Summary: It's the 8th year for the survivors of the war and everyone has returned for their last year at Hogwarts. During the welcoming feast, everyone is openly insulting and talking loudly about being disgusted with the returning Slytherins. For some reason, Harry decides to walk over to Draco, and ask him to be friends, since he feels responsible for all the deaths that happened during the war. **_

* * *

**Friendship Is All I Ask**

* * *

Fall had come astonishingly quick for yet another year at Hogwarts. Everyone was too nervous for their return to the castle, after what had happened.

Ah yes, the great big battle of Hogwarts that finally ended the war. It had become an everyday gossip for those who survived and made it out just fine. For those who lost family and friends though, it was way harder to discuss the matter.

And then there was Harry and Hermione, coming back for their eighth and final year at Hogwarts, amongst many others who they knew from the previous years. They were both going to be attending the welcoming feast, along with the rest of the eighth years who were alive and mentally stable enough to come back to Hogwarts. Many were left traumatized and decided to flee the Magical World and hide into the Muggle world, but the majority of people who took part in the war were back. Most of them seemed healthy, and happy, and how couldn't they be? Harry Potter had saved them all, once again!

Over the summer, Harry had helped a lot with the reconstruction of Hogwarts along with the rest of the teachers and the remains of the Order who offered help. It hadn't been easy for any of them. Especially for Harry; watching the burnt and destroyed remains of the castle, with the war being still fresh in his mind, he couldn't help but wince every time they had to clean hallways where bodies used to lay at.

By the start of September the castle was ready to fill up with students again, but the school year started officially way into October until everything was put under control and everyone made sure that no more damage could be caused. Harry had made sure every corridor and every room was fixed, and he had then helped McGonagal to arrange the letters for the newcomers. Minerva was more than glad to have him help with the castle but she would often give him time to rest.

Since the students' return, everyone tried to get closer to each other as much as possible. There was one big table for all four houses for the eighth years, since the students weren't all that much. What made the most surprise to people was that three out of four houses were all packed on one side, and then, followed by a space, were sat the 10 remaining Slytherin students that decided to return; amongst them was Draco Malfoy.

Harry, being curious as ever, wanted to figure out why that was happening. All he had gathered was that there was increasing hate for all the Slytherins that took part in the war. And mostly for those who came back and _dared _to exist in the school and sit on the same table with the rest of the houses. All of the eight year consisted of around 57 students who were all disgusted and openly discussing and insulting the remaining Slytherins that had returned; and as for the rest of the tables, they were covered with the rest of the lower grades. But there were no first years, and that really surprised Harry.

"What happened to the first years, 'Mione?" he asked as they waited for everyone to settle down on the tables for the feast to begin.

"The Ministry didn't approve of new students coming here to learn magic, and many parents were afraid. The only first years that exist were already taught some things and they classified them as second years on the papers so the Ministry wouldn't know." Hermione said.

Harry nodded. "I still don't get why you chose to come back, though. I mean, I understand Ron left for Romania because of what happened to… Fred…" he said, the lasts of his sentence turning into a pained mutter as he turned his head away. "But why did you return?" he asked, turning to look at her.

"Well… I recovered my parents' memories, somehow. And they wanted me to be happy. So I told them I would be happy if I had my last year back at school, with my friends." She said and smiled at him.

"Oh 'Mione…" Harry said gently and wrapped an arm around her, hugging her gently.

* * *

On the other end of the table, the Slytherins were all chatting in small voices, trying not to attract any more attention to them. From the moment a Slytherin entered the Great Hall, everyone's eyes turned on them, hissing insults and cussing at them; some even going as far as getting up and spitting at the person, yelling threats that only wands would satisfy. They all knew they were the minorities and they didn't have room for fighting, so they might as well go on with their year and forget about everything. Everyone was being hostile against them either way.

But amongst the Slytherins, one of them got all the attention; Draco Malfoy.

Being the son of a Death Eater, having the mark, breaking Death Eaters into the school and attempting to murder the former headmaster was really not good for Draco's reputation that had once existed.

Draco held his head lowered as he walked in, coming in the hall almost last. He hated how everyone's eyes pierced right through him,so he quietly made his way through to the end of table, where the rest of the Slytherins were sat at.

The only problem with Draco's return was that he was absolutely alone; though he'd never admit it.

Pansy had never been a friend to him, but even so, with her gone to another country, he felt kind of abandoned by her. Crabbe and Goyle were never really friends with him, they were just followers and after Crabbe died, Goyle dropped out of school and went into hiding. Blaise on the other hand had gotten caught by the Ministry, and Theodore Nott, who he used to have small chats with, had also died during the war. The rest of the Slytherins that remained were people who were too scared to talk to him because he had the reputation he did. Draco was well on abandoned, by everyone. Even his parents had given up on him and had left him decide, before fleeing to France to some old family members that Draco did nothing of, just to hide from the press and prison.

Honestly, all Draco wanted was to see his father imprisoned and his mother alive and free. His father deserved it, and he didn't feel at all good when he had to cover up for him. He lied to the press, saying he had no clue where his parents were at; well, that was partially true, since he didn't know their exact location.

Draco sighed as he finally settled on his spot, next to some other Slytherin boy who just turned his head and looked at his plate, not wanting to look at the blond. Draco huffed and looked around, finally noticing a few meters away, none other than the wonder-boy himself; Harry Potter. He is hugging Hermione Granger, and he absently nods at Draco's direction, as if acknowledging him. They locked eyes for a second, before Potter got nudged by that Granger and started a conversation with her.

"Well, looks like I'm not going to have a peaceful year." Draco muttered to himself, disgusted by the scene.

He'd always thought that Granger would've ended up with Weasley, as strange as it sounded. She fit better with him, in Draco's opinion. And now seeing Potter _smiling _at her, like she was some girl he was casually shagging with but also loved; it made Draco sick to his stomach.

* * *

Harry shifted in his place when Malfoy's cold eyes found him from his spot, looking at him for the first time after the war. He saw the male softening for a split second, sadness taking over his expression before his face hardened again, his eyes lowering to where Hermione was resting and then looking away from them.

Harry had to remark that Draco had grown out of the little ice prince he used to be when they were younger; when they hadn't been affected by the war. He had grown into a man.

_The war changes people_, Harry thought. It had done the same for himself. But he'd never admit it to anyone just how much this war had hurt him.

Harry could definitely tell that there was a lot of hatred towards the Slytherins. Nobody would look at them friendly, and nobody would just glare at them at least without cussing and insulting them. He hated all of this act though, and so he gently stood up, making his way towards Malfoy.

Then he did something he never thought he would do. He might as well give it a go at it, since he had absolutely nothing to lose, right? Right. He'd already lost most of his family and friends due to the war. It wouldn't hurt turning an old enemy into a new friend.

Harry shook his head at himself and cleared his throat as soon as he was standing by Malfoy.

"Malfoy." Harry greeted him.

The blond turned and looked at him. "What brings you here, Potter?" he snorted, rolling his eyes as if Harry was making him sick.

"I've come to apologize." Harry said, and with that stuck out his hand for the blond, looking him in the eye and genuinely meaning that he wanted to apologize.

"I don't understand." Malfoy replied.

"I want to be friends, Malfoy. You don't… You don't deserve what you got. I understand now that any of this mess wasn't your choice, and that you had no other way of becoming what you are today." Harry said, his hand still out. He needed to control himself from getting too emotional about the war.

"And why would you want to be my friend, may I ask? Do you think that the great Golden Boy can befriend anyone and bring them to the good side? I was always on the dark side, Potter, and there's no way I'm becoming your friend." Malfoy hissed, ready to stand up and leave.

"Wait, just hear me out, okay?" Harry tried.

"Potter, you sod, the world isn't going to stop hating me just because you want to be friends. Never the less, they'll think you went mental, or that I hexed you." Malfoy said, finally looking into his eyes and leaving a small sigh escape.

Harry could see that the boy was not joking. "Well, what if I want to be friends?" he said.

Malfoy looked at him for a long moment, sighing softly. "What if I don't want to handle with the hassle that will be created?" he whispered, and for once Harry was able to see the truth in Draco's eyes and expression.

He seemed exhausted of the rumors and the war, and everyone hating him for something he couldn't change. Harry began understanding from the moment he saw Draco on the courtyard, right when Voldemort thought that Harry had died. Draco was asked to join his parents; and the blond had done so, agreeing with discomfort and after having to go through a hug from Voldemort himself.

"I can't change you, I'll admit. But I can't let you alone either. I want to give you a chance, since I never did when we were younger. We're a lot more like than you think. And I think that everyone deserves a chance." he said bitterly, looking down at an invisible dirty spot on the floor. "So, what do you say?" Harry said after a pause, holding his hand out in front of him for one more time.

After a long moment of silence, Draco stood up and took Harry's hand, gently shaking it. "I'd like to be your friend." He said finally, his features softening for a second.

Harry shook his hand and smiled at him. "Come join us." He said and pulled him gently.

"Just because I've agreed to be friends, doesn't mean that I can come sit with you and the others…" Draco muttered.

"Yes you can." Harry said and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards where he was sitting next to Hermione.

"Harry, why are you dragging Malfoy with you?" Hermione asked as soon as Harry sat down, with Draco next to him.

"I've decided that after the war, I shouldn't hold grudges. And besides, he didn't have a choice, 'Mione." Harry said.

"You're mental, Potter!" someone from the other edge of the table said. "Bringing a Slytherin to our side, and letting him sit amongst us. What happened to you?!" the person shouted.

"Just because I don't want to see people suffering anymore because of things they didn't have a choice for, doesn't mean that I'm mental. It means that I'm actually more logical than most of you are." Harry said to the guy.

Draco gasped. "Potter, I…" he mumbled, but Harry told him to be quiet.

"If anyone else has a problem with me trying to show you what real unity is, then fine. It's your choice. But I will not assume unity as only three houses being on speaking terms and completely hating on the fourth house, just because it was part of the dark side of the war. This isn't a school rivalry thing anymore. This war killed so many people, and damaged many more. People died in this war! We lost friends, and family, and if we continue this war after it ended, then I'm sorry but you're ungreatful! People gave all they had, and most of them didn't have a choice to pick sides. So if you're willing to judge me, know that you're judging a person who likes to give second chances to the ones who didn't know where to stand in the war. It's about time you forgive the Slytherins, even though most of you won't." Harry said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Draco smiled for the first time in forever, and Harry just took a look around, nodding.

"Right, thank you." Harry said and sat down again.

People started muttering to each other, trying to figure what spell was put on Harry and made him go that way.

At that time, Minerva McGonagal entered the conversation, since she'd overheard the whole thing.

"Mr. Potter is right. You must consider forgiving and listening, before judging. Your houses are like your families, and all of them make up our school, which is a bigger family. The four houses have existed in peace for years before this war. So, take Mr. Potter's advice, since he's put it into words somewhat satisfyingly good." She said.

More whispers and muttering took place around the table as Harry nodded at McGonagal with gratefulness. The headmistress left to take her place on the table of teaching staff, and soon enough the table broke into a big round of applause and everyone congratulated Harry; they congratulated him for being "so brave and telling everyone what was right when they had forgotten it". After they stopped applauding, everyone moved the tables so they were closer to the Slytherins, and some people went over and apologized to their old enemies, showing them their regret. Most people held back, but the rest got along fine.

Harry smiled in relief. "That wasn't as bad, was it?" he told Hermione with a grin.

"You idiot." Hermione said and ruffled his messy hair.

Draco grinned. "I can't agree more on that, Granger." He smirked.

Harry punched them both lightly on their arms, and shook his head.

Hermione chuckled and smiled at the two boys, starting a conversation.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Leave a review if you liked!**

**More to come soon! :D**

**~ Venustus**


	2. Chapter 2

**Do not skip this please. There are warnings for this chapter, and the rest of the story.**

**Warning 1:**** This chapter contains mentions of self-harm. It's not graphic at this point, but it could get graphic on next chapters, so if you're easily triggered, do not read further more into this story!**

**Warning 2:**** In the third/fourth chapter there is going to be a lot of triggering things, such as mentions of attempted suicide and self-harm, so again, if you think this story may trigger you, do not read it.**

**A/N: So, I finally brought myself to writing this. I was awfully busy, I needed to get my head in a specific mindset to write this, and I've just been avoiding it because I was genuinely feeling happy. But, it just so ****happened that last night I got the perfect amount of bad mood to be able to put it into words, so I wrote. But then editing, and I didn't think it was good enough to put out and I kept adding up and editing things out and fixing everything because I've become a perfectionist and I want this to be a good story. So yeah, sorry for the delay :/**

**Many many thanks to the awesome DeiStarr  for her Beta help, she helped me a lot to understand the situation better and be able to realize what Depression actually can be for a person. So, thanks a bunch to her, even though I bugged her a lot of the times and she couldn't quite help with the editing because of personal reasons, which I totally understand.**

**Again, my loves, really sorry for not posting this sooner, life just got to me and it was all weird. BUT, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, ENJOY THE CHAPTER, DUDES AND GALS AND CREATURES OF ALL TYPES OF SPECIES AND GENDERS WHO ARE READING THIS. :D **  
**  
****Please do enjoy, and if you decide you want to read this, just know that YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.****  
****Ratings and disclaimers were given in the first chapter. Warnings are there as well.**

**Thanks for reading, leave a review if you wish to do so. :3**

* * *

**~Chapter 2~**

* * *

A week had passed after the welcoming feast and everything had gotten into place faster than expected.

Draco, however, had been spending his days by figuring how he'd ended up being roommates with Potter. Oh right, the bloody hero had given a speech on being friends with him, and then McGonagall had called them in her office, telling them that they're going to couple up people from opposite houses to raise house unity. And it just so happened that Potter was _so pleased_ with this room arrangement that as soon as they'd shown them their rooms, he had taken his place on the bed, dragged the curtains and haven't said a word to Draco all week.

Yes, because putting them in the same room together would make them the best of friends. Surely McGonagall was up to something when she arranged it.

_"Professor, just because he stood up for me doesn't mean I want him as a roommate!" Draco protested._

_"Mr Malfoy, that's enough. You're well aware that the rooms have to be shared since there aren't many students around and there aren't many common rooms left in place either. We did our best to make Hogwarts able to sustain classes and students within it, but we cannot give students separate rooms." She insisted._

_Potter had been silent throughout the whole thing, not saying anything useful. Typical Potter._

Draco wasn't happy at all. Sharing a room with Potter was the worst idea, even though he'd agreed to being friends with him. He didn't mean that he wanted to become that close to him. He needed his privacy, but he couldn't have it because the stupid Scarhead would be sharing a room with him. Plus, how was he to know that Potter wouldn't hex him in the night and that was part of a plan to capture him and hand him to the Ministry all along? He mentally slapped himself for the stupid idea that came into his mind. There was no way he was able to be at school for that long without being dragged into the Ministry.

What bugged Draco the most was Harry's determination to become friends. Harry had been constantly trying to include him in things. Draco remembered all those times very clearly, even though in most cases he was more surprised by the sincerity of his actions than he was bothered by it.

_"Hey Malfoy!" Potter's voice rang through the corridor as Draco had been walking to get to his next class._

_"Potter. I thought you had class?" he asked with a raised brow._

_"Yeah, I do. Look, I was wondering, since we're kind of friends now, maybe you'd like to come with me and Hermione to Hogsmeade this weekend? We'll grab some butterbeer and-" Potter was saying, rambling quietly before Draco stopped him._

_"Thanks for the offer but I doubt they'd like my presence there. You know, since I'm the Death Eater scum and all." Draco sighed._

_"I know, but I was saying we could go towards the forest and sit there..." Potter mumbled._

_"Potter, I... I know I said I'd be friends, and your attempts so far have been very polite, but everything's too sore still. I'm surprised you even want to talk to me anymore, much more be friends. Besides, to be friends we need to know things about each other. I know nothing about you and I don't wish to mingle with things of the past that probably hurt you." He said honestly, looking at the Gryffindor. "Perhaps, if you give me some time, then we can work towards being friends. I've changed, and so have you, and whilst trying to find myself it's hard to find people who will tolerate me." He admitted._

_Potter nodded. "Right, I understand, yeah. The offer's still there, Malfoy." He said and waved, rushing off with his bag hanging loosely from his shoulder, his hair the usual mess that Draco had grown accustomed too. Draco thought that it was worse in the mornings, before Potter had the ability to tame it into a least messy version of it._

Draco had been constantly trying to avoid Potter until he could get his own head right, but the Gryffindor wouldn't leave him in peace. He wasn't going to admit it, but having those times where Harry would ask for his attention instead of Draco doing so was really making him feel more comfortable around him.

_Draco was sitting on the Slytherin table, eating silently on his own, when someone said his name and a hand started waving in front of his face. _

_"What is it that you want this time, Potter?" Draco sighed. He'd grown accustomed to Potter calling for him or coming up to him, but he'd never admit the way his heart clutched every time he heard his surname instead of his given name. _

_"Hermione and I were wondering; Want to join us for lunch?" Potter asked, pushing in place the bridge of his glasses with his hand as he looked at Draco, a hint of nervousness in his movements._

_Draco noticed something was off with Potter, but shrugged it off. He always noticed it when something was off with him, but he never had an explanation as to why. 'The war leaves wounds that cannot be healed, Dragon.' His mother had told him upon returning to the school, making him realize that he was going back with everyone who hated him. He'd tried to keep the arrogant act up, his mask securely in place for the world to see, but he couldn't stand hearing all those insults every day. He pushed away as many feelings as he could, and now finding himself talking to Potter like they were friends from a young age and noticing when Potter wasn't okay made Draco wonder what the hell was wrong in his head and why he felt sympathy for the green eyed git._

_He sighed, rubbing his temples. "Sure, I've got nothing to lose, right?" he said with a smirk._

_Potter smiled at him and backed away for him to stand up. **He'd smiled at Draco. **Draco had no idea what came over him, but he returned the smile, the first genuine smile that he'd given without feeling sick to his stomach. He decided that Potter wasn't such a git after all, and maybe his smile suited him._

_"Well, come on then, we don't have all day." Potter told him impatiently._

_"Alright, alright, you impatient brat, I'm coming." Draco sighed and picked up his plate and utensils, following him to the Gryffindor table._

He would straight up deny it to anyone who found out, but Potter was an interesting type of friend. He was stubborn to maintain what was just beginning.

Draco snorted. "Potter's smile doesn't suit him, he's a git." He sneered, rolling his eyes as he talked to himself. There were tons of incidents like that one, but he just couldn't wrap his head around why Potter made it so easy to be friends and why he had been insisting that they kept this bizarre friendship going. Draco was merely showing any interest at all, and even though he'd never admit it, he quite liked having Potter struggling to be his friend._  
_  
Draco sighed and stared at the ceiling of the dorm he shared with Potter. He never quite was happy, if he thought of it better. He never remembered being happy. He was always expected to be someone perfect, someone who he never wanted to be and that he'd never be. Deep down, only he himself knew how he felt. He was only eleven when he found out about Voldemort and what he could do, yet he'd recently become so aware of death and the consequences of the ongoing war, that eventually he wasn't even sure if he was allowed to be happy.

He had also stopped hoping that his life would turn out simple. It just wasn't happening with him. He had seen all those articles about death; he had seen all those posters that showed even his family were being hunted down. He never said anything about everything that was going on without his own will. He never spoke up for himself. If he did, he'd get hurt, tortured. He just knew he'd end up bleeding in his bedroom floor, so he remained quiet. Death Eater meetings, Voldemort living in his house; all of it involved him ending up in a horrible state of fear and pain.

He often found himself hating the only thing that kept him alive; Hogwarts. He was pretty much useless. That was until Voldemort himself had told him he needed him for a "special task" as he'd called it. He wanted Draco to _murder _someone; and not just anyone. He wanted him to murder Dumbledore. Being a student at Hogwarts had its perks, really. At least to Voldemort it did. He would use Draco to get rid of the only wizard that Voldemort himself couldn't defeat; as if Draco would ever dream of being capable of killing Dumbledore.

Draco always hated the idea that he was no use for anything. His parents always cared to provide him with basic pureblood knowledge, to raise him to be a worthy heir to their family, to marry a pureblood girl from sixteen and make pureblood babies that would carry his name.

Draco would always laugh at the idea of marrying a girl; or being with a girl, for the record. He knew he was different from the start, he always knew. He would never marry a girl because he always dreamt of the same prince that five year old girls dreamed. He would never have a girlfriend because each girl that ever showed interest in him would make him feel like his personal space was invaded. He knew something was up when during puberty he dreamt of dark haired figures, often without a specified gender. But he knew. He knew he was gay, and he knew it wasn't good.

It meant he was weak. It meant he'd failed the only thing he'd ever be good use for; _their_ baby-making heir. It meant that whoever made decisions for him for all his life would be severely disappointed once they found out there was a flaw in their plans. It meant his parents would be dissapointed.

Draco never took decisions of his own. He always followed orders. He always got told what to wear, what to eat, who to be, to be good at school, to be polite at Death Eater gatherings, to fix the Vanishing Cabinet and let the Death Eaters in after he failed to do the one thing he could not do, which was to take another person's life with his own magic, and the list went on and on.

Draco shook his head, clearing the sudden wave of memories that he'd been caught in. He felt sick to his stomach when he remembered those types of things. The only thing that had made him smile was Potter, and it was worrying him a lot. It didn't mean he was attracted to him, no. Potter was Potter, boy or not. He could not like Potter, simply because he was Potter, right? He shouldn't like him. No matter how wrong it felt when he noticed the fire leaving Potter's eyes and no matter how many times he noticed Potter taking over the conversation and then dismissing himself quickly, leaving all of his food behind. But he always explained it as Potter being his weird, usual self, nothing more.

Groaning loudly, Draco pulled himself up from his prior lying position, rubbing his temples. He'd been giving himself a headache with all this thinking. And the thinking was about Potter, mostly, and a bit about the past. It didn't do him any good to linger on things he could no longer change, right? The end of the war should've felt more relaxing, but it was turning out more confusing that he'd expected.

Soon, Draco moved so he was sitting by the edge of his bed, looking at his lap. He glanced at the clock and sighed. It was way past midnight, and the only thing in his mind was that classes were over, so where in the world was Potter at this hour? The room remained empty, besides for himself. So, where was the silly Gryffindor again?

Draco had gone to his classes normally that day, but it felt strange not to have anyone to make decisions for him anymore. He was free from all of them, and it scared him so much to be free to decide what he wanted to do with his life. Not having a war, a maniac murderer or his parents above his head, yelling at him what to do, ordering him to make possible everything that seemed impossible, made Draco feel strange with this change of events. After the war, he became truly free. He was free to decide, free to be happy again. He smiled to himself.

His head snapped as the door opened suddenly, seeing Potter shuffling in, his sleeves tugged into his fists and his eyes red and bloodshot, as if he'd been crying. Draco found it odd.

"You seem like you need some sleep, Potter. Did you get dragged through the forest by a vicious monster again?" Draco said, looking out for a way to insult him but only failing; he had to admit, it felt weird trying to be rude again. They always hated each other though, but Draco had stopped insulting him, it felt almost wrong to do so. Besides, Potter made it impossible to be alone without him or Granger trying to drag him into their activities. He didn't mind that much anymore, though.

"B-Bugger off, Malfoy. Please..." Potter sniffled and sat on his own bed, turning his back to Draco; this time not closing the curtains.

"What's wrong?" Draco muttered under his breath, hoping Potter wouldn't hear his concern.

"Not in the mood..." Potter mumbled as he fell on the bed and curled on his side.

"Goodnight then." Draco said and fell back against his bed, looking at the curtains that hung from his bed and eventually drifting off to sleep.

* * *

The next day, Draco found himself sitting alone at breakfast. The reason being was that Potter hadn't woken up and hadn't spoken to him or Granger. Sure, Granger was much more polite and contained, while as Potter would act like a five year old when he was having breakfast and then quiet down during classes, but Draco still felt his presence missing somehow.

But it wasn't happening today, and Draco was awfully worried. He understood that Harry may have had something happen last night, but he didn't understand why Potter had insisted on sleeping through Draco's callings in the morning.

"So, did Harry really decide to skip today?" Granger said in a hushed voice when they were both sitting together in their joined class, hours after breakfast.

"It definitely seems like it. He was sleeping and when I tried to wake him up, he just wouldn't respond." Draco said, opening his books to take notes for their class.

"That's really strange of him, though." She insisted.

"Yes, well, Potter could as well be sick and we wouldn't know. He's kind of bipolar." Draco huffed. It did piss him off extremely when Potter would go from happy to extremely silent and then back to happy. It happened quite often during the past week, and it was messing with Draco's head. He just didn't know what was wrong, and it definitely did worry him but also anger him.

"Alright, but when you get back to the dorm, check up on him for me? I'd be grateful." Granger pleaded.

"I'll do my best." Draco said. "But no promises." He warned.

"You're not so bad, Malfoy." Granger said, nodding in appreciation.

"You can call me Draco, if you want. You're not that bad yourself." He said, nodding at her in acknowledgement.

"And you can call me Hermione then. And I think it'd be best if you called Harry by his first name as well, he would like that." She said with a sympathetic smile.

"I'll see what I can do about that as well." He replied and scribbled down on his notebook what the professor had just started saying about powerful charms.

* * *

After a long and exhausting day of classes, Draco returned to his room, expecting to find Harry there. He didn't check in the bed, heading for the bathroom to take a shower; eighth year privileges.

He stepped under the warm shower head, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He started washing himself, feeling his body relax under the warmth, his worries fading away with the help of his surroundings.

Feeling utterly relaxed, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and passing his fingers through his hair, walking out in the room again.

"Eighth year privileges." He said to himself, loving the en suite bathroom that had come along with their dorm room.

Only then he noticed that Harry's bed was empty. The curtains were drawn back halfway, as if he had pushed them open hurriedly. The bed was messy, and the pillows were scattered around, tangled up with the bed sheets and covers.

"Seems like he was in a rush..." He mumbled.

He went towards his own bed, sitting down and drying off his hair by grabbing his wand and spelling it dry.

He took a moment to look at his wand and smiled absently. He had missed using his own wand.

After the war, Harry had had the decency to mail him his wand back as soon as the war ended. Maybe that was also another reason that Harry was so interested in becoming friends with him. Draco hoped that this sudden need for Harry to befriend him wasn't due to his hero complex that he just couldn't get rid of. Honestly, Draco could hear him saying it in his own words. "_What's done is done, I saved your life and I actually don't think you're bad. I think you'll need your wand back."_

The letter he'd included was short, and explaining how he didn't blame him for what he'd done, saying he thought he wanted his wand back. Draco had actually been grateful but never told Potter a single thank you. Maybe he'd do that sometime.

Draco snapped at himself. "Stop thinking about him." He told himself, cursing his brain for starting to care so much for Potter.

He groaned and shoved the towel at the end of his bed, accio'ing a pair of boxers and wearing them, soon falling asleep.

It wasn't a few hours later that Draco woke up in a heap of sweat, panting and feeling incredibly cold.

He had just experienced one of the worst nightmares he could ever possibly have.

_Voldemort was leaning over him, asking him questions. Draco was lying on a wooden floor, tears on his cheeks. His body was jerking on the ground, shaking with the shock of the previous curse that had been thrown at him._

_"Why is it that you fail to find a way to kill him? Why do you have to be such a disgrace to your family, Draco? You know your mother will die if you don't take this task seriously."_

_"I'm s-sorry, my lord.." Draco was crying but all he got was a glare from Voldemort before he shook his head at another person, nodding lightly._

_"Crucio!" a female voice screamed, and Draco's body was set on fire, feeling as if all of his organs were going to get ripped out, wanting to curl into a ball from the immense pain that the curse sent to his body._

_"P-Please!" he was gasping. "Please let me try again!" he was begging with tears._

_"You're weak, boy. You still haven't repaired the Vanishing Cabinet, and your attempts of killing him are useless. You only got other meaningless people to suffer for your mistakes. How does that feel?" Voldemort said in a cold voice, not caring at all for the people that had taken Draco's curses by accident._

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll fix it, I'll kill him, I will!" Draco sobbed, and trashed on the floor as another curse hit him, sending him over his pain tolerance and making him scream and cry harder than before._

_"Bella, that's enough." Voldemort warned._

_The woman gave a pout and lowered her wand. "You're a disgrace to our family, nephew." She hissed and left._

Draco had woken up almost screaming from that nightmare. It still haunted him, to this day. It wasn't just a dream. It had happened when Draco's cursed necklace sent Katie Bell to the hospital wing and when the poisoned drink sent Ron Weasley also to the hospital wing. He'd spend days feeling horrible about what he was doing, and when the Death Eaters found out, they tortured him; threatened to kill his mother, and him as well, if he dared to fail them again. They had used so many dark magic on him that Draco's spells felt weak in comparison.

Draco shuddered and hugged his knees to his chest, sobbing quietly. His whole body was shaking. He didn't know whether he'd gotten cursed, or whether the Dark Lord himself had decided to torture his mind by playing the same nightmare, over and over, adding more to it as it went, or if his mind was just being paranoid.

He decided he needed to walk it off, take a stroll around the castle.

He hung his legs on the side of his bed, slowly lifting himself and tiptoeing to his drawer, searching for some of his few muggle clothes. He put on a t-shirt and some sweatpants, praying to Merlin that nobody saw him dressed like that.

He left the room quietly and started walking around the corridors, keeping his eyes and ears open. He needed a safe place to sit and think. He thought of the Astronomy Tower but it was just too much for him to go back to; yet.

He walked around many corridors, until at one turn he heard keys, and footsteps. Draco panicked. It was Filch and if he found him outside, he'd send him to McGonagall and get him in detention.

Draco cursed under his breath and ducked into the first bathroom he found.

He closed the door behind him, backing up against it. He covered his mouth with his hand, listening to the footsteps as they got more distant and then vanished in the silence of the night, a faint echo bouncing off the walls. He sighed and slid down on the floor, releasing his mouth with a soft puff of breath forming in front of him. He looked around him, examining the bathroom.

He was in one of the old bathrooms that weren't used as much. He scrambled up to his feet again and walked around a bit, soon noticing a trail of blood coming out from under one of the stalls.

"Hello?" he called, his heartbeat increasing. He got no answer.

He prepared himself mentally for what could possibly be in the stall as he stalked towards it. Taking a deep breath, he got his wand out and forced himself into the stall, only to find what he wouldn't have expected to find even in a million years.

In front of him was none other than Harry Potter, lying unconscious on the floor, blood coming out from somewhere on him.

"Fucking hell." Draco gasped and searched for Harry's neck, checking his pulse; he was still alive.

Draco plucked up the courage to wrap his arms around the male's small figure, lifting him in his arms and taking him out of there. He started walking fast, heading to the hospital wing as fast as he could. Midway through it he used a spell to make Potter weigh less in his arms so that he could run easily; his feet moved faster as he ran to Madam Pomfrey.

"Madam Pomfrey, help! Open up! There's an emergency!" he yelled, banging on the door mercilessly, not caring if it was five am in the morning.

"Alright, what's the fuss?" a sleepy female voice greeted him as soon as the door opened. "Oh dear!" she gasped as soon as she realized what happened and who Draco was holding.

"Do something, he's bleeding!" Draco barked at her, only realising he'd been shaking.

"Alright, alright, put him on a bed, I'll get someone." she said, stepping aside for him.

Draco nodded, following her instructions and placing Potter gently on the bed. He watched the witch going off, probably to send a message to wake up the headmistress.

"Step away, I've called for help. I'll see what I can do." She said as she returned back to the room a few minutes later.

* * *

Draco was told to leave, but he stayed. He'd pretended to walk off but actually hid behind one of the closest beds, watching as they drew the curtains around Potter's bed. McGonagall and some other nurses arrived, making a fuss over Harry, mumbling and talking in hushed voices. Soon the mediwitch was left alone with the headmistress.

"Poppy, have you checked what caused it? Did he get attacked by something?" McGonagall was asking.

"It was self-inflicted. There seems to be a lot of scarring and healing up with magic. His arms and his thighs show repetitive slashes of the flesh that were then healed up with dittany. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he stole some from Severus's apothecary or had help from Mrs. Sprout." She muttered.

"You mean Potter has been self-harming? For how long?" McGonagall said quietly, her voice filled with worry.

"I'd say it's been happening for months now. I can't be sure, though. But he definitely caused this to himself." She confirmed.

"Oh dear... That poor boy..." McGonagall mumbled.

"If Mr. Malfoy hadn't brought him in, Mr. Potter would've been dead. He opened up a lot of wounds, probably unaware that he would lose control of the blood flow because of the dittany's powers. He would've bled to death if he hadn't been found."

"Poppy, can you help him?" McGonagall asked.

"I'll do my best to heal all of his wounds and renew his skin on the areas he hurt. The dittany has already done most of the work, but a few potions will help him gain his strength back as well. He's been terribly undernourished as well, he'll need proper food to get back on track. We'll leave him to rest for a few days, and see how he'll do. I'll give him some potions as soon as he wakes up, as well as food." She promised.

"He's in good hands." McGonagall said, placing her hand on the witch's shoulder, nodding in gratefulness.

Draco had heard enough of them. He leaned back against the wall, shaking. His clothes had blood on them, and he finally realized what he couldn't have seen all along, simply because he never was friends with Harry.

Potter wasn't just too eager to make Draco feel wanted after all the hate towards Slytherin.

"_Malfoy, want to join us for lunch?"  
_  
Potter just wanted to feel wanted and accepted after his purpose as the saviour had ended.

"_I just thought you just needed some company, or someone to be friends with."_

For all Draco knew he was probably blaming himself for what happened, for letting Voldemort kill all those people as well.

"_What's done is done, I saved your life and I actually don't think you're bad."_

Draco suddenly felt the urge to vomit and so he ran out, searching for a bathroom. He made it just in time, vomiting loudly into a sink and feeling his insides burning. He just couldn't believe it.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Ooh, a lot of mystery there, hmm? Sorry if this was too much to take in, I promise it will eventually lighten up, at some point. **

Also, note: Undernourished = not getting adequate food. I didn't want to use Anorexic seeing as I don't know much about this certain illness and my knowledge of it wouldn't be enough to add up to Harry's part that I'm writing for the next chapter, plus I feel like Depression is enough for him and there's different types of anorexia, so I wouldn't want to offend anybody by stating it that way. I could've used malnourished as well, but at the time I couldn't remember the word, so apologies. If it bugs you, I can change it.

**Thanks for reading x Again, sorry for the delay.**

**~Venustus**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: So, hey. I finally finished Chapter 3. It turned out very close to what I'd wanted, and I'm actually for the first time pleased with how my story is going so far.**_

_**READ: ***Warnings: Self-harm, self loathing/self-hate, and a bit of angst, I think. If you are triggered by self-harm, I suggest you stop reading this story. If you think you can handle it, go ahead, by all means. Thank you for understanding. ********_

_**A/N: So, I won't keep you long. I just want to apologize because writing this story is really difficult, plus I may have some small mistakes, either on grammar or spelling that slipped my eye, since my Beta hasn't replied to me and I'm worried for them. Still, I felt that I had delayed this chapter too much and since I couldn't get hold of my Beta, I'm publishing this. If you notice small changes along the way is because I'll come back and edit things if I notice something odd looking. Have fun reading.**_

_**Words (for this chapter): ~5,800**_

_**Enjoy!**_  
_**~Venustus**_

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

The beam of light in the bathroom of the third floor was dim, and water was rhythmically dripping from a tap into one of the rusty sinks, adding up to the dark atmosphere of the late night. Harry had been sitting on the floor of one of the stalls, having locked himself in, making as less noise as possible. He was shaking and holding a sharp, silver blade in his hand, his head clouded with memories. There was a light breeze against Harry's skin, making him shiver. He could feel the tears that were running down his face, wetting his cheeks, but he didn't care about them. He took a sharp breath as he slid the blade one more time across his skin, his eyes falling closed.

It had been the fourth time this week. Since his return, everyone was always following him, seeming star-struck by the wonder-boy, the boy who lived, their hero. Harry had put on a lovely mask with which he dealt with this, accepting to sign autographs and have pictures be taken and questions be answered. After all, that's what he was meant to be, that was what people knew him for. The savior of the wizengamont would never disappoint the crowds that swarmed around him. He'd always remain just a crowd pleaser, or so he thought.

But this week had been too much for Harry. And it was the fourth time he was hiding in that stall. He'd been sitting on the floor for what seemed like days now. He stopped dragging the blade across his thighs, pulling his jeans up and cuddling his legs to his chest like a child. He then stuck out in front of him both of his hands, watching in fascination as he slashed them open as well and more blood dripped on the floor, not caring about the burn on his legs.

"I'll heal it… later…" he whispered, ignoring the pain. His mind wandered to Teddy and Andromeda, wondering if they were alright at Andromeda's house, wishing he could stop disappointing them, wishing he could stop this. He shook his head, placing the blade in his pocket and leaning back on the wall, tugging down weakly on the sleeves of his shirt to cover his arms. "Later…" he repeated to himself as he closed his eyes, sighing.

Everything soon went pitch black, his body going numb, a warm feeling spreading across his thighs and making his jeans wet. The scent of copper was the last bit of this memory, but he couldn't exactly place why the bathroom smelled like copper all of a sudden. He smiled crookedly before fainting, having realized what the copper smell was from; blood.

* * *

When he woke up again he wasn't really sure if he was awake. He felt like he was boneless and everything was really bright. He squinted at the brightness, trying to figure out where he was but soon realized he had been there before.

A pensieve was waiting for him a few meters away, making him curious as to what he was going to see. He walked closer, slow at first but then realized he was seeing his past. It was all a fumble of memories, tangled up together but before he knew it he got sucked in, everything developing in front of him.

* * *

_The sixteen year old Harry was lying on his bed, listening to Ron's snoring. He'd only recently snuck into the Common Room and entered the sixth year dorm room, without the other three boys noticing that Harry had been out for almost all night. It was eventful, and successful, so he wouldn't complain. Plus, Ron and Hermione knew what it was for; Dumbledore._

_He'd just returned from an impromptu meeting at Dumbledore's office, and his brain was buzzing._

_Horcruxes._

_That word had a dark ring to itself, even more so when Dumbledore explained to him that their creation required killing; and that Voldemort had probably made more than just one._

_In order to obtain all this knowledge though, Harry had been through a lot. He'd drank Felix Felicis after dinner, having it all planned out with Ron and Hermione on how he'd go and convince Slughorn to give him his memory and knowing exactly where to find him. But since Harry's instincts told him otherwise, he decided visiting Hagrid was a better idea, even if it was forbidden to go out of the castle during the night, and even if he was still a sixth year student. He just had to go._

_On his way there he found Slughorn and went for a visit at Hagrid's, who was mourning the loss of Aragog, his beloved acromantula. Harry had tried so hard not to make any foolish moves during the burying of Aragog and waited until Hagrid invited Slughorn and Harry for a drink in his hut._

_What followed was Hagrid and Slughorn getting very drunk and Harry finally convincing Slughorn that if he gave him the memory his mother's life wouldn't have been lost in vain, knowing how much his mom meant to Slughorn during her student years._

_Harry still couldn't wrap his head around it, even if two hours had already passed. Dumbledore had poured the memory into the Pensieve, and during it Harry wasn't sure if he heard right or not. As soon as they got out of it, Dumbledore explained to him, telling him he'd had a suspicion after finding Tom Riddle's diary._

_It never occurred to Harry that the diary he'd found in the second year was used to bind a piece of Voldemort's soul to it, making him immortal. It never occurred to him that Voldemort could achieve to get that much power, and if he were to be honest, it scared him._

_A few months after that enlightening scene of memories from Slughorn, Dumbledore discovered the second Horcrux, and soon the third one. But when Harry and Dumbledore made it back to the school, Death Eaters had invaded the castle and Dumbledore died at the hand of none other than Severus Snape._

* * *

_Harry was camping with Ron and Hermione, having only recently destroyed the original third horcrux, still bickering at each other to figure out the fourth one._

_As the days went by, Harry became more and more frustrated at himself. He hated sitting around and doing nothing, but Hermione convinced him every time that it was for the best if they figured how to get to the fourth one instead of going out and probably getting killed._

_He knew he had to stay alive. Everything depended on him, and he felt like he could do it. He had everything he needed and as soon as he was down to the last one, he could finish Voldemort once and for all._

_That was the plan. And then, nobody would have to go at war. No more people would have to die. No more people would listen to the news in fear of hearing their loved one's names in the deceased section of the few valid radio shows that were held._

_He had watched Ron pale every time they said a similar sounding name, seeing the relief in his eyes as another listing went by and nobody from his family was mentioned._

_He'd gotten in a fight with him over it a long time ago, when the third Horcrux wasn't destroyed. How Harry had nobody to call family. How Harry would never understand what it meant. Ron had been right, Harry would never know how it felt to be loved by family, but he always knew what it felt to be afraid of losing all the people he cared for._

_Thankfully that was in the past. And now they had the sword of Godric Gryffindor, which was a great confidence boost for the three of them._

_But still, the sting of death was too raw, and the feeling Harry got in his stomach wasn't from hunger or discomfort. It was from death itself._

* * *

_Five figures landed face-first on the carpet covering the corridor of the Seventh floor, coughing up smoke and blowing out small fire patches off of their clothes as a set of wooden doors shut closed behind them._

_"We made it…" Hermione gasped, coughing up some dust and rubbing her eyes._

_"Where's the diadem?" Harry shouted, searching around on the floor. "Did it stay in the room?" he asked in panic._

_Ron nodded his response. "Yeah, it did, mate. It's gone." He said._

_"Potter, what the fuck?!" An angry Malfoy exclaimed, shoving Harry away from him._

_"I couldn't let you die, you prick!" Harry exclaimed, looking at the blond. He'd just saved the prat's life, that's all he was getting?_

_"I can't be seen with you lot. They'll kill us all. Let's go!" Malfoy said in panic, scrambling to his feet and pulling Goyle with him, forgetting for a second that Crabbe was dead._

_Harry huffed at the blond, getting to his feet and watching the two Slytherins run away, helping Ron and Hermione up._

* * *

_"Alright, all that's left is the snake. I have to visit Dumbledore's office for a minute to see Snape's memories, go on without me. I'll meet you after. Make sure the snake gets killed." Harry said, hugging both his best friends._

_"Stay alive." Hermione said as she hugged him tight. Ron gave him a nod and pulled Hermione away, letting him go._

_"I will." He promised to them, walking off slowly. He made his way to Dumbledore's office, sighing as the war had started quieting down. After all, Voldemort had set a time limit, during which Harry had to go meet him and surrender in the Forbidden Forrest. As if he would._

_He walked past broken walls and dead bodies that he avoided looking at, making his way certainly through the halls, soon reaching the gargoyle entrance._

_It was crashed and thrown to the side, broken and with the gargoyle ruined._

_"Reparo." He whispered and swished his wand, wincing when it did nothing more but glue the pieces back together, leaving the statue in place. He'd come back to that after he visited Dumbledore's office._

_He went up the circular staircase, casting a spell to make it work in order to gain access to the headmaster's office. He stepped off the stairs, entering silently into the room and closing his eyes for a second, catching his breath and trying not to be overwhelmed._

_He saw Dumbledore's portrait on the wall, and smiled. "Hello sir." He said with a small nod._

_"Harry, what a lovely surprise." Dumbledore responded from his painting._

_"Sir… Professor Snape gave me a vial earlier… With some of his memories. Should I watch them?" he asked the former headmaster._

_"Yes, Harry, you should." Dumbledore replied._

_Harry nodded and went up to the Pensieve, taking out the small vial with the silver lines floating in it. He looked at them for a moment before unplugging the vial and pouring the memories into the sink-like object. He dipped his head in the water and waited._

_Scenes unfolded before him. Snape and his mother as kids, casting magic, and his aunt Petunia interrupting them and calling them freaks. Then switching to his mother's first year at Hogwarts and her meeting his father, and then switching to Snape getting bullied by his father in third year; and then to the year where Lily found out that Snape had the mark._

_The images were going too quick for Harry but not quick enough for him to be unable to realize that Snape hadn't wanted the mark. He kept watching as more and more scenes unraveled before his eyes._

_He stayed longer at one particular memory. Snape was standing on the edge of a hillside, and Dumbledore was there._

_"I – I come with a warning – no, a request – please…" Snape was struggling to say, his figure seeming to be shaking._

_"What request could a Death Eater make of me?" Dumbledore replied in a cold voice. Harry could swear he'd never heard Dumbledore sound so unfriendly and so cold._

_"The prophecy… the prediction... Trelawney…" Snape stammered again_

_"Ah, yes. How much did you tell to Lord Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked._

_"Everything! Everything I heard!" said Snape. "But… For that reason I'm here, making this request. He thinks it's about Lily Evans. He thinks it's about Lily!"_

_"The prophecy did not speak of a woman, Severus." Dumbledore said sternly._

_"You know what I mean! He thinks it's her son, he's going to hunt her down!" Snape exclaimed._

_"Well, surely, Lord Voldemort would show mercy if you asked? Could you not exchange the mother for the son?"_

_"I asked…" Snape replied._

_"You disgust me." Dumbledore said coldly again._

_"Please, take them into hiding then. Keep her - them. Keep them safe." Snape replied. It was obvious the man was losing his composure by now._

_"It seems I can't do that, Severus. They've put their trust into the wrong person." Dumbledore said._

_That was all Harry could take from that scene, and so he tried his best to skip to the next memory as fast as he could. But he didn't know the next one would be worse._

_Snape and Dumbledore of the memory were now sitting in Dumbledore's office, and Dumbledore's hand was black. This memory was recent, when Dumbledore almost lost his hand due to the curse on Gaunt's ring._

_"There will come a time, Severus, after my death – do not argue and do not interrupt! There will come a time where Lord Voldemort will seem to fear for the life of his snake." Dumbledore was saying._

_"Nagini? Why?" Snape asked._

_"That's between me and Harry, Severus. When that time comes, I need you to tell him." He continued._

_"Tell him what?" the other man asked._

_"Tell him that on the night Voldemort killed his parents, when Lily cast her body in front of the killing curse, it rebounded against him, causing a fragment of his soul to detach from his body and landing on the only thing alive in the room, which was Harry." Dumbledore explained._

_"So you're saying…" Snape muttered._

_"Yes. A part of Voldemort lives within Harry, that's why he has the ability to speak to snakes and to see the things Voldemort sees and to be able to learn spells quicker and stronger than other students his age. And when the time comes of him to become protective of the snake, Harry must confront him. Voldemort has to be the one to kill Harry, in order to kill the piece of Voldemort living inside him. Harry has to die, and he needs to be completely agreeing to it. He can't fight back, or it won't be the same. He needs to die by the hand of Lord Voldemort." Dumbledore said._

_Harry kept watching the memory intensely, not understanding why this was happening._

_"So you've kept him alive… All this time you've kept him alive so he could die at the proper moment?" Snape asked in awe._

_"Don't be so surprised, Severus, you're the one who heard the prophecy first. Neither can live while the other one survives." Dumbledore said._

_"So, what, you've just been raising him like a pig for slaughter?" Snape demanded._

_"Severus, the boy must die. And you must be the one to tell him." Dumbledore said again._

_Harry backed away, exiting the memories and pulling his head out of the water, not wanting to hear anymore. He fell back on the rug, gasping for air and backing away from the Pensieve, horror filling him._

_He looked around the room, noticing that Dumbledore had left his portrait, trying to figure out what to do._

_"I have to die." Harry mumbled in awe. "I have to be killed by him." He breathed, realization hitting him. "I can't… Who will save all these people, who will stop this war…?" he asked, not wanting an answer. "I can't just leave them." He whispered._

_He couldn't just leave everyone else behind while he got a silent and easy death. He couldn't just go and die. But, something told him that he had to. For some reason, he had to. There was no other way he could get rid of Voldemort, and eventually someone would kill him._

_He took slow and trembling steps, leading himself out of the office and going down the staircase, stepping over the fallen gargoyle statue and slowly making his way to the grand staircase. He slowly went down the stairs, realizing how quiet it suddenly was. The war seemed to have stopped in that moment, and it felt as if the war never happened. Voldemort had personally given him a deadline. He could go to the Forrest and end it then and now._

_He fought very hard in his mind as he made his way out, knowing most people would be gathered around the dead, in the Great Hall. He exited the castle in complete privacy, and soon got into the Forbidden Forrest._

_"I'm ready to die." He told himself, edging his death more and more._

_It all happened so fast that Harry didn't know if it was real or not._

* * *

_Cheering and fireworks were taking place the next morning. The light of the dawn was the final reassurement that the war had ended. Harry had come back from the dead, Voldemort had been defeated and all the Death Eaters had left the school._

_It felt right and peaceful to everyone besides Harry. Harry could only feel empty. He wasn't sure if he had really defeated Voldemort, or if he'd lost half himself on the way. Even though he still had his scar and his ability to speak parseltongue, he found it very strange to be celebrating. He just couldn't do it. At least now he knew he'd completed the task they wanted him to complete, which was to kill Voldemort._

_He was happy about saving everyone, even though something still felt wrong. So wrong. He'd killed a man, after all. And he'd been the reason all the others had died. He'd been the reason that Teddy had no parents. He'd been the reason that George had lost his twin. If only he had stopped it earlier. If only he had found the Horcruxes earlier, if only he hadn't just wasted so much time on sitting around and doing nothing. He clenched his fists, biting his lip and closing his eyes, backing away from the crowd. It was too much, they were all reaching out to touch him, to congratulate him, to ask how it happened. Harry's head was throbbing, and more and more people came closing around him, eagerly wanting answers._

_"Harry?" a voice called him and he turned around, seeing Luna._

_"Hey Luna." He said softly, his fists unclenching slightly._

_"You seem like you could use some air. Go on, I'll distract them from you." She smiled gently and Harry could only nod and mouth a thank you at her before making his escape._

_"Oh look over there!" she exclaimed and Harry was grateful that the crowd let him go, running away quickly._

* * *

_Harry was staying at Grimmauld Place the first week after the war. He felt so alone, and he had not answered any firecalls nor the door for that week. He refused to eat, his eyes had bags under them and his face was unshaved, rough, and pale._

_He wasn't quite sure how he should feel. People still celebrated that the war was over, but Harry still didn't feel like it was something worth celebrating._

_He just felt like he didn't belong. He felt defeated, even though he'd won._

_It had been raining for three days now, but Harry saw no difference. He was still sad, still uncertain, still feeling like he needed to hide._

_He couldn't stop staring at the knives that week. His gaze lingered on them for hours, days even, and he always thought what it would be like if he stabbed himself and ended it right there._

_At some point he picked up a knife and dragged it across his left hand, holding the knife steadily with his right. He stared as the blood started pouring out, thinking that if he did that more he would hurt the people he cared for. But did they care for him? All they asked was how he did it. All they said was good job Harry. All they wanted from him was for him to be happy that he ended the war._

_He felt dull, as if coming back wasn't really him coming back. He didn't feel alive anymore, anyway._

_"Would it matter if I killed myself? I didn't want to return from King's Cross. I wanted to stay." He told himself._

_"No, I would hurt them. I would hurt Teddy. He less than one month old and he's already an orphan. A victim of this war. Of the war I could've stopped before all of this happened." He hissed and clenched his hand around the handle of the knife he was holding._

_He cut his wrist one more time, making a second line that was parallel to the first one. He looked at them for a while before shaking his head and dropping the knife on the floor, grabbing his wand and healing his hand. "I'll hurt them, and I can't do that. Not to Teddy, at least…" he whispered to himself and covered his hand._

_He didn't touch the knives for a few days._

* * *

_Harry was sat on a big rocking chair, a small baby cradled in his arms._

_"I'm so glad you came for a visit, Harry. It's been a very eventful summer, hasn't it?" Andromeda asked softly as she came in the living room, carrying a tray with tea and biscuits._

_"It definitely has…" Harry muttered, offering a small smile that was everything but happy, and turning his gaze back to Teddy. The little boy was sleeping, his hair only a small tuft of brown, and his hands clenched in small fists protectively resting against his chest. Harry slowly reached out to grab his tea, swallowing with difficulty. Ever since the end he'd lost his appetite. Well, more than his appetite, but Andromeda didn't need to know that._

_"Harry, I've been thinking..." The woman said in a soft tone._

_He looked up at her, nodding for her to continue._

_"What would you say if I offered you to stay here? You see, it's really difficult to raise Teddy alone, and you're the only person who can keep him calm after…." She said, leaving her sentence unfinished._

_"I… Andromeda, I'd love to, but… I've still got a lot to fix. I need to help people who survived the war, and I need to go back to Hogwarts, and help fix the castle so the next year can start and I can graduate. I'd love to move in here, if it's possible, next summer. When everything's settled… Alright?" he gulped with a bit of hesitation._

_Andromeda nodded slowly, smiling at him. "I understand." She said. "I'd be glad to have you around, dear. You can visit any time…-" she said, but Harry cut her off._

_"I'll visit as much as I can, I promise. I'll be there for Teddy, as his godfather." He replied, cuddling Teddy closer to him._

_Andromeda picked up a biscuit and bit into it, looking at the two of them. Teddy was only four months old and it was the end of July already. She understood way too much about Harry, but she'd never say anything about the fact. She was just glad that he didn't go completely insane after he had ended the war. She knew he had a kind heart inside him._

_"I better get going. I have a court to attend to in a week, I need to get ready for it." Harry whispered since Teddy was still asleep, but as he tried to move Teddy in his arms in order to get up Teddy opened his eyes and started whining softly. Harry cradled him close to his chest and pressed his head softly on Teddy's, humming a soothing rhythm that he didn't even know how he had come to learn. Soon the baby relaxed again and Harry stepped over to Andromeda, handing him to her._

_"I'll visit after the court, next week. If you want, I could stay the weekend." Harry offered._

_Andromeda hummed. "That'd be very nice of you, Harry. I'll be glad to see you then." She said and waved goodbye at him as he stepped in the floo._

* * *

_Harry was sat on a wooden seat, facing the circular auditorium in which the hearing of Draco Malfoy was held. Harry was there as a witness, to speak in favor of the blond._

_The hearing was quick. Even though Malfoy said nothing to ease himself off the charges, when it came to Harry's speaking in favor, everybody saw that really the Malfoy heir had no reason to be put in jail. Harry had decided to tell them about how Malfoy had not given him away when he was at the hands of Deatheaters, managing to save him, and then he had told them other small things that Malfoy had done for him that even Malfoy didn't even remember._

_After all they'd been through, Harry had been thinking of Malfoy constantly. Wondering how he was doing, thinking what would happen if he forgave him. And he finally did, and that's how he was able to speak in favor of him that day. He'd spent countless days thinking of Malfoy, and at some point he mailed him back his wand because it was useless to Harry._

_When the court was over, the press had gathered around Harry, shoving microphones and recorders in his face, trying to get a reason why Malfoy was let go with only a year of social service and had been allowed to return to Hogwarts. Harry didn't even bother trying to escape, he just let them all come at him, answering that he knew that people deserved a second chance and that he wouldn't say anything more. With a turn on the spot he was gone, disapparating away. After all, he'd promised Andromeda._

* * *

_Harry last memory included him pulling on his sleeves as he read a story to a four month Teddy who kept trying to figure out why Harry did that._

_"You never stop, do you, little cub?" Harry sighed and pulled his sleeve down once more, grabbing both of Teddy's small hands in his own, nuzzling his face in Teddy's hair and showing him the moving pictures on the book he'd brought for him._

_The two of them were sitting on a double bed with plaid red bed sheets, and a brown stuffed bear was shoved aside as Teddy had been too busy playing with Harry's sleeves. Even if Teddy couldn't understand, Harry still winced every time that Teddy did that, not wanting the baby or anyone to see the scars on his arms._

_He'd been feeling more than just down for a long time now. It'd already been three months since the war, and school was starting soon, so Harry had decided to stay around at Andromeda's for a week before going back, wanting to spend some time with Teddy._

_Whilst he was there, he couldn't be sad. Teddy always relaxed him. Maybe because he was small and didn't talk yet or maybe because he didn't ask questions and he didn't expect anything more than hugs and moving pictures on books. Life would be so much easier if Harry could just stay with Teddy forever, nursing him in this state, and not worrying about hurting him. But he couldn't._

_Truth was that he had stopped harming himself for the week that he was there. It was soon now that he'd have to go, but he didn't cry as he did every other night at Grimmauld place. He didn't feel the need to cut because Andromeda was kind enough to not ask questions about Voldemort, or not ask how he was doing. She knew how he was doing, and Harry was thankful that she kept quiet about it._

_He never wanted to hurt anyone else anymore. He knew that, after Voldemort had died, along with the piece that was living inside Harry, he would never be the same. He knew that what he did was shameful, disgusting, wrong. He shouldn't be slitting his arms open at every chance he got, but his whole existence was filled with the need of doing it, the addiction of the feeling. He also did his best to heal them, but his wand soon became useless. He relied on dittany so much that he'd learnt a wandless way to make it for himself without needing to steal or ask for it._

_But he just couldn't stop. Every night he would blame himself, and nightmares would fill his head, often making him scream and struggle in his sleep, greeting him with a pool of sweat on his back at three AM. Every night he would hear voices of the people who died, or of him. Every night the voices would haunt him and he'd fall apart and cut open his flesh._

_Harry couldn't stop it. He didn't have any motive anymore. Nobody to fight against, nobody to fear; he just had himself. He just had the voices that filled his head, blaming him, and mocking him for being so weak and useless after the war. He couldn't stop feeling hopeless and miserable all the time._

_He knew that he was nothing anymore. He was nothing but the hero who saved them all. But Harry didn't think of himself that way. He had sacrificed too many people, and just the thought of that haunted him. It haunted him how he was the only family that would be left for Teddy if anything happened to Andromeda. It haunted him how he needed to slit his wrists in order to feel alive. It haunted him how he had become so broken after seeing death and coming back._

_For him, the biggest mistake was coming back. If he hadn't come back, he wouldn't be feeling all of this, but he still wanted to protect everyone, he still wanted to keep people happy._

_If he wasn't so attached to Teddy and if he didn't want to hurt everyone who loved him, he would've killed himself right after the battle. But he knew that it wouldn't matter if he died because everyone would be hurt, and he'd promised that he wouldn't let anyone else get hurt after the war. _

_He got shaken back into reality as Teddy tugged on his sweater, nuzzling against his chest. He sighed and smiled brokenly, his eyes watering. "I can't die because of you, little cub. Because I'd hurt you. I'd hurt my friends, and the Weasleys and Andromeda… I can't die so I slit my wrists and thighs. I'm pathetic…" he whispered, silently crying, cuddling Teddy tight against his chest and leaving the book down. He moved to lie back on the bed and let the baby sleep next to him as he looked at the ceiling, feeling emptier than ever. He'd admitted it to himself before, and he knew he would again, but it didn't help knowing. It only made him seem and feel more pathetic. His jaw clenched but soon he felt a small fist curling around his finger and he cursed under his breath, closing his eyes and forcing himself to sleep. He had to leave the next morning.  
_

* * *

Harry slowly opened his eyes, groaning silently. He was in a hospital bed.

"Fuck…" he hissed, grimacing as he felt a stinging pain on his legs. He lifted the covers and saw two tight bandages on his thighs, accompanied by two on his arms.

"They found me out, then." He said bitterly, laying back again and staring blankly at the ceiling.

Two pairs of footsteps were heard and Harry closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep as the two people reached the bed.

"He still hasn't woken up?" a worried female voice asked.

"No, dear, but you can sit here and wait for him to wake up." Another female voice said.

The first voice hummed in agreement and Harry felt a hand touching his own, and a soft sob following after.

"Oh Harry…"

'Oh Harry' was a usual thing people said to him. Oh poor Harry. Poor and broken Harry who had nothing left anymore. They didn't know anything about him, what did they want from him? He winced at his thoughts and swallowed hard. They cared. And he'd promised he wouldn't hurt anyone anymore. A bit tough to do that when he was feeling like absolutely nothing could save him from life, but at least he was trying; he was trying by not killing himself, for one.

Harry opened his eyes and kept staring at the ceiling. In the corner of his eye he caught bushy hair; Hermione.

She talked to him, told him all those nice and comforting things, asking, begging, pleading, wanting answers to her questions. She just wouldn't stop asking, and he kept staring at the ceiling, not saying a word, not moving an inch. He didn't have any strength left.

"Please… _Please_, Harry, talk to me…" she begged.

Harry just ignored her. He looked at the ceiling as if his life depended on it. He didn't want to see anyone.

Soon he pulled his hand from Hermione's grip and turned his back to her, pulling the blankets over his head and staring at the darkness that formed inside the blankets. He just didn't want anyone else asking. They always asked. They always worried. Harry could never give an answer to them because they always, always worried._ 'Are you eating well?' 'Are you okay?' 'What's wrong?'_

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N: I really hope you liked this chapter and that it clears out a bit, I know it's really moving fast and all but I needed to include as much as possible, whilst following the canon, so Idk if it turned out good or not. Please let me know with a review? That'd be great 3**

**As always, read and review, and see you soon.**  
**~ Venustus**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Hello guys and girls c: I am finally finsihed with Chapter 4, and oh my god, it was probably the hardest chapter I've had to write so far. I'm still very skeptical over it all, but I do hope you enjoy. Your support means so much to me, honestly. **_

_**Warning(s): Mentions of self-harm, mentions of scars. Nothing too heavy, but just in case, I'm adding a warning.**_

_**Words (for this chapter): ~3.100**_

_**Read and Review!**_

* * *

A few hours had passed since Harry had woken up and he was finally left alone. Hermione had kept him company and he assured her with a tired and fake smile that he was alright. It was obviously a lie, but he needed to be left alone, and it was the only way to get her out of the room.

As soon as the curtains were once again surrounding him and nobody else was around, he reached for his glass of water and ignored the medicine he was supposed to take. Pills and vitamins wouldn't make him feel better, even if everyone else said they would. He also refused to touch the plate of food that Madam Pomfrey had brought. He wasn't pressured into doing anything, so that was good.

He started thinking again. He closed his eyes and got lost into another spiral of memories which seemed stupid.

_He could remember that time after the trial, when Malfoy had come up to him, thanking him for helping him out with his trial. He had actually gotten a proper thank you that time, and he was glad to see that Malfoy did have a soft side to himself. Plus, he owed Harry his life, so really, he could thank him for just that._

_Well, maybe Malfoy didn't display it that much because after a short and brief "thank you" they had both taken their separate ways and had not spoken at all during the summer break._

_But Harry did do a lot of thinking over Malfoy. He was curious, as to why Malfoy had always been in his way. From his first time in the wizarding world, that boy had been after him for almost 7 years now. Which was strange, to say the least._

_Harry was still harming himself but whenever he didn't, he thought of Malfoy, amongst other things. He thought of Malfoy so much that it reminded him of a year prior to this, when he was obsessively stalking him and tracking almost his every move, just on the thought of him being up to something. Still, when Harry didn't get nightmares that made him scream in the middle of the night, on very rare occasions, he would dream of Malfoy. They weren't dreams about the past, but of something made up. His subconscious was telling him how much obsessed he was with Malfoy by making him show up in his dreams._

_But Harry was just being paranoid, as usual. He was just the last person he had seen from Hogwarts, so that's why he saw him so often in his sleep. It was because he missed Hogwarts, and the school life that never seemed to be peaceful. It was because when he looked at the Marauders Map he didn't remember the way he watched Ginny's dot whilst he was camping with Ron and Hermione, but he remembered endless nights of watching Malfoy just pacing in his dorm._

_Ginny was another deal. He had made sure to break up with her when he had seen her during the battle. He knew the timing was horrible, but he had to break up with her._

_He did it in a way that wouldn't hurt her. Though, Ginny was really understanding. She knew all she needed to know about the war, and she knew what it felt like being under the control of Voldemort. She didn't even say anything to him when they broke up. She just nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek before running to a group of fifth years that needed her help. Ginny was always strong like that, and that was what Harry had admired in her the most. Even if the two of them didn't work out, he still considered her a good friend._

_He knew though that those thoughts about Malfoy didn't make him one bit happy, though. It was because the blond had taunted him endlessly during his time at Hogwarts, but when Harry thought of it better, Malfoy was the only one who never treated him like a celebrity. He never treated him like someone who needed to be worshiped, like the hero, because deep down Malfoy didn't believe that Harry was a hero._

_Harry knew why he had been so drawn to Malfoy. And when he sat and thought about it, that was the reason. Because all Harry had ever wanted was to be normal, to be treated with love and to have friends, and to stop being his uncle's and aunt's "freak nephew" or his classmates' and friends' and teachers' "hero". And Malfoy had given him exactly that. He treated him bad enough to keep the fame from getting into Harry's head, even if Malfoy wasn't aware of doing it. Malfoy may've been mean and spitting towards him, but he kept him grounded. _

_He often caught himself wandering back to Malfoy Manor, of how Malfoy had been shaking when Harry broke out of the cell in the basement. How Malfoy had paled when he lied about Harry's identity, and how he had shrunk when his father had told him to fight. Then his thoughts went on to Voldemort, and how he had killed him, and how Harry had died, and gotten back to the real world. And then he would stop thinking, and existing, for a few days._

_It stung. The war, the memories, the faces, the letters from Ron and Mrs Weasley, the visits to Andromeda, the images of a destroyed and burnt Hogwarts, the bright and warm place that King's Cross was when he was dead. It all stung._

_When he went for visits at Andromeda's he would always let his eyes stare out the window a bit longer, he would keep Teddy close to him and he never said no to food from Andromeda. It was from the few times he felt like eating, only because Teddy would look up at him and reach out to grab his shirt as a wordless plea for a bite from his biscuit. He could never resist seeing the look on Teddy's face when he smelled the tea he was drinking, a grimace taking place, making Harry laugh. That was a rare occasion though. Unlike Mrs Weasley, Andromeda was quiet, and didn't bug him to eat. He would've loved to visit the Burrow, but in his current state he could only handle the quiet moments with Andromeda and Teddy. She understood the effect that the war had had on Harry, and they had made a code between them that included silent gestures and eye contact. She knew that Teddy needed to bond with someone else besides her, in case something happened to her, due to her age. Even if she wasn't that old, she still worried of getting sick and not being able to take care of her grandson, but she kept Harry close to Teddy because she saw both of them happy when they were interacting._

* * *

Sometime around afternoon he heard the medi-witch returning to the ward and heading his way. He sighed inwardly and closed his eyes, shifting on the bed and stilling his movements completely.

Madam Pomfrey pulled the curtain open softly and approached his bed from the side he was facing.

"Mr Potter?" she said in a gentle tone.

Harry kept his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep.

The medi-witch sighed as she saw the untouched tray of food at the foot of his bed, along with the pills that were left next to the -now empty- glass of water.

"Mr Potter, you need to eat, and take your medicine. It'll help heal up your wounds." She insisted.

Harry kept his eyes closed but swallowed thickly. "Madam Pomfrey, have you ever treated a patient like me before?" he whispered.

"If you mean someone who has had cuts on their wrists, then yes, I have. But I have not ever been able to understand why this keeps happening to the students of this school." She responded softly.

Harry shifted in the bed, finally opening his eyes. "So, you mean there's more people who do this?" he said, lifting his bandages and showing her the amount of scars that there were on his skin, even though the cuts had been healed up. He still had scars everywhere.

Madam Pomfrey nodded. "I could tell you a lot of stories, young man. You're not the only one suffering. Everyone suffers, at some point in their lives." She explained.

Harry let his head fall back and pulled his hand under the blanket he was covered with. "Madam Pomfrey, I don't think pills and medicine will help me out." He muttered in defeat. He felt tired.

"I suggest you go see a mind-healer, as soon as you're out of here. Don't worry, I'll let you go tomorrow, I'll just need to heal your legs once more, to make sure the wounds won't open again by accident, or on purpose. You will have trouble walking, but they'll heal." She said and turned to walk away. Midway she stopped, turning to look at Harry. "Do eat, it's for your own good."

She left, and Harry was once again alone. _'What do you understand? You've no idea how I feel.' _

He shook the voice out of his head, closing his eyes again. He took a deep breath and placed his arms on his lap, taking off the bandages from everywhere around them. He stared at the clean skin that was left under, only the faint reminder of the scars he could not heal in the first time. He knew that he'd always have scars, but he didn't care.

His heart started beating faster as he kicked off the covers, pushing his trousers down and looking at the white bandages that covered his legs. _'You will have trouble walking, but they'll heal.'_ Madam Pomfrey's voice haunted him as he started struggling with the large bandages. He almost tore them apart in an attempt to free his legs, gasping for breath as he fought to get rid of them. He searched around for his wand, but it was nowhere to be found. He started panicking as the bandages wouldn't untangle from his legs, worry filling his mind. What if he had actually damaged his legs? What if…what if he couldn't fly again? His chest felt heavy and his ears started buzzing and he kept fighting with the bandages on his legs.

"Why won't these stupid things come off?!" he screamed in his panic, gasping for air as his hands started trembling, his eyes blurring with the tears that gathered, his heart beating impossibly fast.

At the same time, Draco Malfoy had entered the Hospital Wing, searching for Harry, and once he heard his sobs he came running down to where he was, gasping when he saw Harry in the state he was.

"P-Potter…" He breathed, staring at the crying Gryffindor who had finally managed to tear apart the bandages on his legs, leaving countless scars on display.

Harry looked up at the sound of his name, his eyes giving away how lost and scared he was before he sucked in a deep breath and realized who was standing across from him.

"What are you doing 'ere?" Harry mumbled, grabbing the covers angrily and covering his exposed thighs, glaring at the bandages that were thrown on the floor and avoiding eye contact with the blond.

"I wanted to come see if you were okay. I found you in the bathroom, unconscious and until they had healed you they wouldn't let me visit." He explained to the Gryffindor, sitting on a chair next to his bed, not looking at him. "How're you holding up, Potter?" he offered.

Harry turned to look at Draco, his eyes still glistening from the tears of before, but the hurt and desperation that Draco saw before weren't there. They had been replaced with blankness, with the mask that even Draco had been fooled by.

"I'm alright." Harry said, averting his gaze as he spoke.

"You don't- Nevermind. When did Pomfrey say you can get out of here? Dorm's not the same with only me in there." Draco muttered in attempt to show friendliness the same way Harry had done the past few weeks.

"Tonight." He lied.

Draco nodded. "Be sure to be all healed up then. Granger's gonna be mad at you." He said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Will do." Harry answered.

Draco sighed. What did he care anyway? It's not like they'd ever been friends, so why would Potter be grateful that he had saved him now? Besides, they were even, and Potter probably knew, that Draco had nothing else to thank him for, since he'd saved Potter's life. "Right, I'll get going." He hissed, not looking at him.

"Thanks."

Draco wasn't sure he heard right and he stopped at his heels, his body tensing. "What did you say?" he asked.

"I said thanks, you prick." Harry said, finally looking up, and for a second Draco knew that whatever was going on with Potter, it was definitely bigger than what he'd originally thought.

"Right back at you. See you when you get your lazy arse out of here." Draco said, not being able to hold back a smirk, turning again to leave. He walked off and Harry bit his lip, lifting the covers from his thighs and swallowing a sob. His legs looked horrible like they were, filled with scars.

* * *

Hours after that encounter passed, and the clock on the wall across from Harry's bed indicated that it was past midnight.

He'd avoided the food that was placed by his bed and he'd regretted letting Malfoy see him like that. But he still wasn't sure as to why the Slytherin had visited him and why he'd said those things, and nor did he care.

He listened carefully around, making sure that nobody was awake as he pushed the covers off of him, bringing his legs to the side of the bed. He winced but didn't make a sound as he slowly brought himself to the very edge, his feet touching the floor. It was a good thing that he still had feeling on his feet.

He took a deep, shaking breath and closed his eyes, images flashing before his eyes. Blood, silver blades, King's Cross. He opened his eyes again, and clenched his teeth, stepping on the floor and standing on his feet. He gasped as a sharp pain ran through him, his thighs feeling as if they were hurting just by being connected to the rest of him. He bit his upper lip and wrapped the hospital robe tight against him as he took a few steps, still wincing. He searched with his eyes for his wand and then remembered that he'd left it at the dorm.

Step by step, he struggled to get to the door as soundlessly as possible until he made it outside. Once he was outside he gave himself a moment to breathe and then carefully made his way through the castle, ignoring the burning on his legs. He knew that because he had cut so deep, that maybe magic wasn't enough to heal them, but he didn't have time to care about them. He needed to get to his dorm. He needed to get to the shower that he and Malfoy shared, he needed to find his razor.

He kept limping all the way to the eighth year dorms, walking in silence and darkness, forcing himself to go faster.

He made it out of his and Malfoy's dorm, only to trip and lose his balance, falling face forward. He landed with a loud thump on the floor, gasping from the pain and desperation that ran through him. He tried picking himself up before he heard footsteps, and saw a light opening and the door swung open, revealing a messy haired blond that was just waking up.

"Potter?" the blond whispered.

Harry cursed his luck. If he'd been more careful he could've avoided Malfoy and gotten into bed without any questions.

"Sorry for waking you." He muttered and tried standing up, only to lose his balance again and fall backwards. Luckily, Malfoy was fast and grabbed him by the wrist, pulling him back up.

Harry winced and pulled his hand away, walking inside and heading straight for the shower.

"She didn't let you go, did she?" Malfoy said but Harry ignored him as he got into the bathroom, attempting to close the door. But Malfoy was quicker and blocked his hand, getting inside with him.

"I've thrown them away. I know what you want, and as long as you want it, you'll keep making yourself worse. I threw them away as soon as I knew. You were out for three days." He said.

Harry's face paled in horror, his eyes widening. He started searching around the bathroom, finding that his razor was gone, and so were all the other sharp items in the bathroom.

"Potter, stop ignoring me!" Malfoy hissed at the male and grabbed his shoulder, pulling him away. "Look at me for a second." He whispered, his grip softening as he closed the door.

Harry looked at him and for the first time he noticed that Malfoy's eyes had softened, and they were looking at him as if he truly cared. His bottom lip trembled and his eyes started blurring.

"I didn't mean to hurt the people who care… I didn't mean to…" he choked out, and looked at the floor.

"It's okay. You care for too many, let them care for you too. Granger cares. She stayed by your side for hours, you can tell her what's bothering you." Malfoy said in a soft tone, letting go of Harry's arm.

"You care." Harry whispered.

"What? Don't be ridiculous. Now, off you go, take a shower and go to bed. You woke me up, you prick." Malfoy grumbled, turning away from Harry and walking back to his bed.

Harry stepped into the shower and got himself naked, avoiding to look at his legs or hands as he washed himself mechanically.

"He cares." He said to himself. For the first time in forever he didn't feel bad about someone caring for him. On the contrary, it felt… good. Tears filled up his eyes and a broken sob escaped his mouth, making him feel really small and weak. He continued his shower through tears, staying there until he had calmed.

Malfoy didn't fall asleep until he had made sure that Harry was back in bed and had stopped shivering and turning around restlessly. "Stupid." He muttered to himself and finally went to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: So, that was it for this chapter.**

**Hope you liked it!**

**Read and Review 3**  
**~Venustus**


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Hey... So, I gotta apologize for my absence, I've not been so good lately. Loads of stuff happened and I was in a horrible writer's block, plus I have lost all motivation for school which sucks and I just cannot seem to find a way to express myself correctly when writing. For this chapter, I need to give special thanks to my Beta because she did an amazing job helping me find some trust in my writing and also helping me fix up my way of expression. If you notice my writing is much better, thank her. :3_**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, I have literally no idea when I can write another one because I'm really stuck with this story. If any of you have any suggestions, PM me, or leave a comment in the Reviews. It'll be much appreciated x**

_**Without further ado, here's the chapter. Have fun reading :)**_

_**Warnings: Light cursing. Also, Harry's PTSD is kicking in.**_  
_**Words: ~2800**_

_**~Venustus**_

* * *

**Chapter 5**

* * *

Draco woke up the next morning, yawning slightly and stretching his arms as he sat up. He scratched the back of his head and rubbed his eyes as he sleepily pulled himself out of bed. He hadn't slept well the previous night, and his head hurt.

With another yawn he stood, dragging his feet as he walked to the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, he sighed and pushed his hair out of his face. He bent down to wash his face, still half-asleep.

The cold water shocked him awake, and he gasped at the iciness; accidentally inhaling some of it, which resulted in a brief coughing fit.

He lifted his head and wiped his face on the towel, tiredly going back into the room.

"Potter, did you use up all the hot-" he said but stopped midsentence as he saw that Harry's bed was empty.

Draco looked around but didn't find a note or anything that would justify Harry's absence. He sighed and dressed himself, going down the staircase to go to the Great Hall. Once he got there, he searched around for Harry or Hermione and finally found Hermione, sitting by herself and eating breakfast.

"Is Harry skipping breakfast again?" she asked in exasperation.

"He wasn't in the dorm." Draco replied as he grabbed a croissant from a bowl next to him and bringing it to his lips.

Hermione seemed skeptical. "So, you don't know where he is?" she asked.

"Last time I saw him was last night and-" Draco started, but dropped the sentence. "Where could he be?" he asked her as he nibbled on the edge of his croissant.

"Search the Room of Requirement? He might be there." She suggested.

Draco nodded and stuffed the croissant in his mouth, before getting up from his seat and heading off.

"S'upid prat…" he muttered as he nibbled on the croissant, walking up the stairs and heading straight for the seventh floor.

He bumped into a lot of people on the stairs as he quickened his pace a bit, apologizing here and there. He finally reached the seventh floor and walked through the hallways, finding the right place.  
He paced in front of the tapestry three times, thinking of a place where Harry could go to be alone. The door appeared after his last turn and he pushed it open, stepping inside.

The room he stepped into was small, with a couch that had lots of cushions and a fireplace that burned in silence. The walls were covered in red tapestry and the whole room resembled a common room. Draco assumed that Harry had made it look like the Gryffindor Common Room, though he wasn't sure. There was a soft melody echoing through the walls and Draco soon spotted the source; a gramophone.

"Tchaikovsky. Really?" he muttered under his breath. He knew that composer and all of his songs like the back of his hand.

He hadn't seen a gramophone in a while. He was five when his mother used to have big social gatherings. There was always beautiful music playing, and there was always a large crowd of people. Draco remembered listening to classical music during formal events in their ballroom. His parents made sure that he listened to a lot of music as well when there were no events, and he was simply playing in his room, or when he was studying.

Soon he spotted the Gryffindor sitting cross legged on the floor, his back against the couch. Draco couldn't see the other boy well enough to be sure, but Harry seemed to be holding something in his hands.

"You weren't at breakfast." Draco said, making his presence known.

Harry turned around quickly and spotted Draco. He stared at him for a few seconds. "Why are you here, Malfoy?" he asked quietly.

"Granger was worried for you." Draco shrugged.

Harry nodded and turned his gaze back at what he'd been holding.

Draco's curiosity wouldn't leave him alone so he slowly made his way to the front of the couch, standing over Harry. "What's that?" he asked, pointing at the small stack of what seemed to be cards that Harry was holding.

Harry seemed to stiffen before he stretched out his hand and showed a picture of a baby to Draco. Draco was silent for a moment, analyzing the picture in his head.

"It's Teddy." Harry said softly.

Draco made a sigh of understanding, nodding his head at Harry. "Have you met him?" he asked.

Harry nodded. "I spent the summer with Andromeda. Teddy will grow up to be such an amazing kid. He's the reason I…" he started to say, but cut himself off.

"You what?" Draco asked, taking a seat on the floor next to Harry.

"He's the reason I don't go through with it." Harry said and lifted another picture of him and Teddy, in which Teddy was sitting on Harry's lap and Harry was showing him a picture of a wolf. Teddy was thrilled when he first saw wolves.

Draco looked at the picture before turning to look at Harry. "You seem to be better today." He said.

Harry hummed. "And you seem less like a prick." He commented.

Draco chuckled. "Come down for dinner, will ya? Your girlfriend will go mad." He said, a bit bitterly.

"She's not my girlfriend, if you're talking about Hermione. She's with Ron, she's like a sister to me." Harry said.

"Oh." Draco mumbled. "Anyway, I have to get going. Just… don't skip dinner. She needs an explanation more than I do." he said.

"Cheers, Malfoy." Harry said.

Draco got up and started heading for the door before he realized what had just happened. That was the first conversation they've had had that was somewhat friendly. He had to be honest with himself; Harry wasn't that bad of a person. He was just hard to understand. He shook his head and kept walking, getting out of the room and finally going to the class he'd been missing whilst searching.

* * *

Harry had stayed in that room all day, looking over pictures and letters that brought to mind happy memories. He felt a sort of relief to see that Malfoy was one of the people who didn't ask much, and he certainly felt much calmer than before.

But that didn't change the emptiness in his heart, nor the feeling of desperation when he didn't have enough courage to pick up a blade.

He wasn't sure what to feel. He felt empty, but he'd been pushing his own feelings away for so long that now he was lost.

Teddy was literally the only thing keeping him alive at this point. Teddy felt like his younger brother; someone he had to care for. Even with Andromeda being there, he felt like he could just spend the rest of his life taking care of Teddy and be content with it.

He couldn't explain it. He just felt a strong need to be close to Teddy because nobody was there for him when he was an infant, so he excused it as that.

_'I suggest you go see a mind-healer, as soon as you're out of here.' _Madam Pomfrey's words echoed in his mind and lingered there uncomfortably. He ignored them as he started picking up all the pictures he'd scattered around his feet earlier.

"I'm not mental." He hissed. He stuffed all the photos back into his bag and grabbed it as he stood. He then pulled the needle off the vinyl that he'd left playing. The music cut off, and he put the fire out with a spell. Closing the door behind him, he made his way out, and the room was left in the dark.

* * *

Draco was sat at the dinner table, looking around anxiously. He hadn't encountered Harry once – not in any of his classes, or even in the hallways. The first wasn't an issue, because they didn't have any joint classes that day; but neither he nor Hermione had seen Harry anywhere yet, and he was starting to get worried.

He wasn't going to admit it, but maybe he did care. Maybe he wanted to know just a bit more about Harry. After all, Harry had always been his rival; mostly because Draco was jealous of him. Jealous of his fame, his ability to fight the Dark Lord so easily - it really was a silly reason to be jealous of him. He'd realized that sometime around his sixth year, when he faced Voldemort himself; when he got assigned to murder someone in order to pay his father's failures.

Draco shuddered and glared at his plate.

"Are you alright?"

Draco looked up and saw Hermione staring at him. She was giving him a concerned look, holding her drink in her hand.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Draco responded. "That prick; he said he'd be here." He huffed under his breath.

"You mean Harry?" Hermione asked.

Draco nodded. "I found him in the Room of Requirement like you said, but he wouldn't come downstairs. He said he'd be at bloody dinner, and if he doesn't come downstairs any time soon I'll personally drag his sorry arse to a mind healer!" He hissed.

Hermione chuckled. "You two are acting like a married couple, you know?"

Draco glared at her. "I don't fancy Potter, Granger. He just said he'd be my friend and friends don't go try to die on each other. If he is serious about forgiving me and becoming my friend, he should make an effort at least." He said as he grabbed a bread roll and bit into it angrily.

Why was he reacting that way? Unlike all the friends he'd had, this particular friendship was not going good at all. He was becoming really attached to Harry, really early; and he did not like that at all.

"Hello."

Draco looked up at the sound of the greeting and saw Harry standing over him. "Look who showed up." He grinned.

Harry sat down next to him, filling up his plate with food. Draco was about to say something, but Harry started talking before he could get the chance to say it. "Yes, I'm going to eat all of that." He muttered.

Draco looked away quickly, refusing to show his concern.

"Harry, how've you been?" Hermione asked softly, reaching out to stroke his hand.

"Fine, Hermione." Harry said and started eating some mashed potatoes.

"You had us all worried. You know you can talk to me, alright? I'm here for you." Hermione said with a pained smile.

Harry looked up at her and nodded, needing to swallow the mouthful he'd had before being able to reply. "I know." He hummed and reached for some of the nearby steaks, choosing one to move onto his plate where he started cutting it right away.

Draco watched him for a few minutes before shaking his head. "You're just going to pretend that everything's fine, then? You're not doing either of you any good by not talking to her. If you don't want to hurt people, it's best you start talking." He said, his lip curling in a sneer.

Harry let his fork fall on the plate, causing it to clatter, as he turned to look at Draco. "No. Talking to people about my problems will only hurt them even more." He said, turning at his food again.

"Boys, there's no need to fight over this, alright?" Hermione cut in, trying to make amends. "We should focus on tomorrow." She said with a hint of forced excitement.

"What's tomorrow?" Draco questioned.

"Tomorrow is the Quidditch tryouts for the year. Haven't either of you been paying attention?" Hermione said, with a hint of disbelief in her voice.

"Quidditch…" Harry whispered.

"Yes, Harry, Quidditch, and if you don't want to miss it, you better be at the field by seven tomorrow." Hermione said.

Harry stood up suddenly. "I'm going to the dorm." He announced, hurrying out of the hall.

Draco stared at him as the Gryffindor made his way out. Before he knew it he was standing up as well and leaving the table, going after Harry.

"Potter, wait up!" he called when both of them reached the grand staircase.

Harry turned around and glared at the blond from a stair that had started moving with him.

"Potter! You'll either be my friend or you won't!" Draco yelled and got on another set of stairs, trying to catch up with him.

"Malfoy, friends aren't pets! You need to realize that there's gotta be some respect between friends and some space too." Harry yelled back, running up another set of stairs.

Draco groaned and rolled his eyes. "First you keep begging me to hang out and then you close up entirely. What the hell's your deal?!" Draco exclaimed.

Harry stopped at the fourth floor, staring at Draco for a moment. "My deal?" he asked as soon as the blond caught up with him and they stood face to face.

"Yes. Why do you keep acting like that? If something's the matter, why don't you try and fix it?" Draco pressed.

Harry seemed to be uneasy and Draco backed up a bit.

"What's the matter, Potter?" he asked again.

Harry closed his eyes, raised one arm and pulled up the sleeve. "These were caused because I feel nothing but emptiness on a daily basis. 'I came back from the dead.' Maybe people should start considering that before asking me so carelessly "what's the matter". Everything's the matter. Leave me be." Harry whispered. He pulled his sleeve back down, opening his eyes and giving Draco a long look before walking away. He headed up another set of stairs, heading to a higher floor.

Draco sighed and gave him a few minutes head-start before following the same set of stairs but heading for the eighth year dorms instead.

* * *

Harry entered the Room of Requirement after pacing back and forth impatiently, thinking of what he needed.

He strode into the room he'd asked for, sitting down on the floor like he had earlier. He began looking at the pictures again and starting to get more and more furious. Sitting down wasn't working for him, and soon he stood up, throwing the pictures on the couch and starting to pace in the room.

"What's the matter? What's the matter?! I'll tell you! I've got one piece of myself missing because a maniac killed my parents and took away everyone I ever loved! I've literally died and come back! I've gotten so depressed that I can't even kill myself because I feel like I'd be a burden to people who'd have to arrange my funeral! That's the fucking matter!" he screamed, yelling at nobody in particular. He spotted a table and stalked towards it. He grabbed a glass bottle that sat as a decorative piece on the table, hurling it against the wall with all his might.

He looked around and the room obligingly provided a fully-stocked liquor cabinet. He sighed deeply.

"No…" he told himself, but he'd already walked towards it and his hand was already reaching for one of the temptingly full bottles. He grabbed one without checking what it was and opened it right away. Bringing the bottle to his lips, he took a large sip. The liquor tasted awful but the burn of it soothed him somehow. He took a few more sips before throwing the bottle against the wall, watching it smash in a million pieces.

He then noticed a few more bottles appearing, but they were empty this time; perfect for throwing.

He grabbed one after another, smashing them against the wall and screaming, cursing his fate, hating the fact that he was still alive when so many people died for him.

Voices started filling up his head.

_"You'd have been better off dead than being this mess."_

"Who would care for you anyway? They're all gone"

"All of them, dead; because of _**you.**__"_

"Because of _**YOU**__; Harry Potter."_

"No… Please… Stop it…" He gasped, clutching his head and falling to his knees.

Voices kept filling up his head, telling him things that weren't true; telling him he was worthless, that he wasn't good enough to be the savior. That he wasn't loved enough to be okay, that he wasn't alive enough to be able to go back to himself.

Harry curled up in a ball and held his head, hoping that the torture of the voices would end soon. They occurred a lot, resembling Voldemort's voice, in various terrifying pitches.

He fell asleep curled up on the floor with glass shards surrounding him.

* * *

Draco was pacing around in his room, having no idea where Harry could possibly be at half past midnight.

With his continued pacing he didn't notice how close he'd come to the Gryffindor's bed, and upon turning, his foot caught on Harry's trunk, knocking it over. The crash caused things to fall out, and he cursed loudly.

"Merlin's boll-" he said, cutting himself off as he noticed a big piece of parchment that had fallen on the floor along with some of Harry's clothes.

"What on earth…" he breathed as he leaned over and picked the parchment up, staring at it as he held it in his hands.

* * *

**TBC**

**Tell me what you thought and please, if you have any suggestions, I'll be happy to hear them x**

**~Ven**


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: HEY GUYS. I've finally, finally written omg. This is probably the longest I've written in one sitting, oh my god. I really got some inspiration for this chapter, mainly because I had nothing better to do with my time. I don't know when I'll be able to write the next chapter, so please don't kill me if I update every few months instead of weeks. It's really difficult to follow this story since my moods keep changing, but oh well.  
**__**Enjoy! I'll see you next time.**_

_**Thanks to all the lovelies who've reviewed this stories so far, it means a lot to me to see your reviews and see that you like this little story of mine. I'll be somewhat busy because I'm also writing a book, but, oh well. I'll manage, right? I have finals in three months, fanfic lord have mercy :c**_

**Warning: Some explicit content that isn't too explicit, but oh well. And some triggering stuff on wounds, again, be careful, sweets.  
Words: ~4.400**

**Have fun reading! See you in the next one ^_^**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

* * *

Draco's eyes narrowed as he looked at the parchment.

"What on earth is this?" he muttered to himself, grabbing his wand and tapping it on the parchment.

His jaw dropped as letters started appearing on it, forming names and words.

**"_Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs  
Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers  
are proud to present  
THE MARAUDER'S MAP_"**

Draco stared at the names for a long time before finally forcing himself to sit on Potter's bed, his wand still at hand as he stared at the parchment.

He tapped his wand on the parchment and tried a few spells before giving up.

"Damn it, it's broken." He grumbled, falling back on the bed and letting the parchment slip from his hand. He was about to close his eyes when he noticed movement on the map, more words starting to form. He reached for it and took it in his hands, looking at a slightly longer text than the first one.

_"Mr. Moony advises Mr. Malfoy to refrain from insulting the map and the creators of it, and try again,  
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that Mr. Malfoy should stop being so nosy since this map clearly belongs to other people,  
Mr. Padfoot wishes Mr. Malfoy a good evening and hopes he someday learns how to be a good person, unlike his father,  
Mr. Wormtail bids his farewells to Mr. Malfoy."_

Draco looked at the words for a while. Until something clicked in his brain and he held the parchment in his hands tighter. "Wormtail… Peter Pettigrew… One of Voldemort's followers, he was at my house…" he breathed.

"But why? Why is his name on this? Who're the other three? They're all Hogwarts students, obviously. It seems to have dark magic in it…" he muttered to himself. He sighed and rubbed his temples. "Why does Potter always end up with the most bizarre items?"

He held tight onto his wand as he tapped the parchment again. "I need to help a friend. It's important that he is found." He said, wishing something would happen.

The map remained as it was, only showing the notes that the blond had already read. Draco let out a loud groan and threw the parchment on Harry's bed, standing up again and starting to pace up and down again.

"This makes no sense and Potter could be _anywhere_ right now and if he does something stupid I will kill him before he kills himself!" He exclaimed.

Suddenly he stopped pacing, freezing completely. "I don't care for Potter, don't be ridiculous, Draco. He's just a git and as I told Granger before, friends don't give up on each other." He huffed at himself. He was really talking aloud to himself, wasn't he?

"Where could he be?" he sighed and sat on his bed, leaning at the front and resting his head on his hands.

He decided to go for a shower, trying not to think of Harry.

He undid his tie, leaving it on his bed and taking off all his clothes before going in the shower. He stepped in, turning the water on and sighing as the warmth surrounded him. He felt the warm water running down his shoulders and following his spine until it fell on the tiled floor from his body. He grabbed the shampoo he kept on the racks their shower had, pouring some on his hand and washing his hair. He turned the water off and started ruffling his hair, creating bubbles. He washed his hands off and started washing his body with a washing cloth, getting bubbles everywhere on his body.

"Feels nice…" he hummed, closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall, slowly rubbing his arms to clean them thoroughly.

He soaped all of his lean body slowly, enjoying his shower as much as he could. He hadn't had a moment to relax fully in a long time. He was always on high alert during the war, and after that ended, he was still on alert because people were still attempting to hurt him. Even with Harry's attempt to calm them down and end the hate towards the Slytherins, Draco still got hateful notes in his bag and still got some people threatening him with curses. He also was trying to figure out what was going on with Harry, so relaxing wasn't an option whilst the Gryffindor was constantly attempting to kill himself. Or, at least, that's what it seemed he was doing.

Draco sighed and realized he'd been soaping the same spot for a few minutes now; his thighs. He looked down at himself, realizing that he never had time to figure out himself. He wasn't the type who got horny just by looking at guys, and he didn't really know what type he was attracted to, either. Love wasn't an option for him. His parents had always wanted to marry him to a pureblood girl, but ever since the war took place, that plan just got forgotten. Draco was glad his parents never had to find out that he was gay.

He sighed and moved the wash cloth a bit higher on his thighs, moving it slowly. He closed his eyes again and leaned his head back as he started touching himself. It wasn't the first time he'd done it, but it was the first time he was this relaxed. He started stroking his member slowly at first, leaving the wash cloth aside, and soon progressed into a faster pace. His head provided images of a male figure, tempting him even more to find someone he could possibly have fun with. He dragged it out as much as he could, wanting to make it last a long time in an attempt to make himself relax completely. His breaths were becoming uneven as he was starting to reach climax, his pace fastening. He bit his lip and gasped softly as he was reaching the end, stroking himself faster than before. He thrust his hips forward and let out a low moan, coming all over his hand and stomach, his breathing echoing in the shower. He opened his eyes and waited until he'd stopped panting, turning the water on and cleaning himself from the soap and cum that was covering him. He sighed softly as the warm water hit him, placing one hand against the wall to give him support as he washed himself off.

He got out of the shower after a few minutes, wrapping a towel around his hips and walking towards his bed. He sat down and dried himself off, wearing some clean clothes. He laid on his bed, sighing. He felt extremely tired so sleep wasn't an issue this time. Maybe he should take long showers more often.

Sleep found him easily, right after he laid his head on his pillow and hid under his warm blankets.

* * *

The next morning he woke up way better than he'd had any other day. He stretched and yawned softly, getting out of bed and heading sleepily for the bathroom. He washed his face to wake up completely and went back to the room. He looked at Harry's bed and realized it was empty.

"Shit, I forgot!" he cursed and got dressed quickly, grabbing his bag and running out of the corridor.

He ran down the stairs, going down to the Great Hall and searching around for signs of Harry. He couldn't see him anywhere, nor Granger, and he cursed under his breath, running out of the Great Hall and heading for the Hospital Wing. If anything, this was the place Harry would most likely be at.

He went up the stairs, taking shortcuts and reaching the Hospital Wing. He got in, looking around.

"May I help you, Mr. Malfoy?" Madam Pomfrey asked the blond as soon as she spotted him.

"Yeah, is Pot- is Harry Potter here?" he asked.

"No, why?" She answered.

"He didn't return to the dorm room and he hasn't been sighted since yesterday." He muttered.

"Well, keep searching, think of places he might be. I'll keep an eye for him." She said.

Draco nodded. "Thanks." He said and walked out of the Wing, heading downstairs again.

And then it hit him like a brick to the head. "The Room of Requirement." He breathed.

He took a different set of stairs and reached the seventh floor within minutes, rushing to reach the familiar set of corridors that had the entrance to the room.

He paced in front of the tapestry impatiently, thinking of Harry and a place he could be at, and soon the door appeared.

He stepped in and froze completely at the sight. Harry was laying on his side on the carpet, with his arms cut up and pieces of glass sticking out from places on his wrists and arms, big blood stains covering his shirt. The room reeked of an awful combination of liquor and blood, pools of blood were staining the carpet and shattered glass was surrounding the Gryffindor. There was also a few broken bottles and liquid stains against the walls, indicating that Harry had thrown a bottle against the wall.

"Potter…" he breathed, slowly making his way towards the seemingly unconscious male.

He reached him and took out his wand, turning all the glass shards to sand, and making sure to remove any that were in Harry's hands. He pulled the Gryffindor in his arms softly, pressing his thumb against his pulse point, trying to find any signs of life. He held his breath as he waited for a pulse, closing his eyes to focus. And just as he was about to give up, he felt a really faint pulse, and he exhaled loudly. He was still alive.

He looked around him for some clean cloths and found some, hurriedly reaching for them. He took off the Gryffindor's shirt, gasping at the sight. There were still glass shards stuck to him and he started removing them one by one, casting healing spells over every wound he took out a glass shard from. From what he could tell, the Gryffindor had fallen down on the broken glass, not realizing he'd gotten hurt and falling unconscious from the blood loss.

Draco held his breath as he finished healing up everything on Harry's chest, moving on to his arms. He braced himself and started doing the same on his hands: removing broken pieces of glass, disinfecting each wound and healing it after.

It was no wonder that Draco was so good at this, actually. He had wanted to be a healer ever since the war stopped. Ever since then, he'd done copious amounts of research on healing techniques and learnt everything he wanted to know about how to deal with each situation. It took him months to arrange all of it and practice the spells, but he'd gotten really good at it over time.

He continued his work in silence, taking off Harry's jeans as well and checking for any injuries. There were only two or three pieces stuck to his thigh, but besides that, nothing else. He healed them up quickly, getting rid of the blood stains on the jeans and putting them back in place. He had left Harry's head to rest on his lap so he didn't realize how awkward it really was for him. He was so caught up in healing, in saving that person, that he didn't care if it was the git he'd hated for years. He was still a patient. That's the reason he wanted to be a healer so much. He didn't care who it was, he just wanted to do good for once.

He cleaned Harry's shirt and placed it back on him before lifting him with a spell and placing him gently on the couch. He then sat on the floor, checking again for Harry's pulse. It was still weak, but it was more noticeable now.

He sighed and leaned his head on the couch, sighing. "You idiot…" he whispered, using his hand for support as he looked at the Gryffindor. He knew he should've rushed him to the Hospital Wing, but that would only cause more gossip around Harry.

"N-No…" came a faint whisper.

Draco looked at the male, and sighed.

"No, no, please stop it, stop it…" Harry whimpered in his sleep.

Draco moved a bit closer and pressed the tip of his wand to Harry's temple. He murmured a spell that would calm Harry down in his sleep and waited until it took effect. Harry stopped tossing in his sleep and the mumbling quieted down, soon being replaced by soft breathing.

He stayed for a few hours by Harry's side, checking his wounds that hadn't fully healed up and keeping him calm.

At some point he fell asleep, his face buried against a pillow next to Harry's hip. He'd become very tired.

* * *

Harry woke up with blurry vision and looked at the ceiling, clasping his forehead. He had a headache that felt like it would kill him.

He looked around only to find that he was laying on a couch and that he had a few wounds on his hands. He saw the holes on his shirt and checked under, seeing only thin lines of wounds there.

He then noticed the sleeping blond next to him and sat up on the couch, looking at the blond.

"Malfoy…?" he breathed.

The blond suddenly moved and made a sighing noise, continuing to breathe heavily in his sleep.

Harry looked around and saw the stains against the wall and on the carpet, surrounded by a small pile of sand and a few glass shards poking out from it. He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes, trying to remember the previous night. He'd started throwing bottles against the wall, and then he'd fallen to the floor, going to sleep, but he wasn't sure how he got injured that much.

He opened his eyes and gazed at the sleeping blond. He seemed so peaceful in his sleep. Harry felt envy. He remembered that in his sleep he had a few nightmares but they stopped really suddenly and after that he had a good night's sleep. That hadn't happened in a long time, and he was sure Malfoy was behind that too.

He slowly reached out and pushed aside a few strands that were falling in Draco's eyes, looking at him.

"Thanks…" he whispered softly, slowly stroking the blond's hair.

He played a bit with Draco's hair, gently stroking it and twisting it around his fingers delicately, not wanting to wake him. He had always found Draco interesting and he was truly thankful that he hadn't woken up in a hospital bed.

He pulled away softly and without making any noise he reached for a blanket from the armchair that was next to the couch he was on, covering the blond gently with it. He smiled at his sleeping form. He seemed much nicer than he was when he was awake, he had to be honest. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but seeing Malfoy that way made him feel something for the blond.

He shook his head and brought his hands to his face, examining the cuts on them. Most of them were faded and old, and he really needed to let them heal. For the first time in forever he didn't want to touch anything sharp. It was the first time he'd woken up not wanting to cut himself after a night of such events. The voices were completely gone from his head; for now.

He laid back again and watched the blond sleep, the feeling of calmness taking over.

There was a soft sound and Draco's eyelids fluttered open, looking up at Harry.

"Potter?" he whispered, suddenly remembering what had happened. "You're alive." He said frantically.

"Yeah, I am, you git." Harry replied.

"I thought you were going to die, your pulse was too low, you'd lost too much blood." He muttered, panic showing in his eyes.

"Hey, but I didn't." Harry said. "Thanks."

"Pardon?"

"I said thanks. You saved my life, again. Not that you needed to, but, still." Harry mumbled, looking away.

Draco beamed. "No worries. How's your head?" he asked.

"What, you mean besides depressed?" Harry mocked.

"Potter, stop being such a git for one second, will you?" Draco said as he rolled his eyes at him.

Harry sighed. He was right. "It's fine. Just a little headache is all I've got."

"Will you return to the dorm?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded. "I think I can do that. Let me grab my bag and we can go." He said.

Draco smiled inwardly. "Good," He said, sitting up and waiting for him.

"How did you find me?" Harry asked as he picked up his bag, placing the photo album in his bag.

Draco shrugged. "I guess out of luck."

Harry hummed, walking towards him. "You know, you're not so bad."

"What do you mean by that?" Draco asked.

"Nothing."

Draco groaned. "Tell me."

Harry shook his head. "Nothing, it's nothing."

Draco sighed. He really couldn't understand what was up with Harry half of the time. But he didn't care either. They were starting to become slightly close, as friends, and that was surely an improvement.

"How did you learn to heal that well?" Harry asked on their way to the dormitory.

"I studied a lot on healing, that's all," Draco replied.

They kept conversing as they walked to the dorm, soon reaching their room and stepping in.

"Potter?" Draco said softly.

"Hmm?"

"If you want to talk, you know Granger will listen." He said.

"Here we go again. Stop babying me, please? You'd do me a great favor."

Draco chuckled. "Alright, I will. Go take a shower. You reek." He smirked.

"Alright, fine, I'm going." Harry said, a low chuckle bubbling its way up to his throat. He froze, his eyes wide. He hadn't properly laughed in so long, he had almost forgotten what it felt like to really laugh. He'd have to fake laughter at funny things anyone told him. He shook his head and headed for the shower.

"Don't take too long. Quidditch tryouts are in two hours, remember? If you wanna try, you should be in time." Draco reminded.

Harry hummed. "Got it, Malfoy." he said. 'Even though I haven't played Quidditch for over a year and a half... I'll at least get to see who gets in the team.' He thought to himself.

Draco sat on his bed, shaking his head at the male.

Harry got in the bathroom, closing the door behind him and taking off his clothes, stepping into the warm shower. He stayed under the water for a long time, his mind travelling to Quidditch after a long time. He hadn't realized how much pleasure Quidditch gave to him; whenever he was flying he felt free. He still didn't feel like flying though. He felt like he just wouldn't enjoy it as much.

He washed himself and ignored the slight burn of his new scars, soaping his body fully before washing himself off. He sighed, leaning against the wall with his forehead on the warm tiles.

He had a sudden flashback of when he was stroking Draco's hair and how soft and silky it was. He shook the thought away and continued rinsing off the soap suds from his hands.

He walked out of the shower and searched around for a clean towel, finding one and messily placing it around his hips, not caring if it wasn't properly placed. He stepped out and found Malfoy sitting on his bed with a book in hand.

"Oh, the prince finally decided to emerge from his royal bath?" Draco smirked.

"Shut up…" Harry mumbled.

"I'm not being mean, you know. You just took too long and I didn't want to "baby" you or something," Draco replied.

Harry nodded. "I know, thanks. How long till the Quidditch tryouts then?" he asked.

"An hour." came the reply.

"Great." Harry said. He sat on his bed and saw the map thrown on it, noticing his trunk was moved and clothes were messily shoved back in. "Malfoy… Did you go through my stuff?" he accused suddenly.

Draco looked up, trying to figure out what he meant. "Oh, that. I bumped into your trunk and that parchment fell from it. I put your clothes back in so they wouldn't get dirty and I left that parchment on your bed so you could put it back in its place." He explained.

Harry sighed. "Alright."

He looked at the map and placed it in his trunk, grabbing a change of muggle clothes.

"Are you getting dressed here?" Draco asked.

"Yeah. Is there a problem?" Harry retorted.

"None at all. I won't look." Draco said and turned his back to Harry.

Harry took the towel off his hips, placing it on the bed as he turned his back to Draco.

Draco's curiosity wouldn't leave him alone and he peeked over his shoulder, looking at Harry. His heartbeat started increasing as he looked at his tan back and backside, subconsciously licking his lips at the sight. He mentally slapped himself. He knew he was attracted to guys but he had no right to check out his roommate.

He looked back at his book, trying to block out the image. Harry's body was really nice, he admitted.

Harry put on his boxers after drying himself off completely, throwing a simple black t-shirt on and a pair of dark grey jeans. He didn't really do much to his hair so he just let it be unruly and out of place. "You can turn around now." Harry informed him.

Draco turned around and the first thing he noticed was Harry's messy hair. "Are you ready then?" he asked.

Harry nodded. "Do you really think we can be friends, Malfoy?" he asked softly, sitting on the edge of his own bed and looking across at Draco.

Draco sat up and looked at the Gryffindor. "I don't know, do you want a friend like me? Do you even know me?" he asked.

"No, but I want to get to know you."

Draco nodded. "Then it's settled. We're already being way more civilized towards each other, might as well go with it."

Harry hummed. "Yeah."

Harry messed with his hair a bit and Draco felt a strong urge to go comb it into submission for him. He bit his cheek from the inside and focused on his book.

"What are you reading?" Harry asked shortly after.

"A book about surgeries in the Muggle world." Draco replied.

Harry was impressed and shocked at the same time. "I didn't know you were interested in Muggles."

Draco shrugged. "Well, I figured that the more I know the better."

Harry nodded and the pair fell into silence again.

* * *

A few hours later, both Harry and Draco were sat on the Quidditch benches, watching the tryouts. All of the kids who tried for the spots were really talented, so the tryouts were dragged out for a lot longer than they should've.

"Man, this is taking forever…" Draco sighed, looking at the two last kids who were trying to decide whether they'd get put as beaters or split up and take different positions. They were too good at everything.

Harry shook his head. "They're just that good. I think they'll be done soon." He assured.

"They better be." Draco sighed.

Harry nodded. "True."

"Aren't you going to fly today?" Draco asked after a few minutes.

Harry was silent. "I don't want to. I don't think I'm ready yet."

Draco hummed. "Take your time, Potter." He advised.

Harry went to reply but suddenly gasped as a bludger was thrown their way, dodging out of the way before it hit him. The bludger flew back up, swiftly making its way back to the field.

"That was scary." Draco said, looking at the Gryffindor. "You alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm good." Harry sighed, looking at the big gap the bludger left between them on the seats.

"Are you guys okay?" a girl from the field shouted, waving at them.

Draco raised his hand and gave her a thumbs up. "We're good, thanks!" he yelled back.

Harry looked at the sky and noticed it was starting to get dark. "We should go back inside," he suggested, looking at the sun that had started setting.

Draco looked at the sky as well. "Yeah, alright." He agreed. "Go ahead, I'll catch up with you."

Harry got up and left the field, heading back to the dorm. He went up the stairs and instead headed for Hermione's dorm, finding her by the fireplace.

"Harry!" she said, jumping up and hugging him tightly. "Where have you been?" she asked in a concerned tone.

"Stuff happened. Anyway, I wanted to see you, so, yeah, here I am." He said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

Hermione hugged him tighter and made him sit down on the couch next to her. "Are you feeling better?" she asked gently.

Harry nodded. "Malfoy and I are actually being friendly, which is strange, but, yeah."

Hermione chuckled. "He's not that bad, right?" she said.

Harry nodded again. "Yeah, not that bad," he replied. "He helped me out. We went to the tryouts, but I didn't participate. I didn't want to, there's nothing wrong with me being on a broom or something like that, I promise." He said before she could say anything.

Hermione smiled. "I'm glad you managed to figure it out between you two then. He seems like he'd be a good friend from what I've seen whilst talking to him."

Harry nodded. "If you don't mind, I'll go sleep, okay? I didn't get much sleep last night." He said.

"Sure, go ahead. Just make sure you don't take any detours, yeah?" she said and ruffled his hair.

"Yeah, I got it, 'Mione." He said and fixed his hair.

He stood up and headed for his dorm, seeing that Draco was already there when he arrived.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight."

"Night, Malfoy."

They both laid on their beds, turning their backs to the other. Draco picked up a book and Harry curled on his side and fell asleep.

"Giving it a try then." He mumbled.

* * *

**A/N: That was it. Leave a review if you feel like it, it's nice to hear from people :3 **


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Hey everyone! So, uhm, I've actually written this chapter for two weeks now, right after I posted Chapter 6, but silly Fanfiction wouldn't let me sumbit a document and only now it's working properly. Anyway, this chapter is quite the calm one, compared to the other ones xD I wanted to give the new trio a break. ^-^**_

_**Have fun reading!**_

_**P.S.: Thanks to everyone who has followed, favourited and reviewed this story, you guys never cease to amaze me with all the emails I get about each new chapter I post, you guys make my day every time I see anything about this story because I'm really really attached to it. Hehe.**_  
_**So, thank you, lovelies 3**_

**Warning(s): For this chapter only a bit of language and I think no trigger warnings apply for this chapter.  
Words: ~4.700**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

* * *

_"You think you're special because they want to thank you?"  
__"You've failed them again, Harry Potter. You truly have."  
__"They recognized you again. Everywhere you go, they know you."  
__"The great savior is nothing but a pathetic loser!"  
_"_You're the reason they're all dead!"  
__"Dumbledore used you!"  
__"You're a murderer, Harry Potter."_

Harry's body was shaking fully. His vision was blurred and his hands were clutching his head, tears making their way down his cheeks.

"Stop…" he whispered weakly, trying to block out the voices by talking over them.

"_Again, Harry Potter, you're recognized as the savior! Some savior! You're useless! You didn't save anyone, you let them all die! They're all dead! You just died in the middle of the battle, leaving them behind!" _

The voices kept adding to the images that flashed in his head.

"Stop it already! Shut up!" he screamed, the tears blinding him, his whole existence hurting. He needed to find something sharp. He needed to cut, he needed to direct the pain elsewhere, he didn't care about his hands but his head was vibrating from the pain and he couldn't handle it any longer. He had to find a way to hurt himself on another spot so his head would stop hurting from the awful images and flashbacks and the voices. The voices were the worst part. _  
_  
The bathroom door swung open and Harry didn't even bother looking up. He tried to move away, get to a stall from where he was sat on the floor, but instead a pair of slender arms wrapped around him tightly, holding him with his back to the person's chest.

"Shh, it's okay."

* * *

**A few hours prior**

* * *

The weekend had finally arrived, and Harry was sat at breakfast with Hermione and Draco.

Ever since Draco had healed him in the Room of Requirement and not said anything about his condition, he'd been feeling less miserable.

The truth was that he hadn't cut in three days, and he hadn't had such strong flashbacks recently either. He'd only just felt empty, which was what he usually felt. Emptiness was much better than anything else. He was well aware that he needed help, but he didn't want to bother anyone, so he just kept quiet about it.

He nibbled on a piece of toast as he looked around the Great Hall, noticing that not many students were there. Very few students from the fifth year and above were sat for breakfast, sitting in small groups. The majority of students were kids that were in lower grades, but the Great Hall definitely had a buzz to it.

"Where's everyone from our year?" he asked. Nobody from the eighth year seemed to be around, and the students weren't that many anyway.

Draco looked up at the question, being slightly startled. "They're probably off to Hogsmeade, or studying in the castle," he replied nonchalantly.

Harry bit into his toast more as he thought it over. "I wanna go to Hogsmeade." He announced and got up.

"What, now?" Hermione questioned as she looked away from her book.

"Yes. Can we go?" Harry said.

"Alright…" Hermione mumbled, getting up. "Draco, are you coming?" she asked the blond.

"I'll join you." Draco said and stood as well.

The three of them walked out of the Great Hall, heading outside.

"We can take the shortcut." Harry suggested.

"What shortcut?" Draco questioned.

"Through the Shrieking Shack. How about it, 'Mione?" Harry said.

Hermione seemed to be thinking of it for a bit before finally smiling. "Alright, I guess we can take the shortcut." She said with a grin.

She went first and the two boys followed after her, walking through the grounds of Hogwarts in silence. They went to the secret passage that was rebuilt after the war and went through it, going underground.

"That's insane," Draco breathed. "How many passages are there?" he asked as they walked through the tunnel, wands in hand and lit up.

"A lot, actually. But they're quite old," Hermione stated.

"Well, it's been here since my dad and mum were at school, so…" Harry said quietly.

"How do you know?" Draco asked.

"I assumed so because the passages are old," Harry lied.

Draco huffed. Harry was a horrible liar, but he didn't persist on the matter any more. "You need to stop being so secretive."

"Can't help it, Malfoy," Harry replied and kept walking.

Draco simply rolled his eyes, muttering something about Harry being an insuferable Gryffindor under his breath.

* * *

Soon enough they reached Hogsmeade and were walking on the main street, looking around.

"So, where do you want to go?" Hermione asked.

"Honeydukes." Harry replied.

Hermione sighed. "You and your sweet tooth."

Draco remained silent until they reached the shop, looking around and shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat. It was already the middle of October, and the weather was starting to get chilly.

They walked up to the store and got in. Harry started going from shelf to shelf, observing all the sweets and picking out some that he liked. He got a pack of chocolate bites filled with caramel and also some licorice wands. He went up to the registry and paid for them before reuniting with the other two.

Draco looked at the sweets Harry had bought. "What's in those?" he asked, pointing at the chocolate bites.

"Caramel," Harry replied, stuffing some of them in his mouth. "Want some?" he offered.

"No, I'm good."

Hermione had gone and bought herself a chocolate frog but Draco hadn't picked out anything.

"Won't you get anything?" she asked him.

Draco shook his head. "Although I do enjoy sweets, I buy them on very rare occasions."

Hermione gave him a puzzled look. "Well, it is kind of a rare occasion. We don't go to Hogsmeade every day. I think you should get something, even if you don't want to eat now," she advised.

He sighed. "Wait for me outside." He said and went over to the shelves to get something for himself.

Hermione chuckled and pulled Harry out of the shop, watching him bite a licorice wand.

"He's really something." She said.

"Mmm..." Harry hummed.

"Have you guys started getting along at all? I've had a few chats with him, and he's changed a lot since... last year." She said, quickly changing what she wanted to say.

"Well, he's not as a much of a prick as he used to be. He's a quiet roommate, really." Harry mumbled, taking out another licorice wand and biting one end.

Hermione smiled. That was the most words he'd said to her in a long time. She had become really worried with his behavior after the war, imagining what it must've been like for Harry now that it was all over. She knew in how much pain he was that all these people were lost. With Remus and Tonks dying, she noticed he started mentioning Teddy a lot. And about Fred's death, she wasn't sure how Harry had taken that.

She knew that there was something going on with Harry. She was just waiting for him to talk to her because pressuring him always ended up in him not talking at all.

Thanks to the whole mix-up of the houses in the eighth year dorms, she was starting to get to know a lot of other students. She'd become friends with a Ravenclaw girl, and they spent a lot of time studying together for their final exams at the end of the year.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Draco announcing his presence. "Good, let's head to The Three Broomsticks then, now that you've got everything?" She said.

Draco nodded. He'd bought for himself a bag of sour apple bites and a few sugar quills along with a cylinder that had bright pink letters that read: "Pink Coconut Ice"

"What's that?" Harry asked, intrigued by the sweets.

"Fancy coconut cubes." Draco replied with a chuckle, opening the lid. "Try." He offered.

Harry reached into the tube and took a cube out, placing it in his mouth. He chewed for a bit before making a disgusted face, trying to get rid of the taste by chewing some of the chocolate bites. "It tastes awful." He gasped.

Draco laughed. "You should've seen your face, it was priceless."

Hermione chuckled at that, simply watching them interact. "Coconut isn't something you're used to, hmm?" She grinned.

Harry made a grimace but nodded. "Coconut is not my thing," He agreed.

Draco chuckled and closed the tube, putting it away into his pocket after shrinking it. He also put in his pocket the bag of sour apple bites and took out one green sugar quill, taking the wrapper off.

The three of them started heading towards The Three Broomsticks, all of them occupied with the sweets they'd gotten. Draco was religiously sucking on the sugar quill, determined to finish it before they reached The Three Broomstiks.

Harry's eyes travelled at the image of Draco sucking on the green sugar quill more than once, each time averting his eyes just in time before he could get caught. He really couldn't shake the image from his head and as they walked, it became more difficult to pay attention to the road in front of him. Draco sucking on a sugar quill was really the sight, he admitted to himself. The boy knew how to suck and he was doing a great job at it.

Harry shook his head and kept walking. He couldn't be attracted to Draco, could he? There was no way. He didn't feel any of the things that people claimed to feel when in love, and he'd never really felt in love with anyone either, as far as he could remember. Sure, he liked girls, but he never felt anything that was strong.

He was always too busy fighting, trying to end the war, trying to keep everyone safe. He sighed and lowered his head, continuing to walk by them. He was feeling somewhat better due to this trip to Hogsmeade.

He also missed spending time with Teddy. He wanted to floo to Andromeda's house but he didn't want to bother her without notice. A fire-call seemed a better idea and he could ask if she'd mind him dropping by. He decided that he'd do that as soon as he was back at the castle.

Harry didn't realize that he'd started spacing out, and even so whilst looking at Draco.

"What are you looking at?" the blond questioned, the sugar quill bobbing between his lips as he spoke, making Harry blush ever worse.

Harry felt as if his face was burning. "Nothing. Just spaced out." He muttered quickly, looking away.

Draco kept sucking on the sugar quill and soon enough they'd reached the Three Broomsticks. They all walked inside, heading towards a table.

"I'll go order for us." Hermione offered and went up to the bar without even asking them. She knew what they were having anyway, even though they were of age, it was too early to drink alcohol and butterbeer tasted nice.

Harry and Draco sat down across from each other. Draco had finally thrown away the sugar quill and Harry sighed in relief; he was starting to quetion whether it was even possible to be friends with Draco, let alone be anything else.

"It's been a long time since I've been here…" Harry muttered quietly, looking around.

Draco nodded. "Same. With everything that happened, you know… People didn't really give me a chance to come here, being the Death Eater scum and all," He said.

Harry sighed and started playing with a napkin from the container that was on the table. He fiddled with it for a bit, waiting until Hermione got back with their drinks.

"The weather's changing again these days." Draco noted.

Harry hummed. "Halloween's in two weeks," he muttered.

"Time flies." Draco said with a smile.

"Yeah, it does." Harry said, looking up again and seeing around him nervously. He didn't want anyone to start going on about how he saved the world and how he was the famous boy who lived and all those things they always said about him. He wanted to be just Harry for once, drinking a butterbeer with his best friend and Draco, discussing about stupid matters and not caring.

"So, you're interested in becoming a healer?" he asked the blond, turning to look at him. He figured that in order to be friends with Draco, he should ask about his interests to get to know him better. After all, he didn't know Draco at all.

Draco was surprised at the question."Yeah, actually I am. I've been studying a lot lately about it, and practicing spells." He said, clearing his throat and trying to hide the surprise in his voice.

Harry nodded and the conversation was interrupted by Hermione coming back to the table. "Our order will be here in a minute." She said with a smile.

"What did you get?" Draco asked.

"Butterbeers for all of us. It's going to take a few minutes though, because there are a lot of customers." She explained.

Harry couldn't shake the thoughts from his head. He was the one who said he and Draco should become friends. Hermione had told him he was nice and Draco had properly apologized at some point for the things he did. And then when Harry was in the Room of Requirement and he found out that Draco had healed him, he knew that he wasn't that bad.

He sipped his butterbeer in silence and listened as Hermione got in a conversation with Draco about something. He tried paying attention, but it sounded too complex for Harry and he just shrugged it off, looking around. And then he spotted her.

"Guys..." he whispered softly, making them stop talking.

"What is it?" Draco said in a similarly quiet voice, having sensed that something was serious in Harry's tone.

"Rita Skeeter." Harry replied silently, slightly bending his head towards her direction as he looked back at the two of them.

"What's she doing here? I thought the Ministry had her restrained." Hermione said under her breath.

"Whatever it is, she's not here for good. She better not see us." Harry muttered and looked at his drink, trying to hide his face.

Draco agreed to what Harry said. Rita Skeeter never meant any good for any of them. She'd written so much crap about all three of them, that if she saw them all gathered like this she'd write all about it in a newspaper and sell false information, thus turning even more people against all of them. He wasn't surprised that she was here.

"I say we split and leave the store one after another." Draco suggested.

"I could cast a Confundus on her while you two get out, I'll leave last." Harry said and both Draco and Hermione looked at him in disbelief. "What? You're not the only ones with a plan." He said quietly.

Hermione smiled. "Alright, I'll go first and make sure I cover my face on my way out. Her table is near the entrance, so, try to cast the spell as soon as I reach a close distance with her. Then, Draco will come out second and Harry last." She said, downing her butterbeer in a sip.

Harry nodded. "Sounds about right."

Draco sighed. "I hope your plan works, Potter." He muttered and watched Hermione getting up and pulling the collar of her coat towards her chin.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Draco asked when she left.

"Trust me." Harry said, glancing at him.

Draco nodded. "Do it, she's almost at the exit." He said.

Harry took out his wand and cast the spell wordlessly on Rita Skeeter, making her look away and get sidetracked, allowing Hermione to escape outside.

"Nice work. My turn," Draco said and got up, walking through the tables and keeping his face low, not wanting to be recognized by anyone else.

As soon as Harry saw him reaching the exit, he cast the spell again, feeling glad that it succeeded. The only thing left was him getting out. He wasn't good at glamour spells and he'd forgotten to ask Hermione to cast one, but even Rita Skeeter would be able to tell if she saw him. So, he had to count on her not seeing him. He really would hate the mess it'd create.

He sat up, leaving his butterbeer behind, and since Hermione had already told them she paid for them beforehand, he started walking slowly. He lifted the collar of his coat as well and kept his head faced towards the floor, wand at hand on his side.

He was just reaching the exit and he tried aiming at the woman, only to find out she'd left her seat. He lifted his head and looked around carefully. He was quite sure she had vanished or gone somewhere else before he heard a voice.

"Mr Potter, lovely to see you here!" a man's voice came from the bar. The man was sitting on a barstool, and he smiled at Harry. He was holding a big glass filled with dark beer, his wand at the other hand against his knee but not in a threatening position. Harry started feeling uncomfortable and he nodded his acknowledgement at the man before his way got blocked.

"Found you!" a female voice said and Harry got startled.

"Skeeter." Harry hissed. "Let me go through." He said, trying to walk past her and keep himself from shaking.

"Not so fast, little Harry." She smiled and clicked her fingers. A wizard came up to her with a camera, snapping a picture of Harry. The flash blinded him and he started feeling a knot in his throat.

"Tell us, savior-boy. What's it like, knowing you've taken down a dark wizard? Is it rewarding? Is it making your self-esteem explode?" she grinned.

"Leave me alone." Harry croaked, his throat starting to burn. There was a sudden movement that startled Harry even more, but that one was from Rita Skeeter's pen and notebook that started spewing lies on paper.

"Why are you behaving this way? I'm sure you got your revenge after all. Dumbledore used you, so many of your loved ones died, the war ended but people are still chasing Death Eaters. Come on, you must feel something!" she pressured.

Harry backed away from her, tugging on his shirt for air and starting to panic. Everything around him was starting to become blurry, and his heart was beating fast. "Leave me alone, please, I did what I had to do, I didn't want anyone to get hurt…" he muttered.

Skeeter's pen started writing furiously on the paper and the woman looked pleased. "Well, I've got one more question for you dear. Did it feel good killing You-Know-Who?" she grinned and pushed her glasses up on her nose.

"No, no, I just did what I had to do." He said, the air becoming heavy around him. He backed away even more, running into the bathroom.

He tripped and landed face first on the floor, gasping for air. "No, no, no stop…" he breathed, clutching his head.

Voices started filling his mind, and images flashed through his eyes. Green lights and screams were the main theme.

_"You think you're special because that man wanted to thank you?"  
"You've failed them again, Harry Potter. You truly have."  
"They recognized you again. Everywhere you go, they know you."  
"The great savior is nothing but a pathetic loser!"_  
"_You're the reason they're all dead!"  
"Dumbledore used you!"  
"You're a murderer, Harry Potter."_

Harry's body was shaking fully. His vision was blurred and his hands were clutching his head hard, tears sliding down his cheeks.

"Stop…" he whispered weakly, falling to his knees and trying to block out the voices.

"_Again, Harry Potter, you're recognized as the savior! Some savior! You're useless! You didn't save anyone, you let them all die! They're all dead! You just died in the middle of the battle, leaving them behind!" _

The voices kept adding to the images flashing in his head.

"Stop it already! Shut up!" he screamed, the tears blinding him, his whole existence hurting. He needed to find something sharp. He needed to cut, he needed to direct the pain elsewhere, he didn't care about his hands but his head was vibrating from the pain and he couldn't handle it any longer. He had to find a way to hurt himself on another spot so his head would stop hurting from the awful images and flashbacks and the voices. The voices were the worst part. _  
_  
The bathroom door swung open and Harry didn't even bother looking up. He tried to move to a stall from where he was sat on the floor, but instead a pair of slender arms wrapped around him tightly, holding him with his back to the person's chest.

"Shh, it's okay."

Harry turned around to look at who was holding him and saw Draco. "Make it stop, please." He whispered at the blond.

Draco seemed to nod before pulling out his wand and placing the tip of his wand at Harry's temple, muttering a spell that Harry couldn't recognize in his confusion.

Soon enough, the spell calmed him down, sending the voices and flashbacks away, leaving Harry in a shuddering state.

"Let's get you out of here, Potter." The blond whispered and helped Harry up, holding him close. He put a cloak over Harry and held him tight as he walked out. The cloak hid Harry's face and Draco had glamoured his face already.

They made it out of the store and got reunited with Hermione. "What happened to him?" she gasped, seeing Harry completely incoherent.

"Let's just get him back to the castle. I'll take care of it, don't worry." Draco reassured, holding Harry up.

Harry's whole body felt weak and he needed to be alone. He wanted to be alone so badly so he could cut, but being held up by Draco felt comforting. He hadn't felt comfort in a long time.

His eyelids betrayed him and his eyes fell closed, his body feeling numb suddenly.

"Harry?! Harry!" a voice came from far away and Harry felt himself falling. Everything blacked out.

* * *

"That evil bitch, I should've forced her into that trial from years ago when she harassed Harry the same way as now!" Hermione was shouting, a rhythmic sound of her pacing filling the room.

Harry was unconscious on his bed and Draco was sitting next to him, trying to figure out what had happened to him.

"Hermione, calm. We need to figure out what she did to him. I'll see his memories, make sure that he doesn't wake up before I finish watching them." Draco ordered before casting Legilimens on Harry, diving into his memories.

He was looking at Harry having his way blocked by Rita Skeeter and then a photographer coming up to him. He looked around at the scene, searching for people who would have a wand out or anything suspicious.

He then noticed a man on a barstool that was sitting by the bar, drinking dark beer. He had his wand out against his knee, pointing it at Harry.

Draco watched the man closely and soon enough, the man cast a spell at Harry. Stupidly enough, the man didn't do it wordlessly, so Draco could hear the spell.

He gasped as he was violently forced out of Harry's memories, gasping at the loss of the connection.

"Make it stop!" Harry was begging, clutching his head again and Draco was left on the floor, panting heavily.

"I thought I told you to keep him asleep!" he shouted at Hermione.

"He woke up and I didn't even have time to act, I'm sorry!" Hermione said in panic.

"Alright, let me just do my job." Draco said in a calmer tone and walked up to Harry. "Harry, look at me. Look at me, I'll fix this, I'll make it stop, just look at me," He said calmly and grabbed his arms softly, trying to pull them away from his head.

"Make it stop…" Harry whimpered, his eyes filling with tears.

Draco looked at him in the eyes, his cold gray ones meeting Harry's vibrant green. Harry really was in a horrible amount of pain. "_Finite incantantem_," He whispered, pressing the wand at Harry's head.

Harry's eyes calmed and his tears stopped, his body relaxing. "W-What just happened?" he breathed.

"That guy that you saw at The Three Broomsticks. He cast a spell on you. It's extremely dark magic and it's used for torturing victims with images and flashbacks of traumatizing things they've been through. It is used in victims who have had something majorly traumatizing to extract information from them whilst torturing them, offering to finish the spell if they reveal information." Draco explained quietly.

Hermione looked at Draco and sat down on a chair. "The Reminiscing Curse." She muttered.

Draco nodded. "I read about it when I was going through the chapters referring to mind healing. I've done some research on it, and the only way to end it so far is by using Finite Incantantem. The victims are usually left in a traumatized state, both their mind and body suffering from the flood of memories going through their brain."

Harry shuddered and pulled his knees to his chest, hiding his face against his knees. "Stop," he whispered weakly.

Draco swallowed hard. "I'll go get you some tea," he offered.

"I don't want tea, just leave me be!" Harry shouted, his whole body shaking again.

Draco sighed and stood up. "I'll be back in 5 minutes," He said and motioned Hermione to follow him.

"Is he going to be okay after this?" she asked as soon as they were outside, standing in the hallway.

Draco rubbed his forehead and sighed heavily. "I don't know. I've not researched it that extensively, but he'll recover. I'll make sure he does," he said stubbornly.

"You really care for him, do you?" She asked with a small smile as they walked down a set of stairs.

"No, I do not! He's my first patient. I want to become a Healer, so he's the person I'm working with for practice. I'm not experimenting on him, if that's your concern. He's got real issues he needs to deal with and if I can help whilst practicing at the same time, I won't hesitate. It's not about caring, it's about wanting to heal people." Draco argued, his face turning slightly red.

Hermione smiled. "Go get him that tea. I'll go; I've got so much to study. Our trip to Hogsmeade was fun, Draco," she said with a smile and waved goodbye at him, heading back inside, to the eighth year tower.

Draco sighed. "Can't believe she can be my friend after all I did to her…" he muttered to himself. The war had made him realize that life was more than bullying people that others told you to hate. He'd made sure to apologize to her during one of the times they'd sat together at the library, and she'd started forgiving him slowly.

* * *

Harry was curled on his side, his back to the room and his face hidden under his pillow when Draco entered their room.

"Harry?" he called softly.

Harry slowly pulled the pillow from over his head and looked over his shoulder. He saw Draco looking at him, holding a steaming mug in his hand.

"I don't want tea," he grumbled and looked away again.

"You need to drink what I got you. Do it for me," Draco said and left it at Harry's bedside table, going over to the desk the room had, taking out a book.

Harry slowly shifted and looked at Draco. The blond had sat on the desk without a word and seemed to be studying. He slowly moved, crawling on his bed towards the bedside table and looking at the drink. It seemed tasty. He took a sip and closed his eyes. The taste was good.

"Thanks." He called.

"Don't mention it," Draco said, scribbling something on a parchment.

"Are you doing homework?" Harry asked silently.

"Yes, I am. I've got a two page essay for Monday on healing spells for third degree burns and possible alternatives for non-skilled spell casters," He said, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"I'll leave you to it," Harry said quietly and kept sipping at his tea.

He already felt better. The tea had calmed him down a bit. He sat back on his pillows, bending his knees close to his stomach and holding the mug with two hands as he sipped.

Draco stayed at the desk for many hours, scribbling and deleting things, but he was honestly enjoying what he was doing.

Harry had fallen asleep, curled in a ball on his bed. He'd finished the tea Draco got for him.

Draco finally got up from the desk, having finished his essay and being quite pleased with it. He stretched his arms over his head and looked over at Harry. He'd put a bettered version of Dreamless Sleep that he'd developed, one that would allow Harry to avoid getting nightmares in his sleep.

He smiled to himself and went to his bed, starting to undress. He folded his clothes on a neat pile and placed them in his drawer, staying in only his boxers and getting under blankets like that. He stared at the ceiling for a bit, thinking of how peaceful Harry was sleeping and realizing he could keep doing it, so Harry could finally get some sleep.

He tossed around in his bed for a bit, before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: That was it! I hope you enjoyed :3  
~Ven**


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Okay, uhm, hey! I know you're gonna be like, wtf Ven, it's not even been a freaking week and you're posting another chapter? Yeah, well, I am. ^-^ I wrote this one really suddenly and I just finished it, so I didn't want to withhold it from all of you. I want to get chapters out faster and I'm trying to make into a chapter each week or two weeks, depends. I'm probably going to be really busy though due to the fact that I have two months left till the finals and I don't wanna have to take them twice cause I wanna be done with school. Anyway, I'll see what happens with my writer's block and everything. For now, enjoy! **_

**Warnings: Explicit mature stuff... *cough*sex*cough*slash*cough* Teheee :3 You guessed it. **  
**Words: ~5.700**

**Alright, so, slight spoiler, but I've made a playlist with the songs that will be playing during the Halloween Party that this chapter is all about. **  
**Here it is: **  
**w w w.(youtube).com (slash)playlist?list= PLtbr0CHj7RqC5RuuGjQEiNMI-v41EFU8t  
**  
**Just get rid of the spaces inbetween and replace the things in brackets with what it says and it should be alright! Enjoy! Don't let the playlist play until you've reached the point where Harry's leaving the dorm to go to the party. :3 Also, the playlist contains spoilers since I've added notes for which scene each song is about, so, if you want to avoid seeing spoilers early, listen to the songs after you've read the whole chapter.**

**Again, thanks a bunch to all the followers, favoriters and reviewers. It means so much to have your guys' support *heart emoji***

* * *

**Chapter 8**

* * *

Draco had been staring at the parchment far too long that morning during breakfast. The parchment he was looking at read: _"Come to our Halloween Masquerade Party! Saturday the 30__th__, at 9 o'clock, on the seventh floor! Be dressed appropriately!  
__**Only 6**__**th**__** years and above allowed**__. "_

"What are you looking at?" Hermione asked so suddenly that Draco almost jumped in his seat.

"There's a Halloween party happening in a week," he mumbled.

"Oh, where?" she asked, getting intrigued about the idea of attending a party.

"Seventh floor. The Room of Requirement. It doesn't say so, but there aren't many places they could have it at on the seventh floor, are there?" he muttered.

"You're right." She nodded and took the paper from him. "Only 6th years and above allowed? Why though?" she queried.

"There's going to be all types of alcohol, and possibly Muggle drugs. It's a good thing there's an age limit. Things could get bad," he murmured.

"You're right," she agreed.

Harry had just arrived to the table, looking roughly awoken. He sat down next to Hermione, getting himself something to eat. "What's that?" he asked, pointing at the flyer.

"There's going to be a Halloween party next Saturday, in the Room of Requirement." she smiled.

Harry's interest was sparked and he took the flyer from her hands. "So, we're only allowed to go in with a costume?" he questioned.

"According to Muggles, Halloween is all about dressing up and eating candy from strangers' houses. Costumes are going to create less diversity between students. Everyone must be dressed up or else the party would turn into the third Wizarding War, and the organizers apparently don't want that," Draco cut in before Hermione could reply.

Harry looked at him and his heart started beating faster. _Less diversity_; the words lingered like music to his ears. He could finally hide himself and be whomever he wanted, without being looked at like a hero or a celebrity and without worrying if he might get attacked. He could put a mask on. He could be another person. The idea thrilled him more than the one of sharp blades.

"You seem sceptical." Hermione said and Harry snapped out of it.

"It's a good idea. We should go, to the Halloween party," he said after a bit.

Draco grinned. "Brilliant. I'll get my own booze though, I don't trust their taste in drinks," he said.

Hermione smiled. "I wonder what all the Muggleborns will dress like," she said.

"Why?" Harry asked, his mind trying to figure it out.

"Because of the television. There's going to be some impressive costumes influenced by muggle telly, I'm sure," she said.

Draco hummed. "That's going to be fun to watch," he said.

Harry looked at Draco for a second before looking at his food again. "What are you guys going as? I've never dressed up for Halloween, maybe you guys could give me ideas," he murmured, pinching lightly a piece of toast with his fork.

Hermione stayed silent for a second before talking again. "I'm not going to tell you. You two won't tell me either. We'll just find each other there if we're lucky enough." She grinned.

"Deal," Draco said.

Harry felt as if he was going to burst. He loved this idea. That way nobody would know it was him, he'd be able to disguise himself with a spell and he'd just have to maintain that for the course of the party. He'd never felt this satisfied about going to a party, but it was his chance to be someone else, to escape himself and pretend he was someone else.

That alone thrilled him.

* * *

Saturday had finally arrived, and the school halls were nearly empty. All of the students were in their dorms, getting ready for the party, mastering spells and fixing their costumes for the big night.

Of course, the lower years created an uproar about the party having an age restriction, and some even tried aging up themselves with potions to be able to attend. The teachers ended up sending a group of twenty students -who all had ended up with white hair and long white beards- to Madam Pomfrey.

The preparations of the party had begun since the morning. Four specific students had been going all around Hogwarts, arranging the last details about the food with the house elves and making sure the teachers couldn't get access to the party, as well as informing people who had confirmed that they were attending that the party was happening in the Room of Requirement and explaining how to get in to anyone who didn't already know how to.

The years from the 6th and above were chatting and seeming excited for the party, since parties like this happened rarely to never.

Harry had been trying to perfect his disguise all evening and he'd told Draco to leave the dorm first, and that he'd follow after. They'd agreed on it, so Harry could get ready and not be recognized by Draco, and so that he wouldn't know how Draco looked like either. He also wouldn't get to see Hermione's disguise, but he thought he'd be able to guess it.

He had decided he was going to wear a pair of black trousers and a white shirt, along with a black vest above it, which was kind of similar to what he'd worn at the Yule Ball, besides the vest. He had been practising spells all night, trying to alter his face and he'd decided on dark brown eyes and straight brown hair. He'd charmed the mask he was going to wear to act like his glasses would, so he wouldn't have a problem seeing. His mask was a black one, with small green gems on the edge of one of his eyes, and a thin glass-like material that was unnoticeable.

He was quite happy with his disguise and he'd made sure to glamour the scar on his forehead, besides hiding it under his hair. He felt ready to go, so he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows, looking at himself.

Seeing the scars made his stomach ache and he felt short of breath. He leaned against the sink, since he'd been in the bathroom getting himself ready all evening, trying to take deep breaths to calm himself down. Slowly but steadily he gained his self control and cast a glamour on his scars, covering them up and sighing as soon as they were untraceable. He pushed his trousers down and did the same with the scars on his thighs, until he decided it was enough. He also made sure to hide the scar he'd gotten from Umbridge, since it was pretty remarkable and striking.

He fixed his shirt and reached for a black tie, putting it around his neck and fumbling a bit before groaning with anger. He attempted again, his hands starting to shake.

"One bloody night... Can't I be normal for one bloody night?" he huffed, trying to fix his tie and making it end up in a knot around his neck. He spelled it loose and tried again, trying to remain composed and keep his hands from shaking too much.

He finally got it tied properly, sighing silently. Since glamour spells weren't going to last for long, he'd acquired himself something the Muggles called makeup, which would cover them up as well. He didn't quite know how to use it, but he had it with him just in case. He'd made sure the scars on his hands would show first if the glamours were starting to fade so he'd know to run to the bathroom and either re-cast the spell or apply the stuff he'd gotten.

After doing a final check that everything was okay, Harry grabbed the doorknob.

"Draco?" he called.

No response came, but Harry called again to make sure the blond wasn't sleeping. "Malfoy, are you there?" he asked again.

There was no sign of sound or movement from the dorm, so Harry stepped out, looking around. It was true, Draco wasn't in the dorm. Harry felt relief, glad they'd promised to not reveal themselves to each other.

Harry went over his bed and grabbed a pair of good shoes he had with him, wearing them and stuffing a tube of something that was called foundation in his pocket, just in case he was too weak or too drunk to cast spells.

He stepped out and started heading for the seventh floor. He saw a few groups of people going up the stairs the same way he was going and he sighed. Nobody could recognize him, even if they took his mask off. He'd also found a fake name that he was going to use.

If anyone asked, he was going to say his name was John, and that he was in Slytherin. If they asked for a surname, he'd find a way out of it, although he doubted anyone would care for a surname. If the person asking was from Slytherin, he'd try and figure out a way out of that too.

As Harry paced in front of the tapestry, a small group was gathered behind him, waiting for him to activate the door.

A big double door appeared and Harry smiled as he walked in. The room was as big as the Great Hall, and people were already there. He looked around and saw a variety of impressive masks and costumes the people were sporting.

A girl had dressed up as a red fox, with charmed ears and a tail that acted based on her movements, and her outfit was stunning, making her look like a lot like a fox. Her mask even had charmed whiskers. A group of other people were dressed as characters from muggle culture, showing off "super powers" that they had that were just spells in reality, but it made the costumes believable. There were also people dressed up as zombies and robots, as well as very impressive dresses which were inspired by the Victorian Era. A few others had dressed as magical creatures, Harry noticed, because he saw a guy walking around as a centaur. He had made a fabric replica of a horse's bottom and had charmed the back legs to follow the motions of his front legs so it gave the impression of his bottom half being an actual horse. He had long dark hair that reached his chest and his skin was tanned, and Harry couldn't shake his eyes off of that guy.

He saw a lot of others were dressed similar to himself, choosing a mask and a nice suit or dress, which was relieving for Harry since he wouldn't be the odd one out once again. The room was decorated with floating pumpkins that had lit candles in them, as well as charmed paper bats going around.

He reached the buffet, looking around the abundance of food that was there, and his eyes searched for the drinks. He found the bar area soon enough and got himself a drink from there, sipping quietly. He was planning on getting drunk and nobody was stopping him.

* * *

Draco had gotten ready very early that evening. He'd been surprised by it himself, since he always seemed to take way too long to get ready when knowingly going somewhere.

His costume consisted of a white shirt and black trousers as the basic underclothes, and then over them he wore a dark green cloak that trailed on the floor behind him. He was probably going to get rid of it during the party though, so he didn't care. He had changed his hair into a darker complexion, figuring it was best to make it harder to distinguish. If anyone saw his hair, they'd know it was him in seconds, so he couldn't risk Hermione or Harry figuring out he was him. After all, they'd said they'd all disguise themselves and then try and track each other.

He'd kept his eyes their natural colour, seeing it wasn't necessary to change them and not being experienced enough to do it without blinding himself in the process. He had also made sure to hide his Dark Mark by attaching a sleeve-like piece of fabric that was charmed to be like his skin tone. He didn't want to have to renew the glamour spells every few hours, since the last time he tried doing that he ended up having to hex someone before running away to safety. He'd attached it to his skin, so if anyone touched it, it'd feel like normal skin and not like fabric. He was pretty proud of that.

He had made sure to leave the dorm whilst Harry got ready, which resulted in him leaving way too early for the party. It wasn't going to start for another two hours, so he went and sat in the library. He had chosen a similarly dark green mask for himself, and he'd already put it on, not wanting anyone to recognize him.

He stayed at the library as the time passed, studying something on creature healing. When the time arrived, he headed for the seventh floor, seeing a line of people going in the Room of Requirement.

He sighed with relief to see that most had already arrived, and he started going around, searching for his friends. For starters, low music was playing as background noise. He didn't recognize the song, but he liked it.

He searched around with his eyes and went up to a guy with a pretty impressive outfit. The guy was dressed like a famous Quidditch player whose name Draco couldn't remember right now.

"Hey." He smiled at the guy.

"Don't you think the green is too much? Unless you're pretending to be a Slytherin, then you've given yourself away already that you are an actual Slytherin." The guy chuckled.

Draco shrugged. "I've no interest in wearing any other colour, but, I might've given myself away, you're right." He grinned.

"Can I get you a drink?" the guy asked, his eyes glimmering behind the mask he was wearing under his Quidditch helmet.

"I've brought my own. We can share?" Draco said and for the first time in forever he felt like himself. He wanted to flirt with this guy.

"Awesome. I'll bring us two glasses." The guy in the Quidditch uniform smiled and walked away.

Draco caught himself smiling, really enjoying his decision. He still looked around for any sight of Harry or Hermione, but he couldn't find them. There were about 200 people there already.

He noticed four people heading to a platform that had a big table that looked an awful lot like the Great Hall teachers' table. He saw the four people sitting down on four chairs, specifically placed there, until he realized.

All four of them had dressed up as the founders. The girls were wearing long, flowing dresses for both female founders, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, and the guys were wearing long cloaks in green and red, for Slytherin and Gryffindor. Draco smiled, noticing all the details such as the house crests on the guys' chests and the diadem and cup replicas that the girls were holding. All four of them looked amazing in those costumes, and it made Draco feel a sense of pride that someone would go through so much to make such costumes.

He looked around, seeing all other types of costumes and masks. Many girls had chosen to either wear long dresses or dress up as characters from the muggle culture, while the guys had a more childish way of dressing up.

He spotted one guy though that was wearing a black vest and a black mask, holding a drink and chatting up with a guy that was dressed as a centaur. He walked up to them, greeting both of them after changing his voice slightly.

The guy in the centaur costume made a compliment about his cloak, but the guy with the black mask just stared at him in the eyes.

"Do I know you?" Draco asked, getting caught off guard by the look the guy was giving him.

The guy rubbed the back of his neck and smiled awkwardly. "No, sorry. My name's John." He replied. "It's just that your eyes are really...nice." the guy said.

"Oh, thanks. Nice outfit." He told John, smiling. He looked around for the guy he was chatting with, finding out that he was searching for him.

"If you'll excuse me." Draco said and waved at both of them, going back to the guy with the Quidditch outfit. "Sorry, I thought I'd found a friend."

"It's alright." The guy smiled. "I never caught your name?" he said.

Draco swallowed hard. "I'm..." he muttered, looking around before thinking of a name. "Nicholas. You can call me Nick, though." He said with a smile.

"Nice to meet you then, Nicholas. I'm Dean." The guy replied and Draco's brain finally clicked about who the voice he had been hearing belonged to. _Dean Thomas._

"Nice to meet you too, Dean," Draco smiled. He took out the bottle of whiskey he'd brought with him from his back pocket, unshrinking it and showing it to Dean. "Want to have that drink now?" he asked.

"Sure." Dean replied and took out the cups he'd gotten.

* * *

Harry's heart was beating fast. He'd just seen Draco. He knew it was him. He'd just come up to him and Jake, the guy he had decided to talk to after telling him how impressive his centaur costume was, and he'd recognized Draco. He could never run from these eyes. He knew the colour and texture and the way they dilated whenever Draco was excited or happy. Seeing he'd stalked him for about a full year, he could tell pretty well that it was him.

He watched as Draco complimented Jake, almost in the same fashion Harry had done, and then he turned to him. Harry swallowed hard and tried his best at changing his voice when he was talked to.

"Do I know you?" Draco asked, and Harry's heart skipped a beat. He had been staring at his eyes far too long.

Harry rubbed the back of his neck and smiled awkwardly at him. "No, sorry. My name's John." He replied. "It's just that your eyes are really...nice." he said. He cursed himself mentally for saying that, but at least Draco fell for it.

"Oh, thanks. Nice outfit." Draco said, smiling. Harry watched him as Draco looked around, as if he was searching for someone.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to go back to someone." Draco said and waved at both of them goodbye, leaving and heading away. Harry's eyes followed him before he saw him talking and laughing with a guy in a Quidditch uniform. He sighed and turned back to Jake.

"Everything alright?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, it's alright. I just thought he was someone I knew. It wasn't." He lied.

"Want to go dance over there? The music's picking up." Jake suggested.

Harry nodded. "Sure, but I need a drink. Meet me at the dance floor." He said and walked off, going up to the bar.

He grabbed a cup and got himself some drink he didn't know, downing it in one sip from the cup. He poured himself another round of the same and headed back to Jake, feeling the alcohol rushing down his throat and into his empty stomach.

He smiled as he reached Jake, starting to dance with him. Tonight he was John, and he was very good at acting like a normal person who wasn't broken or hurt.

* * *

Draco was chatting with Dean when he saw a girl approaching him with a big grin on her face.

She was wearing a beautiful purple dress and she had long brown hair. Her face was covered with a mask of the same colour as her dress, and she had a silver necklace around her neck.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" she smiled.

Draco looked over at Dean, and Dean simply nodded. He followed the girl away from Dean, and as soon as they were away she hugged him. "Your eyes gave you away, you silly Slytherin."

Draco gasped. "Hermione?!" He whispered in surprise. "Wow, you look... amazing!" he smiled and hugged her back. "I was just talking to Dean Thomas. He's actually really nice." He said with a smile.

"Oh Draco, I'm so glad you're giving people a chance." Hermione said quietly, smiling at him. "Go have fun! I'll go see if I can find Harry somewhere, or my friend from Ravenclaw." She said and waved goodbye.

Draco smiled and went back to Dean. "Sorry, that was a friend." He said.

"Don't mention it," Dean smiled and pulled Draco closer, grabbing the bottle from his hand with a chuckle and taking a big sip.

Draco grinned and took the bottle from him and also took a sip. "The music is really good, but I'm not nearly enough drunk to dance," he said.

"Neither am I, let's get drunk," Dean grinned.

They spent the rest of their time passing the bottle from one to another, giggling and talking as they went. Draco had started feeling an attraction towards the male, even though he knew who he was.

The two of them got more drinks and soon enough they were both drunk. "N-Now I'm drunk enough to dance, I think." Dean chuckled, hiccupping slightly.

"Let's go dance then!" Draco shouted. The music had gotten louder and everyone around them was moving in sync with the music. The song that was on sounded quite strange, and Draco was sure it was Muggle music, but he didn't care.

He held onto Dean as they started dancing in the frenzy of the crowd that had also started dancing around with quite the cheerful attitude.

* * *

Harry could be found dancing with Jake, laughing and jumping around with him. "This is so fun!" he shouted.

"You know what'd be more fun?" Jake grinned.

"What?" Harry asked with a giggle.

"This." Jake said and took something out of his pocket, placed it in his mouth and grabbed Harry by the back of his neck, kissing him deeply.

Harry felt as if fireworks had been lit in his mouth as Jake pushed his tongue against his, something circular touching his tongue. They kissed fervently for a while, pressing up against each other and Harry felt a lot better than he'd felt for himself in a long time. Jake held him by the waist, his other hand in Harry's hair and Harry gasped in his mouth as Jake's hand slid into his back pocket, pushing him closer. They made out for a long while, kissing each other hungrily and being pressed up against each other and Harry thought for a second that this was going to end up in sex, right there and then. He was wrong, because Jake seemed to be determined to get as much as he could out of that one snog. When they broke apart, the round object had dissolved in their mouths, making Harry mourn the loss of the soft lips of the guy.

"What was that?" he asked, having to shout as the music started getting loud again.

"It was a happy pill. It'll get us more carefree than alcohol will." Jake replied and cheered as the music got louder and lights flashed around them.

Harry started feeling lightheaded and due to the amount of drinks he'd had, he didn't care. He kept dancing with Jake, holding on to him and grinning.

* * *

Draco had started dancing more, and getting warmer by the second. He'd already gotten rid of his cloak, having hung it around on a massive hanger against the wall that had tons of coats and bags people had left there. He felt light headed due to the drinks he'd had, and Dean was helping him feel better about his awkward dancing. He wasn't familiar with muggle music, but Dean seemed to be very well educated.

As soon as another song was put on, Dean gasped. "Bon Jovi!" he shouted and started shaking his head to the music.

"What's that?" Draco asked, feeling stupid.

"It's a band, don't worry." Dean chuckled. "I'll get us some more drinks!" he shouted and left.

Draco chuckled as he waited for Dean to come back before someone bumped into him.

"Watch-" Draco went to say when he saw it was John and that other guy from before. "Hey guys!" he said.

"Having fun?" the guy with the centaur costume said.

"Yeah! How about you guys?" he asked.

"We are!" John said excitedly and Draco grinned.

"Want to have more fun with us?" the guy in the centaur asked.

"I don't even know your name." Draco replied.

"I'm Jake," the guy said.

"Nice name." Draco said and chuckled. The drink was getting to his head and he'd started feeling less embarassed and more confident.

"So, want to try one of these?" he said, and took out a blue pill with a tiny smiling face engraved on it.

"What does it do?" Draco asked.

"Gives you an andrenaline rush, that's all! Acts like a faster type of alcohol!" he said with excitement. "We've already shared one." He smirked at Draco. He leaned in and pointed at John. "He's a great kisser," he grinned.

"I'll try if he kisses me." Draco dared them.

John seemed too lost in it, starting to dance more excitedly as the music changed again.

* * *

"Alright, I'm in." Jake grinned and grabbed Harry's shoulder, pulling him close for a deep kiss before telling him what he had to do.

Harry looked at him whilst still in a haze, grinning. "What are you in for?" he asked with a chuckle. The music was really loud now.

"You've got to kiss _this_ pretty dude over here, cause he wants to try my pills." Jake grinned.

Harry's heart jumped in his chest when he realized Draco was there. "Hey you..." he smirked at Draco. His mind was fogged, so logic wasn't the first thing in his mind. The andrenaline was too much for him to feel shame in what he was about to do. "Alright!" he agreed. He was still John in their eyes.

He took the pill from Jake's hand, placing it on his tongue and walking up to Draco, chuckling like a kid. He was indeed very drunk to think or act straight.

He grabbed the collar of Draco's shirt and pressed up against him, parting his lips and his eyes falling closed. He kissed the male deeply, pushing the pill into his mouth just as Jake had done, giggling all the way.

Draco was pressed against Harry's body and Harry's hand didn't let go of Draco's collar as he kissed him passionately, his whole body melting against the other's. He felt as if he was going to explode. He pressed closer to the other male like a desperate puppy, going as far as to wrap his leg around Draco's waist. Their crotches were pressed together and Harry could tell that both of them were getting some sort of pleasure from this. Kissing Draco felt better than it'd felt kissing Jake, and he'd never had guessed. Draco stepped back after broke apart, his face seeming flustered and his pupils had dilated. Harry felt his face turning crimson and he giggled.

Soon enough, the guy he'd seen earlier came up and he had a dumbfounded look on his face. "Nick?" he said in a small voice.

"Sorry mate, we were helping a bro out. Come on, Johnny-boy." Jake smirked and pulled Harry away, giggling as they left.

Harry let himself get pulled away, feeling dizzy. The pill had melted in his mouth as well, and he was feeling more hyper and dizzy than ever.

* * *

"What the fuck Nick?!" Dean exclaimed. "I thought there was something going on between us, and you go and snog this other random dude?!" he shouted at him.

Draco was starting to feel dizzy, the lights making him extremely nauseous. "I'm sorry, he offered to give me a pill that was supposed to make my spirit higher." Draco said softly, holding his head.

"Yeah well, I'm done with this. You can go kiss that dude. I thought you bloody liked me, but all the guys I've ever been interested in are shit. Thanks for wasting my bloody time, _mate_." Dean shouted, pushing Draco away from him and walking away.

"Shit..." Draco groaned, starting to get dizzier as the music went on, feeling slightly guilty about Dean.

That guy, John, was a great kisser, but the drug they'd given him with Jake was getting a negative effect on him. His vision started getting blurry, and he felt dizzy.

He went through the crowd to go to the bathroom, trying to find his way there as he stumbled and bumped into people.

He reached the bathroom and splashed water on his face, feeling the sudden urge to make out with someone. He wanted to find John again and make out with him, but he could barely stand and he was starting to feel really hyper and energized.

He leaned against the wall, drinking some more before going out into the party. He started dancing happily, the dizziness having subsided and giving room for his libido to rise.

He fell on someone and landed on them, sprawling against their chest and feeling himself pressed against the other guy's body.

"Sorry." He chuckled drunkenly, trying to get himself up. As soon as he did, he hiccupped, losing his balance. The guy he'd bumped into was very muscular, but Draco's vision had become so blurry and since it was really dark, despite the flashing lights, he couldn't make out who it was. "Wanna fuck?" he giggled and the guy grabbed his arm, dragging him away from the crowd.

Draco cheered and followed the guy, the smile never leaving his face.

The guy took him into a room that the Room of Requirement had magically provided, which included a double bed and nothing more.

Draco couldn't react as the guy kissed him deeply, pulling him hard against him and Draco could feel a very reassuring erection against his thigh.

"Can I know your name?" he asked between kisses, not opening his eyes because it caused him to be dizzy.

"No need." The guy grunted and started undoing Draco's tie with fumbling hands.

Draco grinned and started undoing his own trousers, shoving them aside as he pulled the guy closer to him, kissing him one more time. The room they were in had no lights, so everything was done in the dark, both of them preferring it this way. The undressed each other between kisses, remaining close and soon enough, Draco felt rough skin against his own.

"Fuck me... Please fuck me..." Draco begged, reaching out to find the other. He felt something slicking his entrance and he gasped as a finger went inside him.

"Whatever you want." The guy hummed and started fingering him.

Soon enough, Draco was panting and moaning from the lust, his body shaking from need. The guy was really skilled at stretching him out it seemed because he'd managed to get three fingers in him in a matter of minutes, making sure that he was ready.

"I need you inside me, please." Draco panted, gasping softly as the other hit his prostate with his fingers repeatedly.

The guy obliged to make that happen and soon Draco felt his entrance being probed by something softer than the rough fingers that had been touching him since that time. He braced himself as the other guy started pushing inside him, going in inch by inch and Draco felt blissful. The guy stayed still for a minute and Draco knew they both needed some time to sober up a bit.

Soon, he started moving, and Draco felt himself moving with him. They began panting and the guy kissed him again deeply as he went deeper inside him. Draco felt better already and his erection was rubbing between them as the muscular male that was fucking him pressed closer to him.

They moved together in a way that Draco hadn't moved with anyone else. It felt like they fit together perfectly. But he knew he'd never find the guy again because they hadn't exchanged names, and because they wouldn't know what each other looked like due to their disguises and the darkness. He only hoped that the guy didn't find out who he was if the glamour on his features failed by morning. Although he wished that he would know, so he could make the choice to find him or send him a message.

His mind had started working properly again and he focused on what was happening at the moment. The guy was panting against him and picking up the pace as they went, fucking him harder than before. Draco gasped, his nails digging into the guy's back, pressing up against him and following his pace with eagerness.

He started feeling the strong urge to cum and he tried sliding a hand between them, only to find his stomach wet from the sweat that both of them had been producing all this time. He chuckled and reached for his own erection, making the guy grunt.

"Not now, when I'm done." He said and pushed Draco's hand away.

Draco whined but had no choice but to follow. He started becoming more eager as the pace picked up again, the guy going faster and moaning loud. Their bodies were rubbing hard against each other, the sound of skin slapping together echoing in the room. Draco hadn't had such a great experience with sex before.

"I'm gonna cum…" he panted, hiding his face against Draco's neck as he went harder and slower, pushing Draco against the head of the bed.

"Cum…" Draco whispered and bit his earlobe softly, his hands clawing at his back softly.

He panted, gasping out loud as he came, his head still hidden against Draco's neck. Draco's breaths matched the panting of the guy and he gasped as well, his body arching up. The other guy's body shuddered, and he fell weak against Draco for a second, trying to collect himself.

"I came too." Draco giggled and felt a pool of sticky fluid against his upper stomach. He'd been getting his prostate hit over and over repeatedly, and he couldn't hold out much longer. That was the first time he'd come without touching himself.

"Nice work," the stranger smirked. "Sleep now." He said and kissed him one last time before pulling out of him, some of his cum dripping against Draco's thigh.

"Will you be here in the morning? Or is it a one night thing?" Draco asked. He didn't want to seem clingy, but the alcohol was talking for him.

"I'm leaving _now."_ The other muttered, collecting his clothes from the floor.

Draco pouted and grabbed the other's arm, pulling him for a deep kiss and snogging him for a few minutes before letting go. "This was fun," he smiled and he felt his eyelids heavy, his body going weak.

"Night." The other muttered as he'd gotten fully dressed, opening the door and leaving Draco alone.

Draco curled up on his side and touched his lips, falling asleep like that.

* * *

**A/N: Soooo, I mean, that was a really really eventful chapter, wasn't it? That's what happens in parties, you know. xD Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it, tell me what you think about Draco having a one-night stand and how you felt about the Drarry kiss finally happening. I mean, I needed to make it happen, and this was the best opportunity :3**

Edit: Alright guys, so, before you charge at me with a pitchfork, ready to chop my head off, please trust that whatever happened in this chapter is going to be explained and resolved in the next two (Ch. 9 and 10). I'm sorry if I pissed you off xD There is a very very good reason why I did what I did here, and you'll see why, I promise you, it'll feel so amazing when you see what'll happen in the next two to three chapters. Please be patient and don't hate me :3

**Thanks for reading! Chapter 9 will be up as soon as I write it.**  
**~Ven**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Helloooo! It's been a week, and so I finally finished this chapter. _(No, I did not write the 4 thousand words I needed in order to finish this chapter in the span of 2 hours, what are you talking about, pffftttt)_ I was really sick during last week and the weekend, so, apologies for not posting this on Sunday. Anyway, this chapter is quite a cutesy/feelsy one, it'll make you like Draco and forget all about that little slip he had at the party, yeah? Pls don't hurt meh. Jk jk xD But yeah, here's chapter 9 for all of you dedicated Drarry diehards. I love all of you for the amazing support you've given this story, it means the world to me. You guys are the reason I keep writing this story, honestly *heart* **

**Warning(s): None for this chapter. Only, beware, extreme cuteness ahead. **

**Words: ~5.500 **

**Enjoy! Also, be patient, it'll be explained soon who the culprit of the anti-Drarry crime was. :P **

* * *

**Chapter 9**

* * *

Harry opened his eyes the next morning, a headache being the first thing to greet him. He groaned and got out of bed slowly, his hand pressed to his forehead. He stood, stretching his back and heading for the bathroom. He desperately needed a shower from last night because even he couldn't stand how awful he smelled at that point.

He got in the shower and let the water fall on his naked form before memories from the previous night hit him. The vividness of the memories almost made him slip. Flashing lights, drinking, drugs, loud music; he wasn't used to parties.

"I kissed... I..." he gasped, losing his balance and falling at the front, his hands just barely preventing him from hitting his head on the wall. He turned off the water and tried holding himself up.

He could remember that he'd danced a lot. He'd gotten drunk and taken drugs, plus he'd kissed that guy Jake, and also Draco. He'd done a lot of other things he didn't want to remember, and his head throbbed even more from the thoughts.

He started the water again, closing his eyes and starting to furiously rub himself clean, not even caring if he was scratching his body with the wash cloth he was using. He cleaned himself thoroughly, making sure that there was no trace of last night anywhere on him, rushing out of the shower and heading back in the room.

He sat down on the bed, a towel around his thighs. His head still hurt.

"Why the fuck did I kiss Malfoy?!" he exclaimed at no one in particular, getting up angrily and going to his trunk, picking out a few clothes and getting dressed quickly, not knowing what more to do.

It was true, he had enjoyed it. He still remembered how soft Draco's lips felt on his own and how the blond had reacted to Harry's body and touches. He could feel vividly the crashing of their lips as they pressed against each other. He had felt electricity when he'd kissed him, and he knew it was so wrong but it'd felt so right.

When it all came down to it, he knew he shouldn't have done it. He hadn't thought about liking Draco at all, but that wasn't his problem. His main problem was that he wasn't ready for a relationship, and he certainly didn't want to fuck it up if he were to tell Draco that he used a fake name and identity and drugged him through a kiss and that it was the most alive he'd felt in a long time.

His hand reached up to his lips and he touched them lightly, closing his eyes and trying to remember what else had happened with the blond. He knew he'd done so many other things, and the only witness was probably Jake. But he had no idea who Jake was in real life, plus, he wasn't sure if the guy would treat him differently if he found out his true identity and name. Besides that, he knew that Jake probably was messing around with the drugs, so there was the chance of him not recognising him, or denying everything that happened between them as well.

He sighed and fell back on the bed, his hand never leaving his mouth. He licked his lips and his fingers pressed down on the places Draco's lips had touched. He felt himself blushing and he suddenly got up again, shaking his head.

"I'm not in love. It was nice, but I can't do that to him. I was affected by the drugs and alcohol, that's it. That's all there is to it, I was being another person. I won't tell him." He muttered to himself.

At that point a messy haired Draco Malfoy walked in the dorm, looking like a right mess.

"Won't tell who?" Draco asked and Harry felt himself turning crimson.

"Uh... Anthony from the Quidditch team... I won't tell him that I want to be in the team." He lied, knowing his face was probably matching the Gryffindor crest's colour.

"Why not? You're great up there." Draco said.

"I just don't want to, okay?" he said and looked at Draco. "What happened to you?" he asked.

It was Draco's turn to get some colour on his cheeks. "I uh... Some stuff happened. I drank a little bit too much it seems." He said with a laugh that wasn't convincing at all. He was hiding something, but so was Harry, so who was he to judge?

"I see." Harry said.

Draco nodded. "Is there any hot water left?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just took a shower." Harry replied.

Draco nodded. "Alright." he said and left the room, heading for the shower.

Harry sat on his bed with a sigh, holding his head. He needed to remember anything else that had happened last night. He groaned angrily, clenching his fist. He had to get over that hangover first.

He needed to get out of there before Draco came back. He couldn't stay in the same room with Draco. He knew he'd deceived him with that kiss, and he couldn't face Draco.

"I'm going to... the library." He called through the door, grabbing his bag before Draco could respond.

He rushed out of the dorm, running up the stairs and heading for the Astronomy Tower instead. He needed to be somewhere quiet with his thoughts.

As soon as he reached the tower he sat down, taking deep breaths. He stood suddenly, walking towards the edge of the tower and holding on to the metal bars. He took a deep breath and tried calming his breathing as he thought things over.

He had pretended to be someone else and he'd kissed Draco. And the worst part was that he loved it. He hadn't wanted it to happen this way. He wasn't sure if he'd ever do it again, to be fair. If he told Draco, it'd all be over.

Harry's main concern was worrying Draco. He himself wasn't in a good place, and he didn't want to hurt anyone by his random mood swings and depression. He knew already that Draco cared for him, even if it was in a professional level. He knew that Draco had seen his wounds two times already and had helped him out both times. He was well aware of how close they were starting to get, and he couldn't handle it.

If Draco ever found out that it was him who had kissed him, he doubted that Draco would stay. Draco probably wouldn't want to be with him, because Harry was broken; because Harry was finding life in death, because Harry was unable to feel anything else besides pain and emptiness. He wouldn't be able to show him any type of affection in his situation, and Harry didn't want to hurt Draco because he himself was hurting.

He looked down at the endless height and saw the courtyard and the rest of castle, starting to contemplate how much damage he could do if he fell. There was a forest that could prevent his fall though, and if he did fall, he'd end up in the most public place, causing trouble to everyone else. He didn't want that.

He shook his head and backed away from the railing, grabbing his bag and heading downstairs again. He reached the dorm again, not having anything better to do.

When he stepped in he heard a shuffle and a spell being cast, Draco's curtains getting drawn closed rapidly.

"Sorry, were you getting dressed?" Harry asked, looking away.

"Y-Yeah, kind of. Do you mind going down to the Common Room? I'll be there in a few minutes as well," Draco's reply came from behind the curtains and Harry felt himself blushing.

"Yeah, I'll go." He said and closed the door as he left the room, leaning against it for a second. He may or may not have just walked in at the most inappropriate moment. He sighed and went down the stairs.

The Common Room was empty, so Harry didn't have to worry about anyone chatting to him about the past. Their tower was modified so that they still had a common room and then on the floor above it were the students' rooms. All and all, the eighth year students were so little in number that they had to create an area for them to live in so they could repeat their seventh year and graduate from Hogwarts. It looked quite neutral, since all four houses were joined in one tower. Only the dorms were decorated accordingly.

He walked over to the set of couches and sat down, looking at the burning fireplace. He sighed and leaned towards the heat, closing his eyes. He had to keep his mouth shut about the party and being around Draco wouldn't help.

He looked at the fire for a long while, before he got an idea. He got up from the couch and sat on the floor in front of the fireplace, starting a fire call to Andromeda. He put his face in the fire, waiting for her to answer.

"Harry? What a surprise." Andromeda said with a gentle smile.

Harry smiled back at her. "Hi Andromeda." He said. "How are you? Has Teddy grown too much from when I last saw him?" he asked.

"He's already crawling and attempting to stand up, even though he's only six months old." She said with a chuckle.

A baby's giggle was heard and Harry saw Teddy crawling up to Andromeda. "Hey little man." He smiled.

Andromeda picked him up, holding him in her arms. "He's been looking for you. You left a shirt here, and he's been sleeping with it, and every letter we exchanged he just knew it was you. Do you have any breaks soon?" she said gently.

"I could Floo there today, I just have to let Professor McGonagal know, that's all." Harry replied.

"Alright, you can stay for dinner and floo back to Hogwarts, if you want." She suggested and Harry felt his heart lightening.

"I'll be there as soon as I have arranged everything with the headmistress then." He said.

Teddy seemed to try and reach out towards the fire, giggling at Harry. Harry ended the fire call and sat on his knees, his eyes watering. The only thing he needed to make him happy was that little toddler. He got up and turned around, stopping in his tracks.

"Draco." He said, seeing the blond standing at the stairway.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." The blond replied with a sympathetic smile, walking up to Harry and looking at him. "Are you going over to Andromeda's then?" he asked.

Harry was taken aback. "Y-Yeah, I am. I've missed Teddy and she invited me over for dinner." He said.

Draco hummed and looked at floor. "Is there any way I could come with?" he asked and Harry thought he heard wrong.

"Come again?"

"Can I floo to her place with you? I haven't met her, neither Teddy, and they're the only sane family I have left," the blond muttered.

Harry blinked. This was the opposite of what he'd expected. He originally wanted to get away from him, so he could avoid blurting out that he was the one who kissed him as much as possible. But he understood that Draco must have started feeling lonely, and now the icy front that the blond was keeping had started to fade slowly.

"If you want to go on your own, go. I don't mind." Draco said, clearing his throat and looking away.

"We'll have to tell McGonagal that we're leaving, otherwise she won't let you come with me, adults or not." Harry said finally, sighing. He didn't have any family left, and with Teddy being his godson, he felt a lot closer to Andromeda, as if she was also family.

Draco looked at him and nodded. "I'll go get my coat then." He said and disappeared up the stairs, making Harry sigh.

* * *

Draco ran into the room, searching around for his shoes and his coat, shifting his things around. He hadn't seen any of his relatives in such a long time, and since Harry was talking with Andromeda, he knew she was a good person. He had wanted to meet her, ever since before the war, but he never got the chance.

He was so ecstatic that he almost forgot all about the previous day. He kept searching around, finally finding his coat and putting his wand in his pocket and rushing out of the room. He was finally going to meet his aunt, and his little cousin. He'd never felt such joy over meeting family, but he knew that ever since the end of the war, he could tell apart very obviously the good family members, and most of them were dead before he had the chance to properly meet them.

He hadn't realized the huge grin he had on his face until Harry pointed it out. "What's the smile for?" the Gryffindor asked and Draco's smile disappeared.

"Nothing, I was just remembering something funny. Let's go," he said, putting up his cold front again.  
Draco followed Harry to the Headmistress's office, waiting until they were let in.

"Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Potter. What a surprise," the woman smiled, offering them a seat.

"Professor, is it okay if we floo over to Andromeda Tonks's house for dinner? She's invited me over, and Draco wanted to join me too," Harry spoke and Draco waited for the response eagerly.

McGonagal looked at them both, sighing. "You're both adult wizards, you may go. But, you must be back before midnight, and come through the floo in my office," she said.

Draco bit his lip to keep himself from screaming happily, his lips twitching upwards to a small grin.

"Thank you, Headmistress." Draco said. They both started to move towards the exit, planning on leaving the office before she stopped them.

"Where are you going?" she said sternly.

"To find a fireplace that's open, Professor," Harry said.

She stood from her chair and pointed at the fireplace, making the fire disappear with a flick of her hand. "I suppose you didn't think of using mine?" she said and both the boys looked at her in silence.

Draco walked back to the fireplace with Harry following him, looking at the top of the fireplace to find the floo powder. He spotted it and handed a handful to Harry before standing still. "You go first." He told Harry.

Harry nodded and said goodbye to their Headmistress as he walked into the fireplace, throwing the floo powder and speaking loud and clear where he wanted to go. Green flames enveloped him and in the blink of an eye he was gone.

"Be back by midnight," McGonagal reminded them.

"Yes madam." Draco said and nodded his acknowledgement at her, following Harry.

* * *

Harry landed squarely on Andromeda's living room, dusting himself off as he stood. "Andromeda?" he called and soon she came into the living room, hugging him gently.

"It's been a while." She smiled.

A crashing sound made them both turn to look at the fireplace, seeing Draco trying to collect himself from the floor.

"And who's this?" she asked, helping Draco up.

"Oh, right, you probably don't remember me. I'm Draco. Draco Malfoy, Narcissa's son." Draco said, sticking his hand out for her.

She seemed to be frozen up for a bit before she pulled him into a tight hug. "It's so good to see you again." She murmured and smiled at both of them. "You're such a handsome young man, just like Harry." She said. "I'll make us some tea." She offered quickly, leaving the living room.

Harry sighed quietly and turned to look at Draco. He looked ecstatic.

"Everything alright?" Harry asked.

Draco went to reply but a childish giggle echoed as Teddy crawled fast in the living room, having heard Harry.

Harry made a happy noise and fell on his knees, stretching his arms out for Teddy and grabbing him as soon as Teddy reached his arms. "Here's my favourite little godson," Harry cooed and hugged Teddy gently, holding him close.

Draco stared at the two of them before Harry noticed. He rubbed his nose with Teddy's and the baby giggled, reaching for Harry's fringe with his small fingers.

"This is Teddy." Harry said and stood up, holding Teddy in his arms. "He's grown a lot since the last time I saw him," he said proudly, showing him off to Draco.

Draco seemed to be standing still as Harry approached him with Teddy, and he didn't make a move to reach out to hold him either. "He looks interesting." He said.

"I doubt a six month old is interesting the way you mean it. He can't hold a sophisticated conversation like you, after all." Harry said sarcastically.

Draco was surprised. "Potter, this is the first time you've been honestly sarcastic in… well, in a long time." He said.

"Well, and you seem to have softened up. Let's go to the kitchen and help out with the tea." Harry said and held one arm under Teddy, his other supporting the baby's back.

Draco followed him shortly after, getting over his first shock of surprise.

"Anything we can do to help?" Harry said and kept holding Teddy, who seemed astonished by the sweater he was wearing.

Andromeda shook her head. "It'll be ready soon. You could help with dinner, if that's okay? It's been a while since I've had people over for dinner," she said. "Of course, Molly visits, and we have tea all the time, but she never stays. She still has to look after her family, after all." She said with a smile.

"I haven't seen Mrs Weasley since..." Harry started but dropped his sentence. It'd been since the war. Of course they'd exchanged letters and she made sure to ask if he was okay; she was from the people that had fire called him when he was in Grimmauld Place.

Andromeda nodded. "I know dear, I know. I'd ask her to come over, but she seemed to be having some troubles with Ginny lately." She said and Harry felt his heart clutching.

"Ginny..." he murmured. He shook his head. "I'm sure she's fine. She's a strong woman." He said and dismissed his thoughts. He was trying so hard not to break down in front of any of them. He didn't want to burden anyone with it anyway.

Draco gasped suddenly as Teddy had grabbed his tie, fascinated by the green and silver colours, giggling quietly. Harry hadn't even noticed that with Draco standing next to him Teddy had made his way over to Draco and was being barely held up by Harry's hand.

Harry chuckled at the sight, gently pulling Teddy's hands from the tie as Draco held the tie so it wouldn't choke him.

"He's quite strong." Draco commented and Andromeda hummed.

"He took after his mother. She was walking by seven months and talking by fifteen months old. Special child," she said, sighing as the kettle started sizzling, indicating that the water had boiled.

Harry kept holding Teddy as the baby struggled to reach Draco's tie again. "How come you didn't change into something else? Your uniform will get taken apart by Teddy if you let him." He noted and Draco sighed.

"He can't be helped, right? Babies are strange." Draco muttered.

"Tea's ready." Andromeda said and charmed a tray to follow her as they went to the living room, sitting down on the couches.

Draco sat next to Harry and Harry let Teddy sit on his lap as he waited for his tea to cool down.

"So, Draco, you must have been through a lot as well, right?" Andromeda asked.

Draco nodded. "Yeah, having the Dark Lord living in my house wasn't very... pleasant." He said.

'Try having him in your head.' Harry thought, but regretted it.

"How's my sister? Do you see her that often?" she asked.

Draco stiffened suddenly. He had just reached out for his cup of tea, but instead let go, looking at the floor. "I haven't seen my parents since the war. I ran away from home in the summer and went to live with a friend. But then, she got killed by... Death Eaters." He explained, talking as if just the name itself made him uneasy.

"I see." Andromeda replied and sipped her tea without another sound.

"Father got imprisoned again, last month. They found him in the outskirts of France, trying to get on a train to Romania. But I haven't heard from mother in a while. She's probably hiding somewhere, although if she could explain, she would probably be let out. She didn't do nothing besides look out for me." He continued, holding his mug in mid-air.

Harry turned to look at the blond. He had no idea what had happened in the Malfoy family. He hadn't seen them in Draco's trial, which he found strange, but since he'd gotten Draco out of trouble, he felt no need to search for his parents. He was glad that Lucius had gotten imprisoned; what he did to his son and wife was inexcusable.

"Still, I'm glad they caught him." Draco said and ended the conversation at that.

All three of them stayed quiet after that, the sound of the fire bouncing off the walls as it filled the room. Soon they changed subject, discussing about Quidditch and school instead.

* * *

It was still quite early, and Andromeda at some point excused herself to go start dinner, saying she'd call for the boys to help her when she'd get to cooking the steaks she'd bought.

"Cub, stop that." Harry scolded as Teddy insisted on playing with Harry's sleeves, having sprawled on the couch between him and Draco, cooing and making soft sucking noises as he sucked on Harry's sleeve.

"He's persistent as well." Draco noted.

"I spent almost all summer with him. He's cute, but sometimes he just makes it too much." Harry said quietly.

Draco nodded and looked at Harry in silence. He wasn't sure if it was the warmth of the fireplace or the atmosphere between the two of them or Teddy being there, but he felt as if he could relax and feel like home. He hadn't felt any place like home since he was 11. Since he had to go to Hogwarts, no other place felt like home anymore. But the fire and the plate with biscuits that were left untouched and Harry sitting there besides him, playing with Teddy felt fulfilling somehow.

Harry stood up and Draco looked at him. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"Going to bring Teddy one of his chewing toys, otherwise he'll rip a hole through my sweater." Harry said and left, leaving Teddy on the couch next to Draco.

Teddy sat up and looked at Draco with big eyes, his small hands reaching out for Draco.

"Aaa..." Teddy called as he threw his hands forward, moving closer to Draco on the couch.

Draco tried to pull away, but something stopped him. Babies were harmless, after all. He braced himself and tried picking up Teddy, hoping he wasn't hurting him. He wasn't sure how to hold him at all, he'd never interacted with a baby before, and he wasn't a natural, like Harry seemed to be, either.

Teddy giggled as he got picked up, stretching his legs out as Draco held him from his upper body, the baby's hands sticking close to his chest. Draco gasped at the noise, almost dropping Teddy before he put him down again. Teddy had other plans; he grabbed onto Draco's arm and wouldn't let go, no matter what Draco did. He even offered Teddy a biscuit, but the baby just kept giggling as he held on to Draco's hand.

"Geez, you're a little troublemaker, aren't you?" Draco sighed and his lips curled upwards to a small smile. He held Teddy from under his hands steadily, and lifted him a bit from the couch, bringing him over his lap so that he was more comfortable and watching as Teddy giggled and moved his feet in the air.

Draco started chuckling and soon he and Teddy were both filling the living room with laughing sounds, as Draco kept lifting Teddy slightly as he held him above his lap, then placing him back down. He hadn't felt such joy in a simple act in a long time.

Harry walked into the living room, finding Draco being cradled by a giggling Teddy who was flailing his arms and legs in a small distance from Draco's lap, and Draco seeming in absolute glee.

"Well, well, if it isn't the melting ice prince." Harry smirked and sat down next to them.

Draco chuckled and put Teddy back down next to him on the couch, not realizing he had a huge smile stuck on his face. "He's very very strange and so persistent." He said.

"No kidding." Harry said and stroked the small tuft of hair Teddy had grown, smiling fondly. "He's the only one who managed to make me smile, even at my worst." He whispered, pulling Teddy for a hug and handing him a green chewing toy. As soon as Teddy spotted it, he started chewing on it, making keening sounds.

Draco watched him before looking at Harry. "Are you feeling better?" he asked softly, not sure how to approach the matter.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, his smile fading.

"I mean... You've been doing progress, right? I took away the blades and I haven't had to rush you to the hospital wing either." Draco said quietly.

Harry looked away and hummed. "I don't see much progress, but, I guess yeah."

"I've noticed you've started eating again, as well." Draco said, but soon regretted saying it.

Harry gave him an odd look. "You've been watching me?" he asked suddenly.

Draco shook his head. "No, I wasn't. I just noticed. You always skipped breakfast and lunch, and only came down for dinner. Now you show up to all three. It means there's progress, even if it's minor." He explained, not wanting to offend Harry.

Harry looked at Draco in the eyes and took a deep breath. "Thanks." He whispered.

Draco understood his situation. Going through so many things each year eventually had bottled up inside Harry and he had no let out. He'd always been expected to be calm, helpful and understanding. Part of him knew that that was in Harry's nature, but another part of him wished he hadn't judged Harry so early, and that Harry hadn't judged him as well.

"I have read so many things about mental illnesses, and I honestly, truly want to help. You don't have to go to a "crazy doctor" or whatever, I know enough already to know how to diagnose you." Draco said after a bit.

Harry shuddered. "I don't want to talk about it, Malfoy." He'd gone cold again.

Draco attempted once more, inching closer to Harry. "You suffer from PTSD as the Muggles call it. The initials are Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's quite easy to spot; I went through it too, but in a much lighter way. You've had so many things happen to you throughout the years. Almost all the family and authority figures you looked up to ended up dead due to the war, and You-Know-Who was messing with your head as well. There's also so many fake rumours surrounding you and everyone else, people blaming you for the deaths of others because you were the only witness. But it isn't your fault, Harry. There's nothing you could've done." He said calmly, keeping his voice at a low level.

Harry's shoulders started to shake. "Enough." He breathed through clenched teeth and Draco put his hand on Harry's shoulder, starting to trace small circles that would relax him.

"I didn't mean to bring it up so suddenly. You can trust me, Harry. You're my first patient, after all. I want to help people for once." Draco said quietly.

Harry tried to reach up to his shoulder to move Draco's hand away, but he let him, letting out a small sigh. "Everything blames me for it. I didn't want to come back from the dead. But I couldn't leave just like that. I had things to take care of. And then I murdered Voldemort. And everyone was congratulating me for it, and I didn't know why." He whispered, his voice trembling.

Draco kept rubbing circles into his back in a soothing rhythm. He had read that a small, concentrated caress would help the patient calm their breathing and eventually their brain. "When did you first harm yourself?" he asked, knowing he was stepping on a minefield.

"A few weeks after the war." Harry replied quietly.

"You're doing very good Harry, keep going." Draco encouraged him gently.

"I felt as if nothing was good enough. I broke up with Ginny and I felt nothing. I died and came back from the dead, I saved people, but still...nothing." he whispered, his voice now breaking. "I could've saved them, Draco. I could've stopped it, but instead I just wasted time in the woods." He breathed, his heartbeat increasing.

"Look at me." Draco said gently and Harry slowly looked up. "Take a deep breath from your nose, keep it in for a few seconds, then let it out from your mouth. Like this," he said, showing him what to do.

Harry did as he was told, obviously biting back tears. He did it a few times before he seemed to calm. Draco checked his pulse, seeing he'd started calming down again. "Why am I always so angry?" he asked.

"Because there's things that have happened to you that you've kept inside for far too long." Draco explained.

"You'll be a great healer, you know?" Harry said with a shy smile, not noticing that Teddy had been moved to their side and Draco had moved closer to him, still rubbing small circles into Harry's shoulder blade.

Draco chuckled. "I didn't do much." He said.

"You're just being modest." Harry said softly and leaned back on the couch, exhaling a breath of air he was keeping.

Draco watched him for a second, moving his hand away and letting him diffuse on his own. "You reckon you can do this once a week?" he asked.

Harry nodded. He fell silent for a minute, thinking of the previous night. He knew he wasn't fit for a relationship, and he'd hate himself even more if he ended up hurting Draco, but the thought of kissing Draco again was tempting. He had actually thought of it a lot during their visit there, not realizing how much he'd enjoyed it. He mentally slapped himself, but he also was glad he'd gotten distracted from the previous talk they had.

"Draco, I..." he started but Andromeda cut him off as she walked into the living room.

"Do you guys still want to help with dinner? I've made the appetisers; all that's left is cooking the steaks now. Tell me how you want them." She said with a smile.

"Medium cooked for me." Draco said with a smile, getting up from the couch. "I'll help set the table." He said and walked to the kitchen with her, asking where the dishes were at.

Harry sighed. It had been a close call. The thought of Draco's lips wouldn't leave his mind anytime soon. He just had to keep it a secret for now.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**Again, you'll soon find out about what you've been wondering: Who's the guy that Draco had sex with?**  
**Just you wait :3**

**Chapter 10 will be out in a week, or two, depending on my studying as well. Thanks for reading :3**


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Heeyy... I'm so sorry I haven't posted but things have gotten a bit crazy lately. I was also too scared to post this chapter because I didn't find it good enough... Anyway, enjoy nonetheless.**_

**Words: 4, 300~  
Warning(s): None for this chapter**

**Read and review, also thank you to those who have reviewed so far, you guys are lovely *heart***

* * *

**Chapter 10**

* * *

Harry was still sat on the couch as Draco and Andromeda were helping each other fix the table and put all the plates on the table. He was sitting cross legged; his head was leaned back against the couch and tilted towards the ceiling, sighing softly. It was only 5 pm, they had plenty of time till midnight.

He closed his eyes and breathed slowly for a few minutes, needing to calm his nerves. He'd never said those things to anyone else, and he had no idea why he'd said them to Draco, but he had, and now the memories wouldn't stop flooding his head.

He winced as he felt a hard grip on his arm, looking down to see the cause of it. Teddy was gripping his hand tightly, looking up to him, his other hand reaching out for Harry.

"What's wrong, cub?" he asked softly and pulled him on his lap, gently hugging him.

"Daaa!" Teddy replied and Harry chuckled.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

Teddy's eyes seemed to shine and he reached more for Harry. "Aa!" he called.

Harry smiled and stood up, holding Teddy against his chest with his arm securely wrapped around him. "Someone's hungry." He said as he went into the kitchen.

Andromeda chuckled. "He'll have to wait, I need to get the steaks out of the fire first." She grinned and took hold of the tongs, flipping the steaks.

Draco was leaning against the counter, watching with interest as she cooked the food. The table was already equipped with paper towels and cutlery. There were five chairs around the table, but a white high baby chair stood out the most between the dark oak chairs and table. The linen tablecloth was neatly placed over, the plates all shining on the table. The sun was already low, beginning to set.

Harry looked back into the kitchen, finding Draco staring at him. "What?" he asked.

Draco seemed to want to say something but he dismissed it, shaking his head.

"You two get the big plates, and someone bring me the dishes to put the steaks in." Andromeda instructed.

Harry took the roasted potatoes with one hand, still holding Teddy with the other, and Draco got the bread and sauce cups. They both placed them on the table accordingly and shared a look again. Draco's mouth seemed to open only to close.

"I'm assuming you want to say something that's connected to what we talked about before?" Harry said softly.

Draco nodded. "We'll talk more when we're back at school." He said.

Harry agreed. It was better that way.

They both went back into the kitchen, helping with the rest; Draco brought a big jug of water and almost crashed into Harry. "Sorry." He muttered as he walked to the table.

"Something seems to be troubling him." Andromeda said quietly as she took the steaks out from the fire and put them on a plate. She handed the plate to Harry and he nodded. "Yeah." He hummed.

He handed the steaks to Draco and went to help with whatever was left, and soon they all settled on the table. Harry sat next to Teddy, across from Andromeda and Draco, so he could feed him.

Andromeda thanked them for coming over before they all started eating. Draco started cutting his steak and reached for some potatoes whilst Andromeda helped Harry with Teddy's bib.

"Are you sure you don't want me to feed him? I only started feeding him solid food a week ago, he's been responding very good to it." She said.

Harry shook his head. "I'm fine, I've looked after babies before." He said with a smile as he stroked Teddy's hair, giving him a potato with the plastic spoon Andromeda had for Teddy.

Teddy opened his mouth and made a keening noise as he started eating the potato, getting a bit on the edges of his mouth.

"You're really good with babies." Draco noted.

Harry shrugged. "I've babysat a lot for Muggle neighbours in the past, that's all." He said as he started eating from the potatoes he'd served for himself, picking a few small ones and putting them in Teddy's plate.

Draco seemed interested in the subject. "Why?" he asked.

Harry sighed as he poked his steak, getting his glass and drinking some water. The sun had already set by that time and the darkness made it impossible to see anything outside. The lights flickered as Andromeda made them brighter with a flick of her wand.

"I needed the money. The Dursley's wouldn't give me any money to get things for myself. Whenever I could, I got small jobs for the neighbours so I could have some money to leave from the house, but I never had enough. They either stole it away from me or I bought something to eat for myself when I was sent for shopping," He muttered as he started eating.

Draco had no idea that it had been that way for him. "So, they didn't treat you very well?" he asked.

Harry shook his head, refusing to look at him. "Not particularly." He replied, biting into a piece of steak.

Draco was persistent. "Yeah, but why did they do that?" he asked.

Harry's body seemed to be gradually getting stiffer, his hand tensing around his fork.

Teddy decided to cut in by calling out for Harry again. "F-Fooo..." he said, drooling a bit.

"He's very talkative today, aren't you little cub?" Harry sighed and put another potato in the spoon, offering it to Teddy. The baby started chewing the potato with a focused look on his face.

Andromeda smiled. "He's such a sweetheart. He reminds me so much of Nymphadora..." she said and sighed.

Harry hummed. "He's a lot like her. But he's got a lot of Remus's characteristics, like his eyes," he added.

Draco sighed. He knew he should've probably kept his mouth shut about everything, but the questions were starting to eat him alive. There was so much of Harry's past he didn't know of. He always took for granted that what he saw at school was what was happening at home as well. He remembered just how cheerful Harry was in his first year, and as the years progressed Harry became more and more mature and quiet for his age. He knew that was due to the fact that a lot of people had died, wishing he could talk with Harry about it a bit more.

* * *

The conversation picked up again after a while, with everyone silently eating. They talked about various topics, and Draco made an effort to get to know his aunt a little better.

"So, how's Minerva McGonagal? I heard she's Headmistress now, but I never got the chance to send her an owl it seems." Andromeda said, drinking some wine she'd poured for herself.

"She's doing alright. Dealing with everything on her own, you know." Draco said gently.

Andromeda nodded. "Understandable. It's not easy being placed in the place of someone irreplaceable." She said.

Draco hummed. "Yeah, but she's irreplaceable in her own way as well. There's no teacher or headmistress like her," He replied.

Andromeda chuckled. "You're right."

Draco looked around at the room and sighed, leaning back on his chair. "I'm full," he announced.

"Yeah same," Harry murmured in agreement, looking over at Teddy. He was still lively and shaking his hands towards Harry, this time asking to be picked up.

"Looks like it's time for his evening nap. I'll go put him to sleep," Andromeda said and stood, waving her wand at the dishes and making them go in the sink, putting away all the leftovers in one plate. She then took Teddy out of his chair and held him with his face on her shoulder, lightly patting his back.

Harry smiled fondly as she turned to walk away and he saw Teddy burping softly before sleepily rubbing his one eye.

Draco watched as Andromeda walked away, before turning his attention to Harry again.  
"You really are bonded with him," he remarked.

Harry turned to look at him. "He's like my little brother," He said and stood up, walking out of the kitchen and going in the living room.

Draco followed him, sitting down on the couch next to Harry. They both sat on two ends of the couch, looking at the fire in front of them. Draco looked around in the living room. It was decorated lightly and with aesthetically appealing items. The wall was painted a warm cream shade of beige, and a large portrait was hanging from it, showing Andromeda with her husband and daughter. Draco sighed, and kept looking around the living room. The fireplace was still lit, warming the living room nicely and a big window was right across from the living room. The room was quite big, so when Draco saw the piano sitting right in front of the window, he wasn't surprised. He sat up, walking towards it.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked as he turned his head, following Draco with his eyes.

"I'm going to play the piano," Draco said, as if stating the obvious. Well, it was quite obvious to him.

He sat down in front of the piano, gently opening its fallboard. He stretched out his arms and closed his eyes. He started playing, letting his fingers do the work. Ever since he was little he'd been acquired to learn two things. Learn French, and play the piano. Since his family followed the aristocratic values, they made sure he got excellent knowledge of both. He was fluent in French by the age of five years old, and he used to learn a lot of classical Muggle pieces in his free time. Even though his parents had forced on him to hate Muggles and Muggleborns, he couldn't stop falling in love with the way they created music and literature so very elegantly. He became a fan of literature during his fourth year at Hogwarts, when he stumbled upon a novel that he found very interesting. The book talked about a dystopian world where the protagonist lives in a province that exists in a world of omnipresent government surveillance that manipulates the public and is governed by a political system that persecutes individualism and independent thinking. It was of course written by a Muggle author, so Draco had to keep it hidden. When his father found out, he set his copy of the book on fire, telling him to stop reading "muggle crap" and gave him a book about Dark Magic instead. Draco had no option besides obeying, and he soon found himself getting intrigued more and more by Dark Magic and the power it held. Although, by the time he reached the age of sixteen, he had started to understand a lot more. He was cunning and always after power, but he realized that the power he was after was deadly. He started fearing for his life so much that every step he took he had to look if someone was following him.

He eventually moved on from the prejudices and beliefs his father had forced upon him, and finally became his own person, starting to form his own. He was still stubborn and eager to learn, making himself competent in order to become a proper Healer. He had acquired the habit of wanting to learn and sometimes he laughed at himself for resembling Ravenclaws.

He continued playing, his whole body moving with the rhythm and he opened his eyes, seeing Harry standing by the piano and looking at him in awe.

"That's beautiful," the Gryffindor said and Draco felt himself blush.

"It's Chopin," he replied, smiling as he kept playing the piece he'd chosen. _Nocturne in E flat major_, by Frederic Chopin; probably one of his favourite classical pieces.

He decided to finish the piece and then switch to Beethoven. "Ever heard of him before?" Draco asked as he kept playing.

Harry shook his head negatively. "My uncle and aunt only allowed me limited television time. And they never seemed to enjoy music of this kind." He shrugged.

Draco sighed. "It's classical music, Muggle as well. I'm surprised," He murmured as he finished the piece with a sigh of contentment. He began playing a piece by Beethoven, Moonlight Sonata. He also really loved that piece.

"What's this one?" Harry asked, moving to sit on the couch as he listened to the piano.

"Beethoven." Draco replied as his fingers started gliding on the piano, seeming to dance over the keys as he focused.

Harry was looking at him in awe. He felt such a strong connection to the piece Draco was playing, because it sounded so much like his feelings. He could never express how he felt, but this piece felt like it understood how he felt. He closed his eyes and kept listening as Draco played.

The blond kept going from piece to piece, playing all of the songs based purely on memory and nothing else to guide him. He was glad he could do that, though. It'd been so long since he'd played, and he'd missed it a lot. He soon switched to Schubert, playing a more intense piece.

Andromeda had just come in the living room as Draco was getting to a part that was quite loud. "I didn't know you could play..." she said as she walked up to Draco and looked at him.

He stopped playing and smiled. "I learnt from a young age. I've been playing since I was seven years old."

She smiled and nodded. "Teddy's asleep; I read to him the book you sent him last month." She said, talking to Harry.

Harry seemed pleased. "I'm glad I could be of help," he said.

Draco kept playing the piano for a while, his fingers flying tirelessly from key to key. He was content. His brain was beginning to relax, starting to feel better about playing music. He then thought of something referring to their previous talk.

"You said you don't know classical music, yet that time, in the Room of Requirement, you had Tchaikovsky playing on a record," Draco said softly.

Harry looked up and stayed silent for a second. "Oh, you mean that. I just asked for some calm music from the room, that's all," he explained.

Draco made a sigh of understanding.

* * *

After a chat with Andromeda, they were left alone with each other. Harry began thinking about the previous night again, rubbing his temples.

"Honestly..." he murmured to himself, sighing.

Draco looked up. "Everything alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry replied.

The music stopped and Harry could hear footsteps approaching him. "Do you want to go back?" the blond asked, sitting down next to Harry.

"It's barely seven in the afternoon." Harry said.

"Well, that doesn't change the fact that maybe you need some rest. It's been a load of eventful days, Andromeda will understand if you explain that you're tired." Draco said.

Harry looked at him. "How do you know?" he asked.

"Well, you must've gone to the party last night, right? And I reckon you weren't able to rest after what happened the past few weeks either," the blond replied.

Harry nodded, his heart beat increasing. Thinking about the party made him think about Draco's lips. He wanted to steal another kiss away, but how would he explain that he had faked an identity and that their kiss had made him feel something after a long time? It'd made him feel something besides emptiness. He wasn't sure in the first place how Draco would react about him knowing of his sexuality. And he wasn't sure if Draco even saw him that way. He probably thought of him as nothing more than a patient, a person he needed to heal in order to gain experience with real life patients. What if that was it?

Harry sighed to himself. Why had he started thinking like that anyway? He wasn't in love. In fact, he wasn't even sure what love was. He just wanted to be honest. He want to come out, tell the truth to Draco so he could stop feeling so guilty.

He swallowed, taking a deep breath.

"I have to tell you something..." Harry started, his heartbeat increasing rapidly.

Draco hummed. "Go ahead," he encouraged.

Harry opened his mouth to say it, but at that time the fireplace roared, making them both jump in their seats and turn to look at it. Harry's heartbeat was fast, making his shirt move and threatening to rip through his shirt.

"Andromeda?" a familiar female voice called and Harry stood, moving towards the fireplace.

"Mrs Weasley?" he said quietly.

Molly looked at him with a huge grin. "Harry! It's been such a long time dear, how have you been?" she said and smiled at him.

"I've been good. How's everyone?" he asked with a polite smile.

"Arthur's been very busy with work, as usual, and everyone else is just as you know them. Ron is with Charlie, George is running the shop and Percy is helping him out, Ginny is taking a break from everything," Molly said.

Harry hummed. "How's Bill and Fleur?" he then asked.

"Oh right I forgot to tell you! They're having a baby, Fleur's pregnant." She announced happily. "That's what I wanted to tell Andromeda actually, I'm becoming a grandma." She laughed.

The sound of footsteps were heard, and soon Andromeda reached the fireplace. "Molly, what a lovely surprise!" She said.

"Andromeda, did you hear? Fleur's pregnant. The baby's due in May." She said excitedly.

"Oh that's wonderful." Andromeda smiled. "Teddy will have a little cousin to play with after all," she said.

Molly smiled. "It was good talking to you, I have to go now! Bye!" she said.

Andromeda waved by and Harry stood up again. "Firecalls are just faster, right?" he said.

"Yeah. I'll go check up on Teddy, you boys can stay as long as you want," she said with a smile.

Harry sat back down, sighing. "Another baby, huh?" he said. His heart beat starting calming.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun. Not," Draco chuckled. He bit his lip and Harry swallowed hard. "So, you wanted to tell me about something?" he said.

Harry shook his head. "Doesn't matter anymore. Do you want to head back? I want to take a nap." He lied. He couldn't just blurt it out, there was no way.

"Alright," Draco said, getting up and searching for Andromeda. As soon as he found her he greeted her and explained that he had some homework left to do and that he'd had a lovely time. Andromeda hugged him tightly and told him she was glad he'd met him, and that he looked a lot like his mother. She also told him to write to Narcissa if possible, and tell her that she would love to speak with her, now that the war was over. Draco promised and hugged her again, feeling a wave of relief.

He went back to Harry, finding him already by the fireplace. "Let's go," he said and grabbed a handful of Floo powder.

Harry did the same, stepping in the fireplace first after putting it out and saying loud and clear the name of the fireplace at McGonagal's office.

* * *

The two of them fell on the carpet of the office, dusty and shaken up from the transportation.

"You're back. Off to your dorms then," McGonagal said.

"Andromeda sent her greetings," Draco said gently.

McGonagal smiled. "Thank you. Rest well, both of you." she said.

Draco nodded and walked away with Harry following him.

It was still eating Harry alive. Now even the sight of his lips would make him stir. What was the matter with him anyway? He knew he'd been obsessed with Draco for years, especially in sixth year, when he just couldn't exactly figure out what was going on with the blond.

He rubbed his forehead, groaning.

"Harry?" Draco asked, stopping at his heel on a set of stairs.

"I'm fine, just a headache. I need to get to bed, that's all," He lied. He just couldn't handle thinking about it any longer. It just messed up his head.

They soon reached the dorm and Harry went straight for his trunk, grabbing a change of clothes. Draco was sitting on his bed, watching him –probably to make sure he was okay-, and so Harry starting changing in front of him.

Draco was looking at Harry, worried over the Gryffindor. "Want me to get you some tea?" he asked.

"No thanks, I'm alright," Harry said, taking off his shirt.

Draco's eyes travelled up on Harry's back and then he spotted it. His heart started beating fast as he stood up. This had to be a mistake. This had to be a mistake, right?

"Harry..." he whispered, reaching out to touch on his back, between his shoulders.

"What?" Harry asked in a quiet voice.

"It was you."

Draco's heart stopped as he uttered those words, and for a second only their ragged breathing was heard. Harry had no idea what had dawned upon Draco regarding the marks on his back.

"It was you," he repeated.

Draco was tracing his finger on Harry's back, slowly touching the marks. "No way..." he whispered, backing away.

Harry turned to look at him, trying to figure out a way to respond to that. He had no idea what Draco was going on about.

"You... It can't be you," Draco said, not being able to form a coherent sentence.

Harry lifted his hand, slowly reaching out for Draco. "What did I do?" he breathed.

Draco felt as if his mind was going to explode. The marks on Harry's back were scratch marks. The exact same scratch marks Draco had given the guy he'd had a one night stand with, the guy that was standing in front of him; Harry.

He couldn't believe it.

"You're the guy I had sex with last night." Draco said.

Harry's eyes widened and he lost his balance, almost falling back. "No way..."

"So you... Did you know it was me when you were fucking me?" Draco said in a small whisper. His whole body was frozen.

"No, no I didn't," Harry said, in much the same shock as Draco was.

"Then why? Why were you so gentle? If you thought it was a stranger, why were you so fucking gentle?!" Draco exclaimed, wrapping his arms around himself. "The world isn't gentle! It's never been gentle, especially to you!" he exclaimed, tears making their way up to his eyes.

"I don't know what you mean..." Harry replied.

"One night stands aren't supposed to feel like you're making love. Why, Harry?" he asked.

Harry couldn't read him. He seemed upset, but he wasn't sure over what. "I'm sorry."

"Did you find me during the party?" Draco then asked.

Harry gulped. "I was John,"

Draco cursed loudly and sat on his bed, clutching his knees to his chest. "Leave me alone, Potter, please. Just nap or something, I don't bloody care. Leave me the fuck alone." He said angrily, pulling his curtains closed.

Harry felt as if a huge knot had tied itself in his throat. He fell back on his bed, drawing the curtains to close as well, and laid on his bed. Why did he feel so empty again? He should've felt happy that he'd gotten it out of his chest now, right?

Then why did he feel as if he'd screwed up? Why did he feel as if he'd just immensely hurt Draco over and over? He knew this was bound to happen. He knew that when Draco found out, he'd be upset. But he didn't know what to do.

* * *

Draco had cast a sound proof spell on his curtains and was sobbing loudly against his knees. This couldn't be happening to him. He didn't want to be used by Harry, he didn't want Harry to become just a stranger again. He'd deny it if asked, but he cared for Harry on other levels besides medically. He had grown to like him, still trying to figure him out and over the course of two months, he may've also been glad they were roommates.

He didn't want Harry to become just a drunken shag at a party. He didn't want that at all, and that's why he was so mad. Because it'd probably had meant nothing to Harry. It'd probably had been that, just a shag. And it hurt. It hurt Draco a lot.

But he wasn't just going to give up that easily. He wiped his eyes after a while, and stood up, opening his curtains again. He walked over to Harry's bed, flinging the curtains open.

He glared at the Gryffindor, and before any of them could say anything, Draco grabbed him by the back of his neck and kissed him angrily. The kiss was angry, but still felt amazing. Their teeth collided a few times as Draco ravished Harry's lips, kissing him deeply. Draco was certain that it had indeed been Harry.

"Was I just a shag?" Draco asked.

Harry seemed to be in a haze. "What?" he asked, shaking his head as if to clear it.

Draco groaned, glaring at him intensely. "_Was. I. Just. A. Shag." _He demanded.

Harry shook his head. "No." He said, grabbing him by his tie and pulling him down, kissing him eagerly and pressing up to him.

This action resulted in Draco falling on Harry, both of them pressing against each other. "I'm very angry at you, you bloody prick," Draco growled between kisses. Harry felt a giggle building it's way up to his throat.

"I can tell," Harry grinned. He felt alive again.

* * *

**A/N: Bet you didn't see that one coming. PLOT TWIST, YES, IT WAS HARRY WHO HAD THE ONE NIGHT STAND WITH DRACO, TRICKED YOU. **

**Read and review. :P**


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Hellooo! It's been a little over a week, and I just finished this chapter. This is your reward. For being so patient with me. It's been a long time coming, so enjoy :3**_

**Warning(s): Smut. Male/male. Yep, you guessed it, forecast calls for 99% of sex. Hehe.**  
**Words: ~4.900**

**Thank you to all of those who review every time I post a new chapter, aka: _Giliana1_, _HowlingRain_, _Peeves98 (__you're a special cookie cause you've been here since the very beginning of me writing shitty fanfics, I adore you okay__)_ and everyone else who has reviewed over time. Your reviews honestly brighten up my day :3**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

* * *

Draco didn't know what'd gotten into him. One minute he was feeling dirty and angry and ashamed that he knew who his one night stand was, and the next he'd launched himself at Potter, angrily kissing him.

Well, he wasn't complaining, to be honest. He enjoyed it thoroughly when he grabbed Harry by the back of his neck, pressing their lips together. He wasn't sure why, but whenever the boy drove him nuts, he'd get an extreme urge to kiss the idiot.

"Was I just a shag?"

Harry seemed to be lost in a haze, and Draco got even angrier at his stupid red and abused lips.

"What?" Harry asked, shaking his head as if to clear it.

Draco groaned, glaring at him intensely. "_Was. I. Just. A. Shag." _He demanded.

Harry shook his head. "No." He said, grabbing Draco by his tie and pulling him down, kissing him eagerly and pressing up to him.

This action resulted in Draco falling on Harry, both of them pressing against each other. "I'm very angry at you, you bloody prick," Draco growled between kisses.

"I can tell," Harry grinned.

"Don't grin at me, you Gryffindor smartass," Draco huffed as he ground his hips hard against Harry's, kissing him again. "You faked an identity, and made me your toy for a night. You have no right to be grinning," he hissed, biting hard on Harry's bottom lip.

The Gryffindor made a sound that went straight to Draco's groin, making him shiver. He suddenly started realizing why he'd done this. He'd wanted Potter for a long time, he knew it. He was just trying to ignore it because honestly, the two of them either made the best or the worst couple ever. And he was willing to find out.

He lifted himself from pressing into Harry and moved one leg between Harry's, spreading them out slowly as he moved his lips to Harry's neck, pulling skin between his lips to give the other a mark. Harry moaned slightly, and Draco felt himself become harder as the seconds ticked by. He gave long and hard sucks on Harry's neck, marking him and finally reaching his earlobe. He grinned, taking the small nub between his teeth and biting, eliciting a gasp from the other.

"Malfoy..." Harry breathed, his body arching against Draco's and Draco just _knew._

It was becoming very real and very obvious that they were going to repeat the previous night, only this time, there were no masks involved.

Draco tore off his own shirt, shifting his body backwards so he could look at Harry.

"You've no idea..." Harry whispered, but Draco didn't let him finish.

"I know. Just don't talk, let me take care of you," Draco whispered, pulling on Harry's shirt and demanding it off. Harry soon caught on, getting rid of his shirt and pants, his boxers being the only thing that separated Draco from the boy's crotch.

"Can I?" Draco asked, and mentally slapped himself. Since when did he ask guys if they'd let him give them a blowjob? He sighed, choosing to ignore the way he was acting. He didn't even care, he had Harry bloody Potter naked in front of him, and nothing was stopping him.

Harry gave a faint nod as a yes, and Draco licked his lips. He moved up again, kissing Harry deeply. Their tongues toyed with each other for a bit and Harry kept making those sounds that drove Draco insane. If Harry kept moaning like that, he couldn't imagine what it'd be like if he actually gave him pleasure. And this certainly was a much more innocent and inexperienced Harry he was talking about, since he'd realized that the Harry from last night was someone else. After all, he was faking an identity, so, he couldn't compare it.

"C-Can we take it slow?" Harry asked, and Draco felt his heart clutching. How Saint Potter could be so sexy yet so innocent at the same bloody time, Draco had no idea.

Draco nodded, taking off his pyjama bottom and leaving on his obviously straining boxers. He looked down at both of them, finding a responding hardness against his hip. He pressed back down, their erections pressing firmly against one another. This time Draco also moaned, because the motion made them both rub against each other. He decided to focus his attention on Harry's lips for now.

He looked up, finding a wide eyed, messy haired Harry that stared back at him in wonder and with lust. He seemed to be enjoying all of these sensations. Draco had had his fair share of experience with both girls and guys, when he was still in denial of his own sexuality. Girls seemed too hard to please, and he never really tried anyway, but guys were always easy to please.

He pulled Harry's upper lip between his teeth, gently biting and he felt Harry's cock pressing against his own as the other boy pressed up. He then felt hands on his arse, holding him down as Harry started rubbing against him. Draco gasped since the motion made his own cock feel less strained and neglected.

"Draco..." Harry breathed and Draco kissed him again, rolling his hips slowly and pressing against the other male.

"Fuck, this feels good..." he breathed, his eyes falling closed as his lips melted against Harry's.

Draco was surprised when he heard a chuckle, seeing Harry pull away from their kiss to laugh.

"What's so funny, you prick?" Draco panted, his hips still rolling against Harry's, their hard cocks pressing against one another, making them both start to want release.

"I never thought I'd hear you moan like this, that's all... And, there's a bunch of things going through my head, I don't know which one of them caused me to laugh," Harry explained and Draco didn't pay attention. He was too busy getting lost in the sea of green that Harry had for eyes.

"Boxers." Draco said, pulling away and looking at Harry. "Off, now." He commanded, taking his own off.

Harry blushed but obeyed, shoving his boxers past his thighs and down his legs, throwing them somewhere on the end of the bed.

"Fuck..." Draco breathed, his hand reaching out to touch Harry's chest. His hand travelled down slowly, teasing Harry as he reached his cock. He stared at his full, thick length for a few minutes, staying in silence, as his own cock throbbed with excitement. "Fuck, it's better looking at it, and I already know what it feels like inside me," he said in a whisper.

Harry gulped. "Is that a good thing?" he asked.

"Fuck yes, your cock is perfect," Draco breathed and didn't let Harry say anything more as he leaned down, pressing soft kisses to Harry's stomach, guiding them down to Harry's cock. He let his lips hover over Harry's tip for a bit before opening his mouth, glancing up at him and darting his tongue out, flattening it against his warm cock.

Harry took a sharp breath and Draco smirked, taking the head in his mouth and giving a gentle suck. The response from Harry was tremendous. He slid the whole of Harry's length in his mouth slowly, experimenting with what Harry liked and what made him moan more, enjoying every sound. He sucked a bit harder as he move his head up, letting Harry's erection fall out of his mouth, and moving his lips to Harry's inner thigh.

He kissed and sucked on his thigh before he felt a soft touch on his hair. He glanced up and saw Harry giving him a pleading look, his chest heaving. Draco smiled and soon took Harry's tip in his mouth again, sucking hard on it and teasing the slit with the tip of his tongue. He pressed hard against the slit as he sucked, making Harry moan. He pulled Harry's cock out of his mouth, gathering a bit of saliva in his mouth before taking him fully in his mouth again.

"Draco I'm going to..." Harry gasped, his body jerking up as Draco took him deeper in his throat, stroking what he couldn't cover with his mouth by using his hand.

"Please!" Harry begged, trying to push him off. Draco grabbed Harry's wrist and looked up at him through his lashes, taking his cock deep in his mouth and sucking hard, bobbing his head and looking into Harry's eyes. He wanted to make him cum.

Harry's mouth fell apart and he threw his head back, gasping as he came, his hips jerking upwards as he voiced his release. Draco felt the hot liquid splattering against the top of his mouth and he swallowed it with carefulness, making sure to get everything else from Harry's tip.

Harry panted, his hips jerking as Draco let his cock fall against his stomach, slowly making his way up to Harry.

"Did you enjoy that?" he asked, looking at Harry with hopeful eyes.

Harry simply nodded and hid his face against Draco's neck. "I'm exhausted..." he whispered.

"No, no, you have to finish me off!" Draco pouted.

"Tired..." Harry murmured into Draco's neck, moving closer and wrapping and arm around the blond's waist, his other tiredly wrapping around Draco's still hard cock and tugging lightly.

"Potter, you're not going to sleep, you need to get me off or I'll hex your bollocks off," Draco threatened.

Harry chuckled and planted a kiss on Draco's collarbone. "Give me a minute to catch my breath then," he chuckled.

* * *

The next morning found Draco sleeping with an armful of Harry. He had hair tickling his face and his stomach felt sticky. He stretched as he woke up by the rays of sun that came through the window, looking down on himself and Harry. They were both naked, and Draco had cum dried on his stomach. He sighed and tried getting Harry off of him in order to take a shower, but the male wouldn't untangle himself from the blond.

He sighed yet again, kissing Harry's forehead and sitting up. Harry slowly slid off of him, his grip relaxing and Draco seized the opportunity. He got out of bed silently and headed for the bathroom, going for a shower.

In the shower, Draco sat under the warm spray, thinking of what had happened between them. Obviously Harry felt something similar, otherwise he wouldn't had been so responsive, right? And obviously the issue was still there, with Harry's mindset. Draco pushed his wet hair away from his forehead, sighing as the warm water ran over him. He closed the water and reached out for the shampoo, gasping when he felt Harry pressing up from behind him.

"Morning..." Draco heard the other whisper and he turned around, staring into the sleepy green eyes of the boy.

"Slept well?" he asked.

Harry nodded. "Did you give me a potion or something?" he asked gently. "I didn't get any nightmares for once," he breathed.

Draco smiled and pulled Harry close to him, bringing their bodies to press against each other. Harry blushed and Draco turned on the water, looking at him. "Did you want something?" he asked, deliberately rolling his hips to the front against Harry's groin.

Harry bit his lip and closed his eyes as he leaned forward, repeating the motion that Draco made. His hand moved, closing the water again and he looked at Draco intensely. His eyes looked so cold, yet comforting.

"What happened last night, and the previous night..." Harry started, but Draco cut him off with a kiss. He pressed their lips together, kissing him softly. He didn't want to hear anything. He didn't want to hear that maybe Harry had changed his mind. For now he just wanted Harry.

"Please take me here," Draco whispered, his eyes getting clouded with lust as he looked at Harry.

Harry's breath hitched and he nodded, pressing their foreheads together. "Draco, I need you to know something, let me speak..." he whispered.

Draco didn't want to hear it, but he had no choice, right? "What is it?" he asked. He didn't really want to ask.

Harry seemed to be struggling. "I... I wanna give this a try. I wanna give _us_ a try, but..." he murmured.

"I know. It's going to be okay, I promise you," Draco whispered, understanding what he meant.

"Promise?" Harry asked.

Draco nodded. "Yes, promise."

Harry smiled and Draco felt as if the sun had just shone on his face. "Can you please fuck me now?" he said sweetly and Harry chuckled.

Draco kissed him deeply. "I know we need to talk about this, but for now, we'll just let things happen as they will, okay?" he said.

Harry hummed. "Yeah. You're getting hard just thinking about me fucking you, aren't you?" he smirked.

Draco blushed, finding that indeed he was getting hard. He really wanted this. Harry wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed them close to each other, kissing the blond again. Draco felt himself melting against him as they kissed.

* * *

Harry's mind was about to burst. He was in the shower with Draco, making out heavily against the shower wall. His mind was filled with thoughts and feelings he couldn't explain or control.

He had been given an amazing blowjob from the blond the previous night, and had also reciprocated with a handjob. And then in the morning he woke up in his bed, naked, and needing to find Draco.

His mind was a mess. It felt as if as soon as he untangled one mess, another one got created. For example, this whole thing with Draco. He had untangled the mess of who his one night stand was and he'd gotten the weight off of his chest for kissing him, but his mind was getting more tangled with the idea that he liked Draco.

He wasn't sure which was worse; feeling like he was using Draco for his own pleasure, or feeling like he'd end up hurting the blond instead of getting hurt himself.

Harry suddenly jolted back into reality when he felt Draco's erection pressing demandingly against his thigh, and Draco's teeth biting into his bottom lip, making him gasp as he opened his eyes.

"Harry, come on," Draco murmured against his lips and Harry shivered.

"You want me inside you that badly?" he smirked.

Draco looked at him in the eyes. Seeing his dilated pupils and the hint of lust lingering in his eyes made something stir in Harry; it was probably his groin. He put a hand around Draco's waist, pressing against him and rubbing his body on Draco's. This caused the blond to moan softly and Harry was pleased. He leaned in and gave Draco a deep kiss, his body responding fully to Draco's.

"I swear, if you don't hurry and fuck me..." Draco muttered angrily.

Harry chuckled. "You're so needy. Who would've thought, hmm?" he said.

"Look, if this is some sort of game to you, then-" Draco started but Harry cut him off with a kiss.

"Of course this isn't a game, Draco," he whispered and turned the blond around. One hand wrapped around Draco's chest and the other went down, grabbing hold of Draco's erection. He searched around for something to use as lubricant, since he hadn't had any on him and didn't know the spell for it.

"Do you mind if I use soap instead?" he whispered against Draco's neck, biting softly.

"I have lube in my trunk, just summon it," Draco replied, and Harry smiled.

"Always prepared, hmm?" Harry grinned and summoned wordlessly the bottle of lube. He opened it and poured some on his palm and his length before sending it off again. He spread the lube around his cock, getting it slicked, but he kept lube in his hands. He'd let go of Draco's chest, but with his left hand he was still stroking Draco's cock unsteadily. He pushed two lubed fingers in Draco, making the other gasp as his left hand stroked the tip of Draco's cock.

"More..." Draco breathed.

Harry moved them so that Draco was facing the wall, making him put his hands on the wall. "Spread your legs for me," Harry whispered in his ear as he leaned against him.

Draco did as he was told and Harry just sat there, staring at him as his body gave away his thoughts. He snapped out of it and pushed his fingers back into Draco, this time making them be three. He moved them in and out, loving the sounds Draco made as Harry stretched him. He couldn't stand seeing him like that any longer so he pulled his fingers out and parted Draco's arse, pushing his cock inside him. The feeling was too overwhelming.

He moaned as he pushed more into Draco, getting fully inside him. Draco seemed to be at a loss of words as his body trembled. Harry hand reached around and wrapped around Draco's body, pressing it back against Harry's chest. Their bodies seemed to fit together somehow. Harry tried to focus on Draco completely, ignoring his scars that were visible. He was surprised Draco hadn't stared at them, but then realized that Draco was the one who'd healed them. He sighed, closing his eyes and resting his face on Draco's shoulder.

"You alright?" came a whisper from Draco and Harry hummed.

"Yeah, just giving us both some time to get used to it," he whispered back with a smile.

Draco nodded, turning his head back and kissing Harry softly. "You can be less gentle, I'm not going to break," he smiled and Harry took it as a hint.

He pulled back, his cock almost fully exiting Draco before pushing back in, moaning softly. Draco hissed slightly, his head dropping forward, and Harry did it again, pulling out almost completely and thrusting back in with force. Soon enough he set a pace, thrusting in and out of Draco, their bodies moving with each other as the bathroom filled with the sound of Harry's balls slapping against Draco's arse.

"Touch me," Draco said in a slightly demanding but also lustful tone.

Harry reached to the front, realizing how neglected his cock had been throughout this. They were still moving and Harry started stroking him in the same pace he was fucking him, going a bit faster and deeper now. Draco made a keening noise as Harry's hand tugged on his cock hard, and he seemed to be enjoying it as much as Harry was.

The pace got rapid and hard, Draco's moans covering up the sounds their bodies made. They were both covered in sweat and Harry's hand was stroking Draco steadily. They moved and gasped together as Harry felt Draco clenching around him and the blond cried out, signifying his release. Harry followed shortly after, almost falling on Draco as he stilled his hips and came inside Draco.

Draco got pushed against the wall as Harry fell on him. The two of them stayed like that for a bit, panting heavily and trying to calm down. In their dazed state, Draco reached out blindly for the water, turning it on after a few failed tries. The warm water hit them both but they still stayed together.

Harry's mind was numb. But not the kind of numb he'd been experiencing after the war. It was the kind of numb that wanted to make him giggle like a child and have the biggest grin on his face. He chuckled as he kissed Draco's shoulder, making his way to his neck and giving a soft bite. He hid his face against Draco's neck as the water rinsed them off, and only then he pulled out, letting everything get washed off. Draco turned around to face him and the two connected their lips, their eyes falling closed.

"Can you get the shampoo?" Draco asked in a hoarse whisper as their lips parted.

Harry nodded, grabbing the shampoo from the little shelf that was on the wall, handing it to Draco. Draco smiled and poured some on Harry's head, rubbing it in with a small smile on his face. With the water falling on them and Draco's hands stretched out, Harry thought that Draco was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

"What?" Draco asked, his smile fading.

Harry shrugged. "You're really handsome,"

Draco seemed to blush and Harry just kissed him again. "I mean it," he whispered and Draco smiled at him.

"Wash your hair, idiot," Draco mumbled, still smiling.

Harry chuckled and did as he was told, watching Draco wash his hair as well. They both rinsed off and then Harry grabbed the soap, making bubbles in his hand and reaching out for Draco. "Let me wash you," he offered.

Draco bit his lip and lifted his hands in surrender. Harry's hand reached to close the running water as he started soaping Draco, touching places he hadn't touched before. He ignored Draco's dark mark and washed only his palm, moving quickly to his other hand. He then soaped his chest slowly, looking at him for a long time and slowly going lower, washing Draco's crotch as well and cleaning him as efficiently as he could. He moved to Draco's thighs, drowning in the sight. He made Draco turn around and then he soaped his back thoroughly and slowly. When he got to his ass he used both hands to gently massage him there, spreading the soap evenly.

"Done," he breathed, not realizing his cock was hard again, seeking attention from Harry.

Draco gave him the most lustful look possible, deciding to return the favour. Harry's body arched as Draco started stroking his skin as he soaped him, suddenly not caring about the scars on his body. He gasped as Draco brushed over his hard cock, looking down and seeing that Draco was also hard again. He chuckled.

"We need to stop," Draco muttered, leaning in.

Harry closed his eyes and his lips parted, thinking that Draco was going to kiss him. The blond didn't do that. He just looked at him, their lips only mere centimetres away, as if asking permission to kiss him. Harry opened his eyes, licked his lips and looked at him. He didn't know why, but the fact that Draco could be gentle meant something to him. He looked into his eyes and nodded softly, indicating he was giving him permission. Draco closed the small space between them and kissed him deeply, their lips coming together.

Harry got caught off guard as they kissed, his hand grabbing the blond by the back of his neck. Their bodies crashed against each other and Draco fell against him, pining him with his back to the wall. Their kiss became more eager and hungry as their heads tilted to each side, Harry's mouth parting as Draco's tongue lapped at them. His hands moved to grab Harry's, and Harry surrendered completely. With his eyes firmly shut he felt the blond bending his hands and bringing them close to his shoulders as they kissed, Draco's full weight pressing against him. He was certain that both of them were getting immense pleasure out of this since Draco's erection was pressing next to his own, against his stomach.

He was feeling dizzy, and his legs couldn't hold him up, because Draco was doing wonderful things with his mouth. Their lips parted and Draco pressed his hands harder against the shower walls, as he moved his mouth on Harry's neck. The blond kissed and bit a spot on Harry's neck, leaving a very noticeable bruise.

Draco then pulled away, letting go of Harry's hands and looking at him with a smile. He turned the shower on and stepped under it, rinsing himself off as Harry watched. He looked at him and bit his lip, inching closer.

"You're really hot," Harry whispered at a lack of better words.

Draco chuckled. "Rinse yourself off, you Gryffindor idiot. We still need to talk," he said and pushed the curtain aside, stepping out of the shower.

Harry pouted. "No fair." He muttered in slight agitation as he started washing himself off. He pulled the curtain closed and stared at his persistent erection, knowing very well that if he asked for Draco do it he'd either get scolded or caught up in a bunch of more mindblowing sex.

* * *

Draco sat on his bed with only trousers on, his hair dripping from the shower. He sighed, waiting for Harry to come out of the bathroom.

"What am I doing?" he whispered to himself.

He knew there were tons of things he and Harry needed to discuss. The first and most urgent one was what they'd do from now on. Would they be open about it? Would they sneak around? Would they tell anyone?

He sighed, figuring that he already knew the answer to those questions. They'd most likely keep it non-existent for now, since Harry already had enough to deal with from the public as it was. He knew it would add pressure to him if everyone suddenly started asking him why he was with Draco. Besides, everyone knew they'd gotten kind of close, right? They'd just avoid being a couple when outside of the room.

Draco bit his lip. What if Harry didn't want this to go on? Wait, since when did he care? He'd gotten involved many times with friends only for the sex, and never had a legitimate relationship with them any way. It was a win-win; mindblowing sex, no strings attached.

Come to think of it, he'd never gotten in a serious relationship. Pansy didn't count. That's from when he thought he could fool himself and keep his identity hidden. She'd figured him out though, when he had trouble getting it up for her. To be completely honest, she wasn't the most attractive either. And then also Blaise didn't count. The whole Slytherin dorm had a bunch of "events" where all of them were open and hooked up with whoever they wanted, but Blaise had only slept with him twice. Even though the sex was good, Draco had trouble keeping up with him. They didn't even attempt a relationship anyway.

He sighed, rubbing his forehead. He was thinking too much of this. He didn't know why though. He always made sure to make rational thoughts, but now his mind was completely incomprehensible, he couldn't follow up with anything he was thinking.

Soon enough, Harry stepped out with just a towel around him, his hair dripping on his shoulders. "Done," the other announced and Draco tried really hard to focus on his face and not his toned chest.

"Sit," Draco said, patting a spot next to him.

Harry sat down next to him, crossing his legs and turning his body to face Draco. "You wanted to talk?" he asked.

Draco nodded. He bit his lip, thinking of what to ask first. "What do you... What do you want this to be?" he asked. "I mean, we've done these things, and... I don't want to continue doing this unless we're clear to each other, I hate misconceptions and misunderstandings that cause unnecessary drama."

Harry hummed and looked sceptical for a moment. "Well, I... I've liked you for a while. I don't want to say anything to anyone, for obvious reasons. Homosexual wizards are still treated badly to this day, and I doubt it'll change any time soon." He mumbled, twisting a small strand of hair around his finger, his hand resting against his neck.

Draco nodded. "And me being a former Death Eater will only spark things even more," he added.

Harry hummed in agreement. "I don't want this to turn into a friends with benefits thing, but I also don't know if I'm fit for a relationship," he said quietly, lowering his head.

Draco reached out and touched his hand, looking at him. "We'll figure it out then, okay?" he asked.

Harry simply nodded and leaned forward, kissing Draco deeply. "My thoughts are really messed up right now. I'm sorry," he whispered.

"It's alright," Draco said, sighing. "I didn't expect you to know right away. Will you tell Hermione?" he asked.

Harry shook his head negatively. "No way, I can't tell her."

Draco stroked his cheek gently. "Alright."

Harry sighed. His mind was a mess.

"Want to take a nap together?" Draco offered and Harry looked at him for a few seconds.

"Are you tired?" he asked

"No, but naps help clear your mind," Draco said softly.

Harry smiled. "Let me wear something first," he said, getting up from the bed and taking the towel off from his hips. He walked to his trunk and got a t-shirt and a pair of trousers out, dressing himself. He didn't bother with underwear because he knew he and Draco would probably do more things later.

Draco was already laying down when he returned to the bed, and Harry joined him. He laid down on his side, looking at the blond who was laying on his stomach. He looked at him for a second before inching closer, biting his lip. Draco smiled, pulling the covers over them and moving to lie on his back.

"You can sleep on me," he offered and Harry felt as if a weight was lifted. He smiled and Harry moved closer, cuddling up to him and resting his head on Draco's chest.

* * *

**A/N: Haaa? Did you like that? :3 I decided to make it extra cute, since I think all of you guys, including me, really needed this. Let me know what you thought lovelies :3 **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: *comes out from under rock* Uhh... Heey, guys... I've been on hiatus for a ridiculously long time. And I know that you guys have been waiting for a good chapter, and I don't know if this is even a good chapter. Basically, what happened was that I had exams and school stressing me to the max. And when it ended and I saw that I cannot make it into a university with the grades I got, I felt devastated. And I can re-take my exams, worry not. I'll do that next year, so I have an entire year ahead of me to study everything again and try again.**

**And... due to all that stress and sadness, I have no idea how this chapter has even managed to come out. My creativity was 0. Literally, zero ideas, nothing, niente. And I'm so sorry for being such a dissapointment because this chapter is not good at all, in my opinion. It's very lazy written, I do not enjoy reading nor writing it, and this story has become a burden. It's the worst feeling ever... And I had a wonderful plan for this story, and I wanted it to be self-healing and Harry realizing that he can become better, and proving that unlike in other fanfics I've read/written, nobody magically heals from their depression when they fall in love. And right now I'm not in a good place, so I couldn't possibly write anything about self-healing when I haven't given myself a chance at self-healing.**

**Anyway, here it is... I know it's been long overdue, and I know it's not a good chapter, but I cannot find the words and put them together in order to make a good chapter. ~Ven.**

**Words: ~3.100**  
**Warning(s): None, I guess.**

**Enjoy nonetheless.**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

* * *

A week had passed for the two of them, and it had included a lot of sneaking around. Their relationship would make it to the cover of the Daily Prophet if it was to be discovered, and with Rita Skeeter lurking around, neither Harry nor Draco wanted that. They still pretended to be friends around everyone else, but both of them were so addicted to each other that they had to try really hard to hide their relationship. Well, at least Draco was.

Harry and Draco could be found sitting in the Room of Requirement. It had become their secret meeting place over time. Harry spent a big amount of time in that room anyway, so whenever they needed their privacy, they'd go there. Whenever they were there, nothing seemed to matter.

"So, tell me about yourself. I know just what everybody else does. Tell me about things you like, things you don't like, what you want to do out of school, stuff like that," Draco said, looking at Harry eagerly.

They were sitting on a couch together and Draco was lying with his head on Harry's lap, Harry's fingers tangled in his hair as he stroked his head.

Harry looked at him. "I... I never thought about it, really." He muttered.

"Come on, Potter, you must have some sort of interests, right?" Draco asked.

Harry shrugged. "I spent half of my life being the Dursleys' servant and the other half fighting a dark lord. It's not as easy as it sounds," he said sarcastically.

Draco turned to lie on his back and looked up at Harry. "I forgot," he said apologetically.

"I wish I could forget that easily," Harry mumbled and looked away from the blond.

Draco sat up on the couch, moving to sit on Harry's lap and looking at him intensely. "Look at me," he demanded.

Harry turned his head in defeat, looking at Draco. The blond pressed their lips together, kissing him deeply.

"I'm here,"

Harry rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Draco's waist. "You're an idiot," he whispered in the blond's neck and hid his face there.

Draco shook his head. "You're the idiot," he whispered in return.

Harry sighed. He untangled himself from Draco and got up, walking away from the couch.

"Looking for something?" Draco asked as he watched him.

"Yeah..." Harry muttered, looking around and trying to find something unknown to Draco.

Finally he stopped searching and headed towards a small bookcase with shelves filled with books and grabbed a gramophone. He also picked a vinyl record and made the gramophone levitate as he headed back and sat on the floor, setting up the gramophone. He put the record on and waited for the music to start.

"Oh, so that's what you wanted to do," Draco smiled, opening his arms for Harry and waiting for him to come back to the couch.

"Potter..." Draco drawled, looking at him.

Harry glanced at him. "Hmm?"

"Dance with me," Draco smirked as he pulled him into his lap.

Harry was surprised. "I doubt you can dance," he replied.

"Oh come on, don't be a prick. Get up, I'll teach you how to dance to ballroom music, because that's exactly what this is," Draco said, pushing Harry off of him and standing, pulling him with him.

Harry sighed. "I don't dance, Draco," he said.

Draco grabbed Harry's arm and put it on his waist, then took his other arm and linked their fingers together before placing his own hand on Harry's shoulder. "So, this is how you position yourself," he explained.

Harry rolled his eyes. "You're not the only one who attended the Yule Ball during fourth year, you know,"

Draco laughed. "Oh you mean dancing with that Patil girl because your crush Chang turned you down?" he teased.

"Shut up," Harry growled.

"Why her though? I mean, the Weaselette was better than her, that's for sure."

Harry glared at him. "If you don't shut your mouth, you give me no choice but to make sure it stays shut," he threatened.

"Oh, really? In what way?" Draco grinned.

"This way," Harry said before leaning in for a kiss.

Draco smirked against the Gryffindor's lips before kissing back and deepening the kiss by turning his head to the side and pressing closer. During their little chat they'd started dancing, so they were technically still attempting to dance whilst kissing, and it seemed to be working. The kiss lasted a good, full minute before they broke off, looking at each other.

"I'm glad you're still you," Draco whispered gently, looking at him.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"You continue being a snarky brat, and I love it," he chuckled.

Harry rolled his eyes at him and pulled him closer, dancing slowly to the music that played. "You're still your stupid self as well, Malfoy."

Draco just laughed and rested his head against Harry's, his hand moving under Harry's arm and resting on his shoulder blade instead. Harry kissed the top of Draco's head and closed his eyes, continuing to dance with their heads pressed together. Their forms merged with each other as they danced, their bodies pressed close to each other. Harry felt himself relaxing again. It was a truly new feeling, to be able to relax this way.

Harry leaned downwards and kissed Draco softly, feeling his whole body melting. It was another feature he wasn't used to. Kissing Draco felt right. He knew it was right. His whole body felt relaxed as they kissed, his legs feeling weak. He could barely hold himself up and he wasn't sure whether he was just tired or if it was the effect Draco had on him. He really liked him a lot, he realized. Plus, seven years of pent up lust are way too many.

Harry pulled away from the kiss, finding a slightly heavy breathing Draco with flushed cheeks and wide eyes. He smiled at him and continued dancing.

"So you don't need teaching after all," Draco remarked.

Harry hummed. "I'm a natural, indeed."

Draco simply smiled, holding on to Harry. Harry looked around and kept dancing, slowly and steadily. He then felt himself becoming tired so he stopped in his tracks, pulling Draco with him to sit back on the couch. He flopped down and let out a small sigh, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes.

"That wasn't as bad as I expected," Harry teased.

"I could say the same, I thought you'd be stepping on me all the time," Draco teased back.

Harry chuckled and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. And then he felt it. A strong, surging pain, on the right side of his forehead, making him gasp. His hand reached up instinctively and pressed hard on the aching spot, his breath falling short. He fell to the front, gasping for air.

"Harry?" Draco asked quietly, looking at him with concern.

Harry's eyes blurred and he let out a small sound which resembled a strangled scream, his throat going dry. It couldn't be, he'd killed Voldemort and the horcrux inside him. It couldn't be his scar, it just couldn't be!

"Harry, what's up? Can you hear me?" Draco said, not daring to touch him.

Harry's eyes filled with tears as he curled his knees to his chest, his hand never leaving his forehead. He tried speaking but he couldn't, his throat was too dry. He'd started shaking somewhere along the lines of his panic, his body freezing. He couldn't be having pains in his scar, Voldemort was long gone, right?

"Harry, breathe," Draco whispered gently, not touching Harry at all. He wasn't sure whether it was going to help, so he had to work with what he had. "Please try and breathe, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, I promise, just try to breathe."

Harry was paralyzed. He had started having flashbacks, all rapidly passing through his eyes. First, the image of his parents being murdered. Then the cemetery and Cedric being killed, as well as the immense pain Harry had felt when Voldemort had pressed his finger on Harry's scar. Then Sirius, falling through the veil. Then Dumbledore. Then Dobby, Tonks, Remus, explosions around Hogwarts, Fred, Snape's memories. Everything was being projected loudly and very realistically inside his brain.

Harry pressed harder on his forehead, trying to focus on the pain from his hand and forget the images. His eye caught his bare, healed hand and he frantically stood up, his legs shaking. "I need to..." he managed, heading towards a pile of items, searching for something sharp.

Draco stood, following him, trying to make sense of things. "Harry," he said, reaching out. The Gryffindor ignored him, searching around for a blade or a knife. He was scared. Voldemort had been defeated. So why was his forehead hurting so badly?!

"Harry!" Draco yelled, managing to make him turn around.

Harry hadn't realized he'd sat on his knees and was rummaging through things until Draco was holding his wrists. He jerked his hands away, pulling them to his chest and getting up, looking away from Draco.

Draco looked at him and his heart dropped, trying to approach Harry again, his hand reaching out to touch Harry's shoulder. Harry slapped his hand away and looked angrily at him.

"Leave me alone!" he shouted and Draco gritted his teeth.

"I don't know what happened, but you need to calm down," he said in the most calm voice he could manage.

"Let me go!" Harry said, struggling as Draco attempted to touch him again.

"Harry, please, I don't mean harm to you," Draco said, his face softening as he looked at him.

Harry shook his head and fell to his knees, his head buzzing. It still hurt, his whole right side throbbing from the pain. He closed his eyes only to see rapid green flashes and the sound of the curse hitting his body and how peaceful it felt when he'd been killed, before waking up at King's Cross. He whimpered and grabbed his hand as he saw Voldemort's taunting figure, mocking him and killing people he loved one after another.

"Harry," a voice called but he refused to open his eyes.

"Harry, I'm talking to you. Snap out of it. You're strong, you can do this." Draco's voice came through, and he opened his eyes, looking up.

Draco sighed as he put a hand on Harry's shoulder, gently pulling him closer and pressing him against his chest. "Shh..."

Harry hid his face against Draco's chest and that's when he broke down. A loud sob escaped his mouth and he started crying into his chest.

* * *

Once Harry had calmed down, he'd explained what had happened. He'd gotten a migraine and he didn't realize because he thought his scar had started hurting, which resulted in him having a panic attack and experiencing flashbacks.

He was now lying between the blond's legs, with his back to Draco's chest, sleeping soundlessly. Draco was stroking his hair softly and gently untangling it for him as he slept. He'd had to give him a Sleeping Draught in order to get him to sleep.

Draco's mind couldn't stop working. He was thinking again and he was certain that if his thoughts were to be written down, it wouldn't make any sense, even to himself. He was mainly concerned for Harry.

His hand kept stroking small strands of hair from Harry's hair and untangling the unruly mess that it was. He hid his face against Harry's hair inhaling deeply the scent of the other boy. He smiled absentmindedly and waited until Harry woke up.

Harry woke up an hour later, finding himself still in the Room of Requirement with Draco.

"Are you awake?" he whispered as he tried to look at Draco who was still laying under him.

Draco hummed, pulling himself up a bit. "Yeah. Sleep okay?" he asked.

Harry nodded. "I want to visit Teddy." He announced.

Draco gave him a puzzled look. "Why all of a sudden?"

"He's like my younger brother. He makes me calm down," Harry explained. "Please, let me go. I'll return by tonight." He said.

Draco sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Are you sure you're going to be okay on your own? You're not going to run off, are you?" he whispered, pulling Harry close to him.

Harry shook his head. "I just need to see him, that's all."

Draco gave up trying to convince him otherwise and let him go, watching him walk out of the room.

* * *

When Harry reached Andromeda's house, he was already feeling calmer. He knocked on the door, since he'd apparated there, and waited for an answer.

"Harry!" a voice said and a ginger haired woman fell into his arms. Ginny.

"Hey, Ginny," he said, hugging her back.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I could ask you the same," Harry chuckled as he stepped in.

"Mum and I were paying Andromeda a visit. Teddy is the cutest little thing." She beamed and pulled on Harry's hand, tugging him towards the living room. "Mum, look who's here!" she announced.

Harry stepped in awkwardly and saw Molly's face lighten up as she stood from the couch and hugged him.

"Harry dear, we've missed you," she said as she hugged him.

Harry smiled. "Missed you too Mrs Weasley," he said.

After a brief chat, Harry excused himself and went to find his godson. Teddy was playing in his playpen with a few of his stuffed toys.

"How's my little Teddy doing?" he said as he reached the playpen and pulled Teddy in his arms.

Teddy made excited noises and clung to Harry's neck, holding a stuffed wolf that Harry had brought him. He smiled and held him closely as he sat with him on the armchair that was next to the playpen, grabbing one of Teddy's favourite books. He opened it up and started reading it to him in a soft voice.

For some reason this particular action always calmed him. He loved reading stories to Teddy, or even telling him about the stories he lived, making them less graphic of course. It always seemed to calm him down.

Ginny walked into the room a while later, finding Harry softly reading to a half-asleep Teddy who was resting against Harry's stomach with his arm stretched out to touch the pictures. She smiled and came towards them.

"He sure loves you," she whispered.

Harry nodded. "He's like a brother to me. I wouldn't say he's like my son, because I wouldn't be doing justice to Remus," he murmured.

"But Remus wanted you to be his godfather. So, he's your godson," Ginny said.

"I know that, but…"

"But you feel bad that they died." Ginny cut him off. "Harry, I'm still not over Fred's death, but what you're doing to yourself needs to stop. I bet Hermione tells you off for it all the time." She said.

Harry nodded and leaned more into the armchair, looking at the ceiling. "I just can't stop feeling like I'm not supposed to be here, Gin,"

"Yet here you are, struggling to live. You did whatever you could to stop _him. _It's not your fault. Nobody blames you," she said.

"Yes, but they treat me like a bloody celebrity. I don't want to be treated that way," he grumbled.

"Then ignore them. You have every right to be a normal human, just like everyone else."

Harry sighed. "Hey, Gin… I know you're not an expert but… I'm in a relationship with Draco and I don't… I don't feel like I think I should feel," he said.

Ginny looked at him in surprise. "Well that's an odd thing to say," she muttered.

"I mean, I know I love and care for him, and I know that it feels amazing when we kiss, but… I just don't feel like I think I'm supposed to. I'm not all starstruck over him and I'm not swooning and giggling at every chance. Is there something wrong with me?" he asked.

Ginny moved closer to Harry and put a hand on his shoulder. "Nothing's wrong with you. In the state you've been in for so long, you don't know whether or not you feel anything anymore. It's completely understandable. Just make sure you spend more time with him. If you become uneasy, then maybe there is a problem, and you should talk about it. But if not, you'll see that you'll start becoming happier as the days pass." She said.

Harry mulled it over for a second and Ginny continued.

"You two are soul mates. I've known since the first year I saw you both interacting with each other. You're meant to be. Don't let some stupid thoughts ruin that, okay?" she added, reaching out and holding Harry's hand.

Harry nodded. "Thanks Ginny… You always know what to say, don't you?" he said with a small smile.

Ginny beamed. "My pleasure. It's always nice to help a damsel in distress like yourself." She said jokingly, sticking her tongue out at him.

Harry chuckled softly.

"And when you get home, make sure he knows how much you love him. You both need it." She said.

Harry nodded and stood up, putting Teddy back in the playpen and giving Ginny a short hug before walking out of the room. He decided that returning to Hogwarts was the best idea.

* * *

Draco was sitting on his bed when Harry walked in through the door and closed it behind him, leaning against it.

"Everything alright?" the blond asked.

Harry didn't say a word and instead launched himself at Draco, their lips crashing together.

"H-Hold on!" Draco mumbled against the attack from Harry's lips, trying to push him off so they could speak.

Harry looked at him and licked his lips. "I want you naked. Now." He whispered and leaned down again, this time aiming at Draco's neck.

"What did you do with Potter and who are you?" Draco chuckled and gasped slightly when Harry started making love bites on his neck.

"I've been stuck in this mindset for too long. I had a talk with Ginny. She opened my eyes on how much of a whimp I've been. And I don't care for anything else besides your naked body against my own." He breathed, his hands pulling his shirt over his head.

"Your wish is my command." Draco smiled and grabbed his face for a deep kiss, pressing close to Harry.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah so, let me know if you liked whatever this was... I'm so sorry for the lack of updates/lack of creativity and lack of any type of believing in my own self and writing. **

**~ Ven.**


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: Heyyyy guyssssss! Right so, I need to apologize extremely because I have been very uncreative and not at my best. I'm trying as hard as I can to come up with a way to continue this story but I have no clue what to do, how to end it, etc etc. But, fear not, for I have finally mustered up some courage to post a chapter. Please don't hate me?**_

_**As for my mental health: It hasn't been getting better. I still have no clue what I want to do with my life, what will happen, what job to get or if I'm going to go to UNI, and it's still a bit rough for me. Please be patient with me, I'm trying as hard as I can.**_

_**Also, I took part in this year's NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). It's a "contest" where the prize is you getting to brag you wrote 50K in a month. I didn't win, but I wrote about 40K words for a fanfic about Remus Lupin. It's not finished yet, and I'm taking a break from it because I rushed it and it mentally drained me. But, it will be up as soon as I've finished and edited it, and I'm actually really proud of that story.**_

**Warnings: None  
Words: ~2.700**

**Enjoy! Next chapter is a Christmassy chapter, which will -yes, your eyes aren't decieving you- come out during Christmas, next month! So be on the look out for that as well, and I promise I will finish this damn story if my life depends on it. Love you all, thank you for the reviews on my last chapter, your support means a lot to me *heart***

* * *

**Chapter 13**

* * *

"Tell me about your childhood."

Harry was lying down, looking at the ceiling. Draco had been serious about giving him proper treatment as he would to a patient, so he had him lay on a recliner and talk to him, whilst Draco wrote down what was being said and kept notes.

Harry sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't see why this is necessary," he said.

Draco scribbled something into his notebook and looked at Harry through half lids. "If you don't cooperate, I can't help you. You're my first patient, just please work with me," he said.

Harry rolled his eyes. "I was left at my aunt and uncle's doorstep when I was a baby. And because my aunt had such a hatred for wizardry, I was treated awfully. I got beaten whenever I broke anything or when I didn't do my chores. I was not allowed to ask questions and they locked me in that cupboard under the stairs and didn't give me food when I accidentally used magic, like that one time when a kid was chasing me, and I suddenly was on top of the school's rooftop. The teachers didn't like that, and I got sent home with a letter. In general my aunt and uncle didn't like me, and my cousin was horrible. When he first saw Dementors he nearly passed out, and I had to drag him home after an attack. I almost got suspended from Hogwarts for using magic to save my cousin's life." He said.

Draco was scribbling wildly into his notebook, his eyes glistening with interest as he wrote down details from what he heard. Harry couldn't see what he was writing, but he could bet it wasn't good.

"Do you feel like you were deprived of your childhood?" Draco asked.

"I- What?" Harry questioned.

"It's a simple question. Do you feel like you were deprived of your childhood?" Draco asked again.

"Well, no. I mean, I still played with whatever toys Dudley broke and decided to give to me, and I made friends at Hogwarts when I got here." Harry said.

Draco hummed, writing again.

"What are you even writing? Let me see that," Harry said, getting up and heading towards him.

Draco held the notebook against his chest in defence. "A patient is not allowed to see what their therapist writes. Besides, it's not as if you don't know already," he said.

Harry huffed, trying to snatch the notebook from Draco's hands, but to no avail.

"Sit back down, will you? We're not even nearly close to being done with today's session. You're doing good," Draco said.

"My, I'd like to see the face of your patients when you treat them that way," Harry muttered as he sat down again.

"Harry, I'm not supposed to be personal with my patients. I'm not supposed to be emotionally attached to them. I'm their doctor, not their friend. In this case I'm doing both of us a favour, so just bear with me." Draco said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Harry had to admit he was right. "Alright. Next question," he said, making some effort.

"I'm going to tell you some names and you tell me the first thing you feel. This is a little experiment, I'm only trying this with you," Draco said.

"Alright," Harry agreed.

"Teddy."

Harry sighed. "Affection."

"Dumbledore."

"Confusion, I guess."

"Sirius,"

Harry had to pause and take a deep breath. "Remorse. And guilt. And regret that I didn't use the mirror he gave me and that I didn't try more to connect with him," he whispered.

Draco put down the notebook. "Look at me. Do the breathing exercise we've talked about. Inhale, keep it in for 8 seconds and then exhale for 5 seconds," he said softly.

Harry did as he was told, calming down. "Next," he muttered.

"James,"

"The father I never met but everyone says I'm exactly like," Harry replied.

"Ginny."

"Friend. She's always been my friend. Dating her only complicated things, but I did care for her,"

Draco nodded. "Understandable." he said before continuing. "Ron."

"Best friend. He's the most important person in my life. He always looked after me and Hermione."

"If he's your best friend, why aren't you talking now?" Draco questioned.

"Cause he's in Romania, trying to deal with the loss of Fred on his own. Besides, if he finds out about us, he'll go mad," Harry said.

"Don't you think you should give him a chance to prove that maybe he isn't that bad? Sure, Weasley's impulsive and hot headed, but wouldn't you love it if he were to be here, supporting you?" Draco said.

"No, because… Because this whole thing, this depression, it's not me. So, I wouldn't want Ron to see me like this. That's why I refuse to talk to Hermione too. Sometimes depression makes me be so mean to her, it's as if Voldemort's still in my mind, telling me to hate my best friends for who they are, and for being kind to me," Harry muttered.

Draco flinched at the name but continued none the less. "The reason I've agreed to doing this is so you'll make progress. Without your friends, you can't make progress. Support is what heals people; trust, also."

Harry nodded. "I know. I wish I could tell them how I feel, but I'll come off as rude. I've had to stop myself from thinking rude things about my friends, but there's this voice in my head, bringing back all the bad memories, all the bad feelings."

"Let's stop for today," Draco said, closing his notebook and getting up, moving towards Harry. "Get up," he instructed.

"What for?"

"Just do as I say, Potter," Draco sighed and gave him his hand. Harry took it and he got pulled up by Draco.

"Alright, now what?" Harry asked.

Draco wrapped his arm around Harry's waist, pulling him closer and hugging him. "You're doing very good. Talking about it is good in healing," he whispered in his neck, kissing him there gently.

Harry melted into his arms, swallowing thickly. "You sure?" he asked quietly.

"Absolutely. You're doing a fantastic job, Harry. Let's take a break now," he said gently, rubbing his back.

Harry relaxed in his arms and sighed. "You know, you're not that bad of a therapist."

Draco smirked. "I know, I'm better than anyone else at my age."

Harry rolled his eyes at him as he pulled away from the hug and pulled him down on the bed. "So, you think I should try and talk to Hermione or Ron about it?" he asked.

"Only if you want to."

Harry sighed and looked at the ceiling as Draco wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer and kissing his face gently. The blond started from Harry's cheek and then slowly moved down towards his neck before Harry stopped him.

"No."

"Alright. Do you want me to go bring you something?" the blond asked and Harry nodded.

"I want to drink."

Draco sighed. "Harry, no."

Harry looked at him with pleading eyes. "It won't be as bad as last time, I promise. I just want to drink alcohol. Please?" he begged.

Draco shook his head negatively and Harry huffed, getting away from him. "For Merlin's sake, Harry."

Harry ignored him as he stalked out of the Room of Requirement, heading for the kitchen and trying to avoid people at all costs. He couldn't get rid of the guilt at the back of his mind, and sex didn't feel right when he did it out of spite for life itself. And he didn't want the only thing he actually enjoyed with Draco to turn dull as well.

He hurried downstairs and walked into the kitchen, making all the house elves turn around to look at him. He sighed and forced himself to smile at them and one came up to him.

"How can Golly help?" said the little creature.

"Can I get something to drink? Like firewhiskey, or something?" he asked the elf.

"Certainly, Golly can bring master some muggle beer," she said and walked off, going over to some shelves with things that were cooling and grabbing a bottle of beer for him, returning back with it.

Harry smiled and thanked the elf before starting to walk off. His mind was travelling around the fact that if it wasn't for Ron's idea to alert the house elves, none of them would've survived and none of them would be here. Remembering the war made him uneasy but he just couldn't simply move on that fast.

He took a sip from his beer and sighed, walking out of the kitchen and heading towards the library, where he knew he'd find Hermione. He had finished his beer until he reached the library, and he'd shrunk the bottle in his pocket to throw away.

Entering the library reminded him of how he and Hermione and Ron used to come here to study and find out what was going on at school each year. He kind of missed having Ron around, if he was honest, and he had continuously pushed Hermione away, so it wouldn't surprise him if she saw him and turned her head away in disgust.

He found Hermione leaning over a book, scribbling down on a parchment and pushing her hair out of the way furiously, fussing about something. She was even muttering to herself and Harry couldn't help but smile.

"'Mione?"

The girl looked up and her surprise was beyond what Harry could've imagined. She stood up and fell in his arms, hugging him tightly and Harry could only hug her back.

"I've missed you," she said as she pulled away. "How are you?"

Harry sighed and sat down with her, putting his elbows on the table and thinking about it. "I've been worse, that's for sure."

Hermione smiled and went back to her scribbling. "I was so worried you were going to try hurting yourself again, but I'm glad to see you're not doing that anymore."

"Yeah, I… I'm giving it a chance… Draco decided to be my counsellor and let me talk to him and ask questions, and he's quite good at it. It's helping. I'm not entirely there yet, but, it's something."

"I'm so proud of you, Harry," Hermione said and looked at him. "You can do this, I'm sure."

Harry beamed. "I'll let you finish your work. I want to take a walk outside, I haven't been out in a while."

Hermione chuckled. "You might want to wear warmer clothes then. It's snowing outside."

Harry felt a sudden rush of joy. He loved snow, ever since he was a kid. Despite the fact that he had to shovel snow away from the entrance of the house when it snowed, he was always outside playing with it and making snowmen. Even though Dudley always destroyed his snowmen, he loved snow more than anything, simply because you couldn't break snow. As soon as Dudley was gone he could rebuild a snowman in minutes, unlike any of his other toys; once _they _were broken there was no fixing them.

He walked upstairs and went to his and Draco's dorm, hoping to find him in there. Harry looked around as he pressed the door to open and found that the dorm was empty. He rolled his eyes and grabbed warmer clothes, along with his and Draco's coats, wanting to go out in the snow. He grabbed some gloves as well and headed for the seventh floor in a rush.

"It's snowing outside!" he said as he barged in the Room of Requirement, almost tripping on the carpet.

Draco was laying on the couch, probably dozing off and he stood with a sudden movement, looking at Harry. "And you're telling me this 'cause….?"

"I want to go out and walk in the snow. Please, Draco?" Harry begged.

Draco chuckled and stood up, humming in agreement. "Did you bring me any clothes from the dorm?" he asked and Harry chucked at him his coat and gloves.

"Come on, let's go!" Harry said excitedly, acting as childish as ever.

He didn't know what had come over him, but he really desperately wanted to hold on to that feeling of seeing snow.

They both ran downstairs – well, Harry dragged Draco downstairs is a more accurate description of what happened – and soon they were out in the courtyard. To Harry's amazement, the ground was covered in snow and thick snowflakes were floating around, falling to the ground gracefully. The sky was grey, fluffy clouds covering it entirely, and the sun was nowhere to be seen. The snow emitted enough light to be able to call it a day, and he loved the smell that the cold air had.

"This is brilliant," Harry said and bent down, gathering a handful of snow in his hands, making his gloves cold. He made the snow into a ball and threw it over one of the archways, watching it fall to the ground. He laughed like a child and then did it again.

Draco was sat a few steps away from him, watching him with a smile stuck on his face, his cheeks red from the cold. He had his Slytherin scarf tightly tied around his neck and watched as Harry had his moment. From his understanding, Harry needed those few reckless and childish moments, in order to feel better. And he wasn't going to take that away from Harry any time soon. He actually quite liked watching him play in the snow like that.

They walked a few meters away, and sat down on a snowed bench, clearing it away. Harry grabbed more snow from the ground and took his wand out, floating the snowball and then aiming to throw it away, which resulted in him sending it so far that he lost sight of it. He leaned back on the bench and cuddled close to Draco, closing his eyes and letting the snow fall on his face and hair.

"I love snow," Harry breathed and opened his eyes, looking at Draco.

Draco was smiling slightly, looking at him, his cheeks entirely flushed red. Harry stood upright and moved closer, looking around them to see if anyone could see them. But at the bench they were sat on, and with this weather, nearly nobody was outside, and nobody could see them through the windows either. He inched closer and looked at Draco in the eyes, clouds of his breath appearing between them and he parted his lips. Draco seemed to get what he wanted and he closed the gap between them, kissing him deeply. Draco's lips were incredibly cold, which made the kiss much more interesting, seeing that Harry's were very warm in comparison. They kissed for a few minutes, Harry's hand resting on Draco's lap and Draco's fingers resting on the back of Harry's neck. They pulled away and Draco pressed his forehead on Harry's, both of them closing their eyes.

"I really value you, Harry. You're someone I can trust, the only person I can really open up to."

Harry smiled and pulled him in for another kiss, his hand moving higher on Draco's lap, reaching for his crotch. His tongue danced with Draco's as his hand gently cupped the blond's crotch, hearing a muffled moan against his lips. He bit on Draco's lip and pulled it between his teeth, his heart racing. He'd never kissed anyone outside and so publicly.

"Not here, Harry," Draco breathed, pulling away from the kiss. His hips were already starting to arch towards Harry's touch.

"Why not? Nobody will see…" Harry muttered, kissing him again.

"Too cold… Let's go inside…" Draco breathed between kisses.

Harry agreed and after a bit more kissing they stood up, walking back to the castle together. They didn't hold hands or do anything, trying to be as neutral as possible, until they reached their dorm. Harry knew that as soon as they were behind closed doors again, nothing would stop them from tearing each other's clothes apart. And he didn't mind knowing that information one bit.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for this chapter being so short, I'll try my best to write a 5 to 6 K word one for the next chapter. Till then, have fun **  
**~ Ven**


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